AIDS? Extremely Scared

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I'm very scared right now and have been depressed for weeks over this. Background about me: I am 23, white male in the midwest U.S. I was a virgin until age 21 and had very few sexual encounters, I have only had "full" sex with 2 girls and engaged in oral sex/attempted penetration with 2 others. My last sexual encounter was in December 2007 and I gave her oral sex, had brief bj not even to completion and I was so drunk that I was unable to get erect to have sex so I just kind of brushed my penis against her wet vagina. Last August I found a lump in my neck. It has been there ever since and hasn't really changed much. I know I should have it checked out but I'm afraid to hear the worst. I am certain it is a lymph node. The last couple of weeks I have experienced several new enlarged lymph nodes on my neck. Just yesterday I found clusters of them in my groin area. I'm terrified.I've had no real other symptoms. I've been sick occasionally but nothing more than a mild cold. In fact the last several weeks all of my office was sick but I didn't miss a single day. I do suffer from frequent cold sores since I was a child. When one flares up my neck nodes usually swell on the side on the side nearest the sore. I did have a few cold sores recently so as normal my neck swelled up, however it usually subsides in a few days. Right now my neck and groin and very swollen.So I have no symptoms really besides the glands however every search I do online for those symptoms makes it seem you must have AIDS if you have swollen glands that don't go down. These medical websites are driving me crazy and keeping me up at night. When I read the symptoms of HIV I can't help but convince myself I have it. I have NOT lost any weight even though I actually had been attempting to diet. I am always hungry and I don't seem to be wasting away. Also I've had no rash, flu, or fever ever.I've had hardly any sex in my life. I was careful most of the time except with one girl I have sex several times without a condom. This was overseas in a country with probably the lowest rate of AIDS in the world and with a girl who I assume didn't get much action. Last I checked, all of my sexual partners are still alive, or at least their facebooks are current. I'm scared and can't stop thinking about this. I am too scared to get tested so don't tell me to do that it only scares me more. Besides if I did have it I would instantly kill myself because my life and dreams would end there.I constantly mess with the enlarged gland every day unconsciously. I'm scared. I haven't been sick lately just these glands no other symptoms but I don't know what to do.

Welcome to A2A, bapple.The enlarged lymph nodes suggest your body is fighting some sort of infection, but it could be any of dozens or hundreds. Nearly any infection can have no symptoms if it's at low enough levels. Sometimes swollen lymph nodes can stay swollen for months after the initial infection, and it certainly doesn't necessarily mean AIDS. However, you should talk to a doctor about it and keep it under observation, just in case it's something more serious.

Hi, thanks for responding. I have actually been obsessively refreshing this page anxious for a reply because of how scared I am.The lymph node in my neck started in late August while I was out of town visiting a friend, when I came back I was mildly sick for a week or so with cold symptoms, no fever at all. Also at that time nearly everyone in my social circle was sick too though and most worse than me. The lymph node stayed the same for several months until a couple weeks ago when I noticed another few small lumps around the larger one. Just last night I found lots of swollen lymph nodes in my groin and it kind of hurts to walk a little and bothers me during the day. This was the point I convinced myself it was AIDS and now I am seriously just thinking of ending it all. It's a catch-22. I don't want a test because I will kill myself if I have it but I feel depressed and terrified now without knowing.The internet is no help at all, everyday I Google "early symptoms of AIDS" and scare myself shitless.My question is, what would cause a lymph node to be swollen for 3+ months and additional nodes to swell in the neck and groin? I have no other symptoms which is what puzzles me and I have very limited sexual experience, I can probably count all the times I've had sex. I cannot go to a doctor because I have extreme panic attacks even thinking about going in a doctor's office. Also I have done research into lymph nodes and it seems if you mess with a swollen node it will stay swollen longer. I have been constantly squeezing, pushing, and poking at the one in my neck thinking if I popped it, it would drain and go away. Is this accurate and if I leave it alone for a while it may go down even though it's been there for a quarter of the year?

If you google 'chronic enlarged lymph nodes' you'll find lots of possibilities, some quite scary. However the fact that it started with a cold is probably significant. It seems likely that your immune system is having trouble turning off again, and this is common among people who are anxious or depressed. Have you been feeling more tired than usual?

Yeah I have been sort of fatigued for at least the last couple of weeks, I also found that as a symptom online which really scares me. The lump actually started just before the cold, like 1-2 days. Now I remember I had bad Bronchitis after the cold which kept me coughing for about a week. However, my mother had the same condition at the same time and was even worse than me. I do have anxiety and severe depression but never had this happen before. As I type this now my groin has a dull, pulsating ache and I keep shuffling in my seat because it bothers me.

There are a myriad of reasons for your symptoms, at this point though to try and help out a little, you should read the Wikipedia page about AIDS, and then work out your statistics which should help you feel more at ease... a good base figure is around 1 in 500 million chance... I can't argue with your thoughts about maybe having it, there is only one answer to that, and I know how I felt when I had the test, I don't have a huge sexual history by any measure of the word, I'm 28, and all of my gf's have been long term and I've always been careful, it didn't stop me from shitting myself senseless for the 2 weeks it took me to get the result!!Anyway, as I said, there are a million and one things that could cause this, but as you're so worried, and I'm actually watching a programme right now that could be helpful... try this link:http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/teenage-bodiesand see how you get on with your symptoms, and yes, it's scary but with the right drugs and stuff you can live a pretty normal life even if you do have AIDS/HIV, and if you did top yourself and a cure was invented the day after you did that... it would kinda suck, a lot!! So, in my humble opinion... don't top yourself!!!Obviously, you're not keen on the doctor idea, but it will aleviate your concerns, and as I've already stated, the statistical chance of you having contracted AIDS/HIV is incredibly low... perfect example being one of my friends, who can only be described as a deviant where women are involved, and since I have known him, he's had at least 100 - 200 "girlfriends" and he travels all over places like Thailand where it's a lot more rife, because of his profession, he gets tested every year, and it's been negative every time!Good luck finding out what the problem is, hope the link helps

When the immune system doesn't go back to normal properly after an illness, it often results in fatigue. That can last quite a long time, but eventually goes back to normal as your mood improves.But the nodes aching as well is not common. It's not at all likely to be AIDS, but you really should see a doctor about it - not to be told you're going to die, but to start getting better.

Yeah I know but this just started yesterday in the groin, at times it seems to subside and at times worse. I do take ibuprofen for it and it seems to help a little.Could I be imagining most of the symptoms? It seems the more I read, the worse I feel. This is eating away at me, I am afraid if I go to a doctor first thing he will do is suggest an HIV test. I think I'd die of a heart attack if he said that.The strange thing is, I am gaining weight even though I tried eating low-carbs. Also everyone in my office is sick besides me and I just had a runny nose for a few days, that was it. If someone had HIV wouldn't it be "all-out" and not just selective symptoms?

It's very unlikely to be HIV, because this is a difficult STD to catch orally, and it was a long time ago.

I had unprotected vaginal sex in July 2007 on at least 3 occasions with the same girl. This girl is still around and must be in okay health as she regularly updates her facebook and I'd think someone dying of AIDS would have different priorities.It just scares me with the lymph thing because all my online searches point to only AIDS. The other causes are Tuberulosis, Cat Scratch Fever?, and Lymphoma. I know I definitely don't have the other two and isn't lymphoma just a symptom of AIDS?

A lymphoma is a type of cancer.This site lists 308 causes of swollen lymph nodes.

Oh and I don't know if this matters but my brother was very sick and felt tired all the time for a few months a while back. He was tested for everything and in the end they told him he had Mono.At this time I was 6,000 miles away however and the next time I saw him was probably 2-3 months after his illness passed but I mean if he had Mono could I have somehow got it too? My symtoms also sort of echo Mono but I don't feel extremely sick and I am able to work 40 hrs a week with no problems.

If he sent you a letter it's possible he might have passed it on to you. It's conceivable you might have a sub-clinical dose of it.

No, unless it's transmitted by phone call he never sent letters. I know it's called the "Kissing Disease" and I have done a moderate amount of kissing in my life.Anyways could Mono survive on a piece of paper for more than 10 days, especially as air-mail in a sub-zero cargo hold? Even HIV doesn't last longer than 1 min. in open air right?Mono makes your lymph nodes swollen all over if I'm not mistaken? Are there any other sure-fire symptoms of Mono.Also, does me not being sick but everyone else around me being deathly ill in the last week mean anything in my favor? What about my weight gain? Do these things get me any "points"? I'm just so scared and I automatically always assume the worst. Thanks

I think these are difficult questions to answer. The only way to find what it is would be to do a lot of tests.

Okay but generally how do most people's bodies react to HIV? Also how long would it take to show symptoms? Do my symptoms echo anything specific you've ever heard of? I need help. I can't shut my mind off.Last time I had unprotected vaginal intercourse was in July 2007, 15 months ago. The next time I had sex was in October 2007 and I used a condom every time with that girl.I was with a girl in Dec. for one night but it was mostly oral and I never penetrated her.

These questions require more than our advice, you need professional input. Don't panic and make the situation worse for yourself. I think you should go and see a doctor and you can be advised on what the problem is and how to treat it. Hopefully then your questions will be answered, because as previously posted, your symptoms could be a number of things.

Yes I know you can't diagnose AIDS over the internet but it's 10:45 PM here and I can't exactly run to the doctor now. I just need some kind of reassurance to help me sleep tonight. Maybe I'm so fatigued because I toss and turn at night terrified about this.

I think you're working yourself into too much of a frenzy of anxiety by thinking so much of AIDS. I claim no special expertise in AIDS per se, but I reallly see problems in the way you're thinking about this. First of all, I would be very, very surprised if that were the immediate thought of a doctor at an office visit for enlarged lymph nodes. To my knowledge, this is not a major symptom through which aids is initially diagnosed. And nothing you've described sounds very typical of early aids generally: you're not sickly, you're not losing weight, etc.. Enlarged lymph nodes can be caused by a myriad of things, some of which can be minor, and some quite serious. The fact that this started when you had a cold and bronchitis may be significant. Maybe the trick to getting yourself to see a doctor is to try to understand that aids in your case is remarkably unlikely, especially because you've had such limited sexual exposures.

It's really hard to tell what's going on here. You've got so many symptoms, each possibly caused by another. You say that you're worrying so much about what the symptom could point to that you can't sleep. You're fatigued. Well duh, lack of sleep will definately cause fatigue. Could it be caused be something else? Well, sure.As Ineligible said, swollen lymph nodes indicate an infection. Not a certain infection but any infection. Only a medical workup is going to tell you what it is and how to begin treating it. Don't assume the worst. While you have put yourself at risk, you'd have to be extremely unlucky to have anything serious. Make an appointment today and move on with your life. Don't waste it self-diagnosing on the internet.