I need sum help on dealing with my friends,one is my best friend and the other im friends with.Let me star of with this,im a 22 year old bi male and just met sumone for the first time and feeling happy with my life for the first time and these two have been there for me with the whole comming out thing and go with me to the gay club to keep me company.the best friend ben,he broke up with his girlfriend back in aug after a year and a half of dating and he was heart broken so i spent alot of time talking to him and helping him and so fourth but he wouldnt let go of it and still lets it get him down and hes been drinking alot,started to smoke cigs a little and cut himself.the other friend jon,is weird and diffrent and has been doing nothing the past half year,hes spossed to move to cali and become a snowboarder and quit his job and now dosent go to college or ANYTHING so he has alot of free time.now ive spent every weekend with these two since september,he did our share of drinking and now its all they wanna do and neither one of them drank till I asked them to come with me to the gay club. i feel responsible for there drinking as i would buy the alcohol but now they want to drink even when we sit at my place.so heres the problem,they are driving me insane,it seems like there 100 percent dependent on me and cant shit without me.I met this guy back in october and ive never been in a relationship and i feel like im in love and he likes me back and i spend maybe one day outta the week with him and there was a period of a month where i didnt see him because he started a new job and was busy with that so i complained to my friends i thought he and i were over and so fourth.now were hanging out agian and i still like him and last sat i made plans with him and my best friend got pissed i didnt hang with him instead and i figured he would understand seeing i didnt see this guy for a month esp since im fucking with them every night pretty much.ill tell u all this,i can be a private person and i like being alone sumtimes,im easily annoyed and depressed and i have a hard time dealing with my depression so i stay in my room and ignore the outside world including them.Ive been taking psychology classes so i can understand other peoples thoughts and feelings but i cant really understand these too. i feel they are being selfish and immature,dont get me wrong i know the mistakes i make and there if sum things i prob could have done to sotp this but i just feel like they dont bleive how busy i get and how unhappy i can be.i got to school full time and i run the house and take care of everyhting around here and im trying to develop a relationship for the first time and i dont think they understand,ive told them that but they still bitch.they dont have any other friends but me,i have many friends and i havent seen any of those other friends because ive been with ben and jon.i want to see my old friends agian because there was never this much negative thoughts in my head.i feel there bored and lonely so they need me to change that,im not lonely and i am hardly ever bored.monday night they called and wanted to do sumthing,i said i have homework and have finals in the morning so i cant hang to long,i didnt hear from them till 11 and i was ready for bed and dint answer there call and then i get a shitty message on myspace from one.jon had the balls to try to bitch me and he even said that the guy ive been hanging with is only using me,he knows nothing abotu him or even situations like that as hes always been single and never been intimate with another person.so im not sure what to do,ive talked to them before and told them eeverythin except for there driving me crazy,i did tell jon hes to dependent on me and he never replied to my message and noones called me today so far.the bad thing is,i have a month off from school and so does the best friend so i know there going to call every goddamn night and i feel like they expect me to drop whatever im doing to answer there calls,they dont understand how many responsiblities i have and those come first.so what do u guys think is the best way to MAKE them understand?
I need advice on how to deal with my friends
They sound like stereotypical Generation Y people, though this has always been a common problem, especially between friends who are single and those who aren't. (Romeo sees a lot less of his friends when he finds Juliet.) I don't know if there's any easy way here - you'll have to stand up to them and put your duties first. Inevitably there'll be more distance between you and them, but that is probably inevitable anyway, as you grow apart.