this is a response to all of you who replied...i guess ive so to speak been emotionally love traumatised by this whole predicament, ive come to realize, life is going to happen as life happens...u can make plans for a picnic, but u cant predict the whether,there are a billion and 1 things that can go wroung with ANY plan that ANY one person sets... so long as its in the future...let me clarify, you tell yourself, "ok, at 9:00 imma get up and getta drink", at 8:50, you get a call that your friends pregnant, or that there in the hospital... there goes your drink...im not going to stress her, or any other person.i saw her on halloween, and everything was fucking great... we sat and talked for 3 hours (we started talking at 12am, finished around 3:15am or so)we slept together, cause it was at someone elses party and it was late,she did kiss me, and if u know her, she NEVER initiates kisses unless she wants them... but i disregarded it and such... if you guys want to hear the song that i recorded about that ideal, you can goto my myspace. http://www.myspace.com/nightlifedatkidthe songs called breaking my heart.here are the lyricsThe phone rang, it was a private callAnswered hysterically verbally addressing,The person within the other line,Askin who it is, what they want,A voice replied, a rush of memories resided within her tone,Flashbacks of the nights we spent alone,The numerous times we’d fall asleep on top of the phone,Listening to each others breath, I snapped back to reality,And sparked up another cigarette,Asked her what she needed, and why she called,There was an event she wanted me to attend,She told me dat we hadda go as friends,Because she met another guy a month prior,And he was her new boyfriend, Dat broke my heart, and set my blood afire,Cursed within my mind, Attempted to cry, But the emotional trauma I had faced before,Denied my tears from escaping my eyes, I fell to the floor, Beggin n pleadin for god to take my life,I saw her an it was an awkward moment,The Street lights were changing, her sisters stereo bumpin,Gave her a nod and a reminisce, Den I thought back to every moment dat we both shared a kissThe pain felt unbearable The happiness was manageable,The day pursued, scuffin brews, And cigarettes times 22, We shared a conversation on the front yard,Talking about love, the past the future,Under the few stars, that showed through the polluted sky,Talked about our truths and our lies, Which revitalized, the old passion that had once in our lives died,We retired to da back, layed on da couch,Cuddled watchin the fire die out,Listenin to bob Marley, no women no cry, All of a sudden the fire died, And along with it the conversation, We went to our sleeping arrangements, Gave her a kiss good nite, Tasting my own beer and cigarettes, feelin dem frivolous vibes,Too bad that day ended,They retired to there sleeping arrangements,He felt astringent, As his body tightened, And her lips pressed against his and then lightened,He didn’t know whether to be kissed,Or kiss back,Whether it was a test of love,Or a test of the will that he lacked,He pressed back, feelin the love electrify within them both,He slid his hand across her thigh,Allowed his hand to guide,Her body on top of his,Pushed against her secretive,Seducing location, His erection pressed against his pants,She slid off from on top of him,And they fell asleep atta slant,Her rear pressed against his lap,She kissed him goodnight,And he kissed her back,Then she said that she was glad,That he could make the party,He hardly felt the same,Doubts and recollections replayin inside of his brain,He laid there half awake, half asleep,Thinking to hisself, maybe she still loves me, thank you all for your advice.
