I seriously dont know what to do about this. I have BPD but...I met this wonderful person, had fun, talked and smiled....I felt my depression slowly slipping away for the first time since my childhood. I made few good friends online as well. But its increasing now again and its even more worse than it was before. I feel so numb and an empty feeling has taken over me. I cant pay attention to anything, when I read I cant remember it later. I hold my brush in my hand and I cant think of anything to paint on my canvas. I hold my pen and dont know what to write on the paper lying before me on my desk. I feel so dumb.Should I get back to meds and counselling? Worst thing is -_- I walked up to a counter and in my head I knew they werent with the airlines I was looking for, saw the damn label which was of another airline.....still I asked if they worked with the airline I was looking for. I so wanted to hit my head on that counter for being sooo dumb! I cant cook as good as I did before, I am neglecting my pet ignoring my parents. Its affecting my daily life.I dunno wat to do wats wrong with me....help!! My ex-bf is still annoying me too! I am getting suicidal thoughts but they arent as motivating as before to make me to kill myself....which is weird!
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Numb and Dumb
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I have also found that interaction with good friends is one of the most effective anti-depressants. Have you lost contact again?None of us are at our best when depressed. It's not your fault. I can't say whether it's time to try meds again, but it might be if the depression continues.
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Originally Posted By: IneligibleHave you lost contact again? No. I m still in contact with my friends. But depression is increasing.
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I am by no means an expert, but meaningful interaction with people seems to be a key. If you like art, perhaps go to a museum (just an example) and talk to folks you don't know well about art...whatever things that are important to you, seek out others with similar interest. Message boards are OK for this too, but in-person is always the best. I think getting out of the house/apartment to a park for a walk with somebody helps, too. Physical excercise can boost your endorphins. Either way, sitting at home too much can certainly be depressing.
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I may join a gym soon. I seriously need exercise.Taking to people face to face has never helped me cuz I often dont find people with similar interests as mine and their comments kinda piss me off often My depression is severe with suicidal thoughts etc...and I have social phobia-panic attacks wen i see or visit places like parks, airports, malls etc. i may see a doc soon i have been off the meds for few yrs now but its not helping.
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Originally Posted By: Sayai may see a doc soon i have been off the meds for few yrs now but its not helping. Just seeing a doctor can't hurt, and meds are better than suicide. I pray you do as you need to do, and for better health. I think gym is a wonderful idea, too.
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Originally Posted By: thorI am by no means an expert, but meaningful interaction with people seems to be a key. If you like art, perhaps go to a museum (just an example) and talk to folks you don't know well about art...whatever things that are important to you, seek out others with similar interest. Message boards are OK for this too, but in-person is always the best. I think getting out of the house/apartment to a park for a walk with somebody helps, too. Physical excercise can boost your endorphins. Either way, sitting at home too much can certainly be depressing. I think that's good advice. Try and find a way to apply it to yourself and what's in your acceptable zone... note, I didn't say comfort zone. You don't need a gaggle of friends to go out with. I have only one friend in real life and I only see him about once every other week. Do your best to find someone who you can share at least some interest with. Even more important than that is someone who's personality you can jive with. If two people get along good they will tend to find common interests that they can build a relationship on.Short of that if things get to bad don't hesitate to make a trip to the doc for medication. There's nothing wrong with being medicated, if I weren't I would be impossible to be around.
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Quote: Even more important than that is someone who's personality you can jive with. I wont find some one like me here....I am rare piece of human. j/kthanks guys, I will follow on what u have adviced.