Note: This may be a long post, but I'll try to break it up so it's easier to read.Hi, everyone. My name is Jessica. I used to be a regular here so long ago in fact that I forgot my user name/pw I used to use here so I had to sign up for a new one. I don't know why I stopped going here, but I'll try to be on more often.I have this situation with a college guy from class and am needing some advice really bad.So, there's this guy in my computer art class. When the semester began back in August, we sat at opposite ends of the computer lab. One day, a few weeks ago, the teacher paired us up to do a computer project so she told him to come over and sit next to me and ever since then, I've really loved having conversations with him in class...we seriously talk the whole period and we have class from 6:30 until 9PM together on Tuesdays & Thursdays.This is the first guy I have ever met in my 22 years of living where I don't feel embarrassed, can talk to him easily, and don't just want to hook up with him, we click really well. I don't know if he gets that vibe from me, but I have never ever met a guy I could flow with SO easily until I met him.About two weeks ago, we've decided to make it a ritual to hit the bars after class on Thursdays. One week he pays for my drinks, another week I pay for his, etc. I had a really great time with him last week and was surprised he still wants to hang out with me after I accidentally puked in his car So, we got to talking about our relationship & sexual histories of course and I found out a few things about him. He feels that he is the independent type of guy and doesn't need to be in a relationship, just wants to have fun. However, I did ask him, if he ever met the right girl to go out with, would he? He said he probably would if it ever came up.Am I wasting my time with him or should I just keep hanging out with him as friends, or date him for a little while non-exclusively.He's never had a girlfriend, but he's been with three people. ... and unfortunately, most recently has had sex with someone he works with last weekend.He just started hanging out with her before he hung out with me. He and I had talked a lot in class before we started hanging outside of it, though.He told that other girl he doesn't want anything serious and he knows she likes him.I also don't know if I am the other woman in this or not, even though he says he doesn't want a relationship...but something might change his mind from either one of us, I keep having that thought in the back of my head.I hope I'm not the other woman. He told me he tried to get that other girl to have sex with him on the first night they hung out, but on the first night we hung out, he didn't try to do anything with me...I told one of my friends this and she thinks this means he may not have been interested in me in that way, but I view this as maybe he might just want to get to know me even more too, not just have sex.It seems from what he tells me about the other girl, he's not really really into her, just into her for the sex.He stayed at my place last night after the bars and all we did was basically hard-core make out/dry hump, lol. We also talk a lot, too. I told him one of these days I'm gonna wanna have sex with him, but I don't like how he's messin' around with that other chick, too.What do you guys think? What should I do? Am I the other woman and am I wasting my time with him? I want to have sex with him, but I don't like the idea that he's still doing things with a girl he works with.He still wants to hang out next week, too.Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading! Sorry for the post being long!
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Am i wasting time w/him 'n am i the other woman?
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Welcome back, Jessica! At the least, he sounds like a pleasant friend. At the moment it seems that if you asked him to choose between that other girl and you, you wouldn't be sure of the right answer. But perhaps after a couple more months it might be different. It seems worth getting to know him better, anyway.
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Originally Posted By: IneligibleWelcome back, Jessica! At the least, he sounds like a pleasant friend. At the moment it seems that if you asked him to choose between that other girl and you, you wouldn't be sure of the right answer. But perhaps after a couple more months it might be different. It seems worth getting to know him better, anyway. hey ineligible, thanks for the advice! I wish I was one of those who has no problem being non-exclusive/doesn't think about it too much, because that means I can also see other people besides him, too, not just him. But the thing is i don't really have anyone else that I really want to date besides him. How do people date each other for a long time and not want to be exclusive? It would almost drive me crazy if we basically hung out like bf/gf all the time, but without the title...especially if I like him a lot, too.
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Sounds like hes just looking for a fuck buddy
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i will be sure to update u guys on the situation the next time we hang out. i kinda get the feeling that right now he is doin stuff with that other girl at this moment.
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Originally Posted By: StephieJSounds like hes just looking for a fuck buddy Yep...sad but true. Sounds to me like this guy is going to have to grow up a lot before he's even ready to have a real relationship. A lot of girls (and some guys) seem to be caught thinking that they're the one who's going to change the other person in some way. Don't bet on it. I'm not saying toss it away, but don't get your hopes up...the odds are very, very good that this guy wants sex and nothing more right now. So unless you want to hang around him for several years waiting for him to grow up and out of his "me, myself and I" phase, I'd move on in the romance department. While you're paying attention to this guy, somebody who's just right for your may be sitting right under your nose.
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I think when we have feelings like that they are usually true.
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i actually wouldn't mind a fuck buddy myself because i honestly hadn't had sex since april pretty much, but the thing is...he's already fuckin' another chick at his work, they use protection i know, but i just don't like that he's messin' around with someone else, too.would you guys still have sex with someone knowing they were messing around with someone else, even though it is also protected?
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To be honest i wouldn't but i'm young and innocent and in reply to your main question, i'm a guy, guys dont change and this guy sounds like he's just in it for the sex. If i were you i wouldn't just be his fuck buddy, your worth more than that and you know it. Either way stick to your heart and guns and dont let anyone change your mind.Spazpro
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Originally Posted By: Spazpro...i'm a guy, guys dont change...That sounds like shit a womans magazine would say.I'm a guy and I've changed. I used to be a major fuckin' ass. I'm still an ass but not in how I treat women, so I have changed.All human beings are capable of change. It's a matter of what's within them and if they have the desire.