I get really freaked out

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Ok so here is the deal. I am 18 and currently have what would be considered my first boyfriend. He is 21. Well anyway we have been dating for about 2 months now, and like the last 2 weeks I have been freaking out really bad, and I don't understand why I freak out so much. This isn't the first time that I have freaked out either. Before this guy there was 1 other and I got so freaked out I dumped him after about a week, but that was about 2 years ago.

So anyway I didn't start really freaking out until about 2 weeks ago. I am really attracted to this guy, hes really sweet, and just an all around nice guy. He pays for everything when we go out, sometimes he lets me pay, but I have to force him to. So why do I freak out so much?

One other thing, we havn't done anything sexually like as far as it has gone in making out. I know he wants to take it farther. He knows that I am a virgin and am not ready for sex yet, and he gets that but what he doesn't get is why when we are making out I wont let him touch me anywhere "down there". And I always push him away, but he always listens and never forces anything.

But anyway that I guess is the background. So why do I freak out so much when he tries to touch me, and why am I freaking out about being in a relationship with him, even though I really like him?

Don't worry about it. I am sure you already explained it but just tell him your not quite ready to move along the bases yet. He will still occasionally try to test and see if your ready. Perhaps just let him do it and get it over with then you don't have to worry.

Just don't hold out too long on anything sexual at all guys like that stuff. While sex be as long as you want using hands and mouthes is always fun.

Originally Posted By: Ej4Just don't hold out too long on anything sexual at all guys like that stuff. While sex be as long as you want using hands and mouthes is always fun. Fuck that.Anyone should hold out as long as they are not comfortable with doing it. The act doesnt matter, the subject is am I ready, an if that answer is no, then hold out for fucking eternity of thats what it takes for an individual to be ready.

I was about to reply with a FUCK THAT !!(!!!!!!!!!) too! Thats BS. DO NOT do anything (ANYTHING!!!) that you do not feel comfortable with!! When I was 16 I was all sweet and innocent and I was dating a 19 year old who talked me into having sex with him even though I didnt feel comfortable with that. I felt bad for making him wait so long (a month!!) and gave in. He told me his friends were making fun of him because I wasnt giving him any. I regret it now and wish I could go back and change that. Plz dont let him talk you into it. Stand your ground and if he can't deal with hearing no, then he isnt worth your time!!

I for one would like to know what you mean by "freaked out". I'm 19 but I'm afraid I'm a little out of it on this "omglol" generation. (Curse homeschooling).Are you saying nervous crying mass "freak out" or are you saying batshit crazy nails digging into his face "freak out"

whaaat??

That's umm.. what I'm trying to figure out. What does she mean by "freaking out"?

i thought u were replying to me. i was like hmmm!? Where did i say that.

Ok when I say I get freaked out I mean like I stress myself out, and I start distancing myself. O and one other thing, he told me he loved me...and there is no possible way I can tell him that I love him back, I really like him and everything but I am just not the type of person to say that I love someone when I really don't. And when he says that he loves me, I'm pretty sure he's NOT just saying that because he wants me to have sex with him. We have discussed this and he knows that it's not gonna happen any time soon. And I didn't really start freaking out until he used the L word.

It sounds like you are a person who likes to take things slowly, see what develops, and not rush into anything. To you, love is not instantaneous, but grows over time. You interpret his expression of love that he is ready to commit now, but you are not. To some, they can instantly know when they are in love. Most can not, but rather grow into love. Both types are fine and have to accept the other. It appears that he is trying to be patient with you and give you time and space. If you are truly interested in seeing if this relationship will develop, you might try to relax, maintain your principles, and try to help things to grow.

Thanks so much! That really helped a lot!