To cut a long explanation short, I did what I usualy never would and did some online snooping when my 17 year old brother forgot to delete his web history as he usually does when he's finnished with the laptop we both share.I figgured he was just hiding porn sites he'd visited but I found a forum he's been posting on, and some of his posts have got me abit worried about him.I've learnt he smokes pot with his friends which concerns me, because I never thought he was the type to get into drugs, and it seems thats what he spends all of the allowence he gets from my parents on that.I also found a post where he talks about how he wants to sell his drum kit and get a part time job to pay for an engagement ring so he can propose.the same post talks about how his gf of 3 years is not outgoing or outdoorsy enough 4 him and unfit and has a very low libido which means he almost never gets sex.I would love to be able to talk to him about this stuff but I know he'd be too embaressed and I'd have to admit I snooped when I shouldn't have. I really don't think my brother and his gf are right for each other although they obviously love each other very much and he is too young to commit to her like this. I also wan't to talk to him about him smoking weed.At this point I don't think I'll say anything and just hope he comes to his sences and sees that this girl is more of a best friend then a life partner, and I wish there was somthing I could do to help because I do love my little brother very much and I want to make sure he's ok......
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Sex, love, weed and internet snooping
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Perhaps just keep a closer eye on him, and make sure that he doesn't get into any harder drugs, or anything of the sort. As for his girlfriend, I agree, he shouldn't be thinking about proposing at this point in his life. However, it is his choice who he is with, and if he has been with her for this long, she must make him happy. I'd just keep an eye on him, and make sure things don't get worse with the drugs.
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I disagree with Flea on the drug aspect, it is possible to take drugs responsibly no matter what anyone says, I've done so for a year and a half, not a single part of my life has been effected by it. Your brother is becoming closer and closer to being an adult, he's 17 years old, this means that his actions will have consequences and the only way to learn from your actions is to feel the consequences. Having a sister tell him that she checked his history and start telling him what and not what to do will drive him further into something you may not want him to.Also all of those things you just described aren't significant, rather very common. Most teenage boys think about the exact same thing and their actions are exactly the same.HOWEVER if you do see that his drug use has become abuse rather then a recreational thing and its effecting his academics or other aspects, then you should approach him, not about his drug use but rather why these things are occuring and maybe he will open up to you.Regardless he is your brother, this means that you should respect his decisions, not necessarily support them but respect them. If it ever does come up certainly do express your opinion but remember once again his decision and not your own.That's my two cents.
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whilst the drug thing is something you should avoid unless you notice it becoming excessive or damaging seeing as he probably wont listen to you anyway and might just get pissed at you.however, if youre truly concerned about his relationship then talk to him, ask him how the relationshipit makes him feel,and if it makes him truly happy before you criticize it. then, dont go about saying you hate his girlfriend, simply address some things youve noticed and definately stay AWAY from anything youve found snooping.
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I'm just going to let things be for now. It's in his last few weeks of high school now and next year he starts uni so he might not even stay in contact with these friends he smokes with.If he brings up issues with his relationship I may ask him if he thinks theyre truly compabible and if that's the relationship he wants to be in for the rest of his life.......but I'll leave them alone.I over reacted, they can sort their own shit out, theyre old enough.