First off, I want to explain a bit. Understand to the people who dont like me, please leave this post out of negativity, it is for people who can relate. And maybe, just maybe, someone will feel me, and I MIGHT be able to change some part of there life...I was young when i began struggling, constantly i was a knucklehead, picking fights, thinking violence was my way out. i stayed in an orphanage in the dirty rugged part of downtown LA when i was a child. i lost alot of opportunities because of my way to cope with stress... And with a lack of attention from family members, i resorted to the streets, by the age of 14 i was already jumped into the worst, deadliest gang in Florida. i've seen and done things to myself and others that i regret entirely. ive hurt fathers, sons, brothers, even husbands. i wont go into the details, as i recently got over a couple cases on me. but so you can understand lightly what i mean, i knew this girl, whos mom worked 3 jobs, 16 hours a day. 4-6 hours of sleep daily. one day, leaving for work at 3:30-4:00am she told 4 teenagers, that they should get off the street and go home, that they have a better future than just being a statistic. they proceeded to jump her, gag her, but not before sticking a fist full of pebbles in her mouth and tieing her hands behind her back. they then began kicking her in the mouth and face, and to add insult to injury, they ran over her head and torso 3 or 4 times before leaving her mangled body outside of her apartment complex, for her daughter and other kids to find in the morning before school.what im trying to get at, is, this lifestyle, of violence, death, poverty, drugs, sex, money, as dictated and depicted by these fake hip hop artists on the radio station, is not a suitable lifestyle, except for the demons within the earth. When you feel, that honestly, life can get no better, think about my friends mom. think about how many other people in this world came from struggles, and had the strength to push through. had the motivation to succeed, with god by your side, your success is endless...and to end this posting, i'd like you to indulge in one of my songs... i turned 18 yesterday, and it got me thinking, about how many people i knew that never made it to 18... out of my 20 or so close friends, none made it to 23 years old. i will include the lyrics. and you can hear the song on my myspace, http://www.myspace.com/nightlifedatkidjust take a listen to it, or even just read the lyrics. but you honestly need to feel the words coarse within your body. the song is called "When You Left"When You LeftChorus x2When you left, I felt so alone,But now that you gone, I feel dat im home,Wings on my back, god by my side,Proud dat your home, cuz I felt so alone, See I feel dat some of my niggas left, unworthily,Shots fired bra, bra, bra, madem scurry inna hurry, Unworthy of bein dictated within a story, So I decided to represent them inna verse,And now dat im perched, within the top of da throne,Even though im all alone, I feel dat I gotta be home, At first I felt I was cloned, aware of da fights dat, ill eventually face, As an untraced genetically, altered race,I lost da battle but felt dat I, coulda won the war,Unsure of what god has in store, Im ridin the top of the tide, letting god take me within stride,Losin morale but gaining pride, Lackin stability, witta cornucopia of skill,Wishin dey could be with me, I know dey gotta be watchin up over me,Pointin n laughin at da TV, sayin,- My boy on BET,When you left, I felt so alone,But now that you gone, I feel dat im home,Wings on my back, god by my side,Proud dat your home, cuz I felt so alone, Nevertheless I wish I could bring yall back for juss 1 cigarette,And make it a hundred, better yet make it a black n mild,Cause as a child I realized, that life aint worth livin, if you livin a lie,And best believe that i lived far from that style,I remember the first time dat I got jumped,I thought that it would never end, till one of my friends jumped in,I remember conversations on porches, sayin they all passin me the torches,Hopin that ill puttem ta better use, then lightin roaches,And best believe, dat I aint touched a ki, since 05,You told me dat I could do better den gang life,And I believed, so now im sittin writin verses, spittin chorus’s,And flowin up over beats, putting down emotions witta gold pen,Onna starched pressed piece of papyrus, im feelin a little bit lifeless, When you left, I felt so alone,But now that you gone, I feel dat im home,Wings on my back, god by my side,Proud dat your home, cuz I felt so alone,When you left, I felt so alone,But now that you gone, I feel dat im home,When you left, I felt so alone,But now that you gone, I feel dat im home,When you left, I felt so alone,Lightin on my chest, I feel dat im home,Wings on my back, god by my side,Proud dat your home, cuz I felt so alone,No regrets, no worries, no stress, no stories,When you left, I felt so alone,Lightin on my chest, I feel dat im home,Wings on my back, god by my side,Proud dat your home, cuz I felt so alone,No regrets, no worries, no stress, no stories,When you left, I felt so alone,But now that you gone, I feel dat im home,Wings on my back, god by my side,Proud dat your home, cuz I felt so alone,
Feeling Down? Read This!
Wow, that was deep. Really deep. I feel for you. I'm sorry you're one of those people that got involved in that lifestyle... and I'm glad you're trying to make things anew. I feel blessed because I never gave into it. Sure it's one thing growing up without a father but it's another thing to watch your brothers, cousins, and best friends succumb to it. My brother has been to jail twice for the crap he's done. He missed my 16th and 17th birthday because he was out with the wrong people doing bad things. I already laid it out for him how badly I needed him in my life. How scared I was when gang-bangers kept randomly approaching me asking for him. How I feel like I missed the childhood of my one and only nephew. The thing is when you live in that kind of environment... it's hard not to fall into the ways of people around you. I mean, the main reason why so many of my cousins and friends are involved in gangs is for "protection" or... I guess they just need that family feel. It's sad. My cousin Dante, his set calls him "Bronco", he's been in the Crypts for like...3 years now. He used to be so... soft, gentle, and loving BACK THEN. Now he's OD hardcore, he can take a bullet rather than a punch, he's changed so much and as much as I love him I miss the old Dante who was quicker to hug rather than punch. When he found out my ex was abusing me he was going to kill him... literally. And the worst thing is that so many people live this way. They feel it's the ONLY way to live and the only way to survive. You know... I heard a professor say that... everyone is a product of their environment. That may be true to an extent. But I don't believe I'm a "product" of my environment. I don't have a kid before 16. I don't have AIDs or HIV. I'm not involved in anything. And I'm on my way to college with aspirations to be a CI. People need to live their lives in regards to what's best for themselves. Temptation is strong but it's the reason why so many have died. I'm sorry about the loss of so many of your friends. I'm tired of going to funerals for people younger than 20 myself. It's depressing and frankly... I'm sick of it. Just buried a cousin last month along with his girlfriend and unborn child. It's beyond traumatic. Your lyrics are tight though. Keep it up. Oh and Happy Belated Birthday =)