On the 18th of December..

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..one of my friends I graduated with was killed on her drive home from University. I was on my way home that day and saw the ambulances. I didn't find out until the next day. We werent close, but we were friends. Im still in shock. I cant imagine how heartbroken her family is right now. What annoys me, is how everyone writes their condonlences on FACEBOOK. It's mostly just show in my opinon. Its bullshit. Keep this shit PRIVATE. Its like people need to advertise that they knew her. So by writing on her brothers wall about how much they missed her, and writing on her wall about how wonderful she was.... its not like thats going to bring her back. Its insane. And sorry if I upset anyone here by posting this, but I really dont see the point in writing that shit on someones public facebook wall. its kind of like "yeah, I knew her, so im going to write that i miss her so everyone can see how upset i am" Im not writing this for pity. im ranting. i realize that everyone deals with pain in their own way, but I mean, its crazy how almost everyone does this now.

I don't see what the problem is.

A couple of years ago the brother of one of my friends was killed in a road traffic accident.

People put stuff on facebook about it, but there was no "bragging" as you seem to insinuate, or anything in such a way as to suggest a popularity contest, but rather it was a collaboration of friends memories of the person. It was actually quite touching.

I don't quite see what your issue is to be completely honest. Unless the posts the people you know make contain some sort of voodoo resurrection chant, I don't see where you're seeing any attempts to bring the person back. In my experience it's just people banding together in a time of sorrow. I wish facebook was around when my mother died, as I would have appreciated some kind words off people in my time of need.

mmmm I know what you mean, I get annoyed with people advertising literally everything too. Some things should be kept private... It is one of my pet hates!

Oh okay, so I guess people don't know how to send sympathy cards, or you know, use a phone or see them in person? That's what I'm ranting about. What pisses me off is how a lot of these people knew her, but they werent really friends with her. but yet they post that stuff anyways. but yet if she was still alive and walking down the road and saw these people, they probably wouldnt even speak to each other.It pisses me off how people act this way. because when i lost both my grandparents, all of my extended family were all bullshitting to me saying how much they wanted me around and shit,then after the funeral i never heard from them after. whenever someone is alive, you dont hear from anybody, then all of a sudden when someone passes, everyone is up the family's ass. The majority of it is fake in my opinion. If someone is going to send a message on facebook, why not send a private one? That just makes more sense to me.

Thank you. You get my point totally. It's like some of them say shit just to get sympathy because they knew the person who passed. Drives me nuts.

I completely agree with ya. As a matter of fact I've ranted about the very kind of thing here before to everyone's consternation.

Actually after reading my post, it reminded me of you.

I shall take that as a complement.

I dunno... I think there are some differences. Like if its a facebook/myspace page you can avoid it if you don't like seeing it opposed to say a popular road you have to travel everyday.Like Sadbuttrue said, it does make some people feel better reading how the person who died touched other peoples lives. Lets them know they made a mark in the world.I guess if you don't like the facebook tributes than don't go to that persons facebook page... /shrug*And no I don't mean that in a rude way *

I completely see your point. I think some people take it to an extreme.. maybe even looking for pity or attention themselves. But some people just don't know better. Today is all about technology and its the quick way to get into contact with people. I often send people messages on facebook to contact them instead of calling or sending a letter (even email for that matter).Im really sorry to hear about your loss. If you ever need to talk you know how to reach me!! I love you! xo

Thanks honey. I agree about the pity thing too.Im okay. Her funeral is today but Im not going. I cant handle funerals. I agree that its sometimes easier to contact people through facebook, but its also just as easy to send a private message on there instead of a public one, ya know?I love you too, and I'm looking at plane tickets for the summer

Ashley, I am sorry for your loss and I pretty much agree with what you're saying.That being said, I think private sentiment is becoming more and more a thing of the past. Look no farther than people's statuses on facebook. "I'm watching tv", "I'm drinking another beer", "I just got finished taking a crap", on and on and on. Between the internet and porno-talk television (where it's now acceptable for a woman to admit to cheating on her husband in pursuit of a million dollars) people have sacrificed privacy for money and fame. And unfortunately this phenomenon has seeped into more "innocent" corners of culture like Myspace and Facebook.

Yup I totally agree. its more convinient for them to just make a wall post then to send a fucking sympathy card. its retarded.