well this is probably gonna be a long message so i won't shocked if most people don't read the whole thing. I basically came to this site for help because i would like an opinion on just my situation that doesn't know me in person. well it all starts with my girl friend of a year and counting and things are going generally well. No fights, little arguements, and we get along fine. but yet i feel as though things are changing for me. I'm starting to notice that girls that i would never look twice at are now catching my eye. I think this is pretty normal i guess but theres more. And it doesnt help that i still have lingering feelings for my ex when ever i see her. I feel as though my relationship with my gf is at a standstill. Well she believes in abstence and well... i dont. I look around having all my friends telling me o how theyve done this and that and i feel left out. my girlfriend is also against drugs of any kind. so then again i feel left out with some friends and also losing the ablility to try new things. any talking about the drugs or sex with my gf result to her telling me well if you feel like that, then maybe we should break up and i really dont wont to lose her over stupid things like that. Yet at the same time i feel as though for some reason ill be missing out on life if i don't. Ive always had people tell me that my age were some of the best years of their life(17)so right now im at a standstill, ive already talked to her about what im going through but it resulted to the same old statement. now dont get me wrong, shes the best thing to ever happen to me, but i still feel like this. i would have gone to my dad for help, but his help on girls is to date one til u get bored then find another and my brothers advise is "what your not getting any? dump her" so ive come to this site for advise. please help me sort things out in my head, maybe sway me to one desicion over the other.
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A complex relationship problem
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In my opinion it is perfectly normal for a girl at the age of 17 to abstinent. That is her personal choice and it is something you have to respect and deal with in your relationship. How do you feel about being abstinent? Does the teasing bother you or is it the fact that you want a sexual relationship and are not in one?With the drug thing i see it as understandable, but it all depends on the situation. If you and a few buddies want to smoke some weed sit around the house, eat, and watch TV i dont really see that as a big deal, especially if you dont do it very often at all. If you want to go out and do Ex or coke or something then i can see it as understandable that she would not want you to do that.One thing is for sure you do not want to miss out on life at such an early age because of a girl. Especially if it interferes with friendships and trying new things. The best thing you can do is talk to her about your freedom and try to make her understand you want to have a good time and be able to do new things. If she doesnt understand that then dont let her hold you back, live your life while your young and dont have to work a 9-5 job all day, pay bills, etc.With the sex thing, if you want it and she doesnt there is nothing you can really do about that. Abstinance is her choice and you cant force her to give it up, if it is just your friends bothering you then just let it go in one ear and out the other, if its bothering you because you want sex then you need to decide if you want to look for a relationship that involves that aspect.Best of luck -MMA
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well thanks for replying honestly i didnt think anyone would. well for the first part, its not so much that im be bothered by others about sex, i just feel left out. Also about her being abstenent, im all for her being who she is.i dont try to change her or persue that course with her, only hint at it from time to time jokenly. As for the drug thing, the weed thing was pretty much all i really cared for, nothing really serious. but when i brought it up to her she just turned it away stricktly. I mean i could do it without telling her but i would just be eatin up inside. And about me and sex, i mean i would love to try it, but right now idk if its worth losing her over it.But then iagain its not helpfull when all your best friends have done it already and talk about it. i guess that the decesion i have to try to make.
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Originally Posted By: weird person And about me and sex, i mean i would love to try it, but right now idk if its worth losing her over it.But then iagain its not helpfull when all your best friends have done it already and talk about it. i guess that the decesion i have to try to make. I didn't have sex until I was 24. Before it happened I was always a bit concerned that I'd been missing out.But as it turns out, because I ended up having sex for the first time with a girl that I love more than anything, the wait was SO worth it. In fact I'm so glad I didn't have it sooner because it's made it more special with my girlfriend now The weed thing is another issue though. I really think that getting it out of your system while you're young is the best way to do it, because when you're older you get responsibilities, and then everything becomes dangerous, not only for yourself health-wise, but also for the people around you.Better to do it now, than when you're married with kids, right?So it's a fairly nasty dilemma for you, and I can't give you a right answer I'm afraid.The only thing I can say, is that love, true real love is so much better than any drug out there.
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hey sad man, thanks so much for your reply, i guess i just needed some kind of reinforcement to if i was gonna regret the road that im taking. For the weed thing, i guess ill talk more openly about it with her and see if we can come to some kind of agreement on it. best of all i got to spend the whole day with her and that just lifted up my feelings. i guess ill just stay on the crazy ride and see where it takes me thanks for your advise and encouragement