Honey and money

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I rarely received any gifts from my bf.......just a bouquet of roses and a tiny plastic teddy bear with happy birthday written on its tummy in 15 years I have known him and he doesnt even take me out often. Now he asks me if I wanna go on a vacation to a nearby place (200miles or less from my city), I said why not, sure and felt happy.......then he asks me to book and buy tickets on an airline!! And he forgot to call or show up on V-day and my birthday ........and he hasnt given me the single rose he promised he would give me on V-day last year.....no sign of the rose even a year later.What should I do about such a guy? I think I wanna break up with him......I have been dealing with such issues with him for a very long time now......I am getting tired of it. My parents are also finding his behavior a bit annoying. This is definitely not the only issue regarding him thats negative...there are many other things I am really finding annoying about him.Should I break up with him?.......I thought I was happy with him but truthfully I am not happy but more irritated, angry and sad that I wasted all of my best years on him. Its breaking my heart.....I kept ignoring his behavior and rudeness all the time, I cant do it anymore.Any suggestions or advice, guys!

Only you can decide that, I think. It might help to make two columns on a piece of paper, and write down his good points in one column and bad points in another.Don't feel you should stay with him because you've spent so long with him. That's like people putting more and more money into a failing business because they have already invested so much in it. It usually just means they lose even more.

Already made the list..... :frowning:

Negatives and unsaid things outweigh positives.

I dont even know which house is his though we live very near and just a block or so away from eachother.

I really think I put too much time into this relationship........and I know (6th sense or something) that is aint gonna work out well for me in future.

Well If the bad outweighs the good.. then you know what to do.

Did you ever call him out on these things, or attempt to talk to him about it?My ex irritated the hell out of me, because not only was she expecting way to much in general(not saying you are but) She had issues with a bunch of things I did just for the hell of it that wouldn't of taken me any effort to change.But she never said anything about them she just bitched about them to her friends -.-

I have talked about this with him and even sent the message that I dont wanna spend on him..........I will pay my bill if he pays his.....thats what I said, but his reply was if I wanted a vacation I have to pay for him as well.I am not the type of person who would ask someone to get me gifts or something in particular, I get what I want so there is no need to ask anyone else for it........I dont want any jewels or diamonds.......I just wanted the single f****g rose he promised he would get me on V-day!I dont have any friends to bitch about these issues.......except on this forum, I just wanna know whether I can trust him enough to go on or not, I need some opinions from you guys to evaluate and decide what to do about my relationship.I am the only child to my parents.......I really dont wanna marry someone who wants money from me but doesnt want me. I dont wanna keep signing checks for someone's bills until I am bankrupt and on streets.......that thought's very scary.

So finish it.
From what I read here, you sound like your asking permission to shit can him.
Permission granted.
If you wanted a vacation you could go by yourself, not pay for him to have one.
If you want the fucking rose, go buy one for yourself.
You want someone that appreciates you? go find them, after this much time, this many broken promises and this much bullshit Id say its obvious that your not going to find any of what you need with him.

It sounds like you've already made the decision in your mind you just lack the will to put it into effect. Do you ever see him getting any better in how he treats you? Think about and be honest with yourself.

Originally Posted By: GrvtykllrIf you want the fucking rose, go buy one for yourself.LOL ........nice idea!Scotty you are right. I dont think he will ever change. I really never thought my relationship will end this way......so many nice memories, suddenly turned bitter

Wow. he sound like an idiot. WHY should you have to pay for HIS vacation?!?! YOU BETTER NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Id punch my boyfriend in the face if he said that to me! Well probably not but Id dump him for sure!!DUMP HIS ASS.. and go on vacation with a girlfriend!

Originally Posted By: StephieJDUMP HIS ASS.. Thats whats on my mind.I told him I wanna break up and he replies--you cant do that to me after all these years! I said--I can. Then he started murmuring--you always think about yourself and not about me.He has this silly look on his face like I have just shot him in his head or something like that.......all painful, sad and hurt. He makes me feel guilty He does the same thing everytime I say I wanna break up.

I think you care for him and you want him to change so you could be happy together. People often learn best by consequence if things are looked at in a certain perspective and the person wants to change. By breaking up with him, I think you're doing him a favor. It will give him something to think about and hopefully grow from. By breaking up with him, I think you're doing yourself a favor. There are guys out there who have already grown and fit your compatibility puzzle better. In the end, I think you'll both be happier parting ways.

Originally Posted By: SayaHe makes me feel guilty He does the same thing everytime I say I wanna break up.Have you thought that maybe there's a reason he does that.

and you cave in and he gets what he wants, a sugar momma thats content to be cast aside till he wants her, content to pay for vacations and his bills with no help from him when you need it, a hot piece of ass when he has nothing better to do.
Ya know what im famous for? the truth, and being harsh, but if that not what you want to hear, stop reading anything I ever type.
If your still reading...

Grow the fuck up, pull your head out of your ass, and kick the prick to the curb.
A relationship is supposed to meet the needs of both people, if it only meets the needs of one, then its a fucking parasitic relationship instead of a more symbiotic relationship. Of course he doesnt want to lose you, your there anytime he needs or wants you, and where is he when you need and want?
I was fucking 32 when I finally found someone I was happy to be with, that I wanted to be with, that I am still with nearly 5 years later. (5 years being Feb 27) what the fuck makes you think just because ya got 15 years in its worth sticking out?
I was married to a cunt for 10 years, I gave up trying, I cut my losses and got the fuck out. slime some lube around your asshole to make it easier then give a tug, pop your head out of your ass, look around, give a push, free yourself of a weight, go buy yourself a fucking dozen roses, take that vacation ALONE or with a friend and get the fuck over it, start a new life.
Know what happens when you continue to do what you always have done? not a fucking thing different. I did the whole I can change her, I can make her decent, I can make her a better person, guess what? it doesnt work, people are who they are and thats the end of it. if hes not what and who ya want, then fuck him, move on, why waste another 15 years? and 15 years? really? or did I pull that number from my ass ? 15 fucking years. If I was with someone for 15 years, even if say 10 of that was not dating and just knowing each other, and we still lived in separate houses with separate lives? Id fucking finish it and find someone better because I am obviously not satisfied, or they are not, and its not going to magically become what I want to make it all OK.
grow some figurative balls, get it over, get over it, and get on with life. Your only getting older, life doesnt wait, if there is something you want go for it now, not later, later may never come and even if it does, you waste all that fucking time on misery waiting for later to arrive.
All pissy about me ripping on ya now?
Good
you should be, now go think about it.
if you come to the conclusion Im a asshole, whoopty fucking doo! your not the first, do not bother telling me I am, I already know. If you see that your wasting your time and decide to stick to your guns and lose the parasite and start fresh, let me know.
Do whats right for you, and apparently what you decided prior to writing this whole thread was to lose him, now just fucking do it.

Originally Posted By: OldFolksHave you thought that maybe there's a reason he does that. I dont know if he has a reason or not

Originally Posted By: GrvtykllrYa know what im famous for? the truth, and being harsh, but if that not what you want to hear, stop reading anything I ever type. I like the truth no matter how harsh it is.He was only able to play me up cos I wasnt in my senses for a long time.......I was severely depressed to focus on whats going on around me or even pay attention to minor details......at least now I am out of the "fog" and can see more clearly.

From my thousand mile, cross cultural, perspective it's guilt, hun. He wants to make you feel guilty so he gets what he wants without having to come forth with any changes in himself. From what you've posted it reads as if he knows he can guilt you into what he wants and he uses that.Of course, keep in mind, I can only comment on what you post... I don't know anything first hand.

You are right

I don't know about that... I'm just reflecting what you've posted in a different voice.I'm more comfortable with that.

My posts are short excerpts of reality.......cant go into too many details.......got to keep 'em short. But in a sense you are right cos very often I give in when he makes me feel awful. He puts some stupid songs esp blues--sad sad songs when I am really pissed off with him and next thing I know I am crying and hugging him. I cant tolerate listening to such music or songs--they make me more depressed. He doesnt stop the player when I tell him to stop it.......If I leave the room, the music stops.........enter the room, music starts again.