I am lost. My GF is in therapy, she does drugs, she has an eating disorder and gets severely depressed and has tried to commit suicide twice this year, (I found her and stopped her) through it all I am here for her, I tell her all the right things, she has no hope and cant be happy in her own mind. I have gone through tension headaches and feeling so ill that I can barley function because of how she gets. I know if I leave her she will kill herself. I love her more then my own life but I don’t know if I can continue. My spirit seems to be leaving me I am not the same person I use to be. I want to help her but I am lost. I am lost, she is on meds, therapy, loving family, me and nothing seems to work, any suggestions?I am trying to be the Knight in Shinning armor but I dont know if I can do it anymore. She has been through so much in her life.When she was 9 her step dad raped her, her cousins molested her, she has been kidnapped. She has dated a bunch of douchbag loosers in her past.And recently the day after valentines day, she went bi polar on me an dipped to hang out with her friends. She doesnt live in the same state as me, and she had to get a bus back to New Mexico, by sunday night. When she finally contacted me, I went straight there, to pick her up. She didnt answer the phone, so i went In the place. And saw her asleep, in some other guys arms.She said they didnt have sex or anything, and that he was just comforting her...but why did she go to him for comfort? Who the hell is he? He is just some looser, who doesnt have a job...who the hell is getting her, getting her bus ticket back home? ME! I am not some other looser, with no job, no car and no life. I try so hard to help her, fix her life, make things better. I believe I am a good guy, yes i smoke greens ;)...but i did it everyday in highschool, and i still got a full scholarship to ASU, i have a nice car, my own condo, and I work full time at a respectable job. And im only 20 years old. It made me sooooo mad to see her, with some looser who is unemployed, has no car, is going to a beauty school...and he is 20 also.I am really confused and hurt. I told her how i felt, and she said I was just being jealous and its all in my head. Now she is going through one of her depressed moods again, and is saying she is going to die, because no one cares about her.Ahhh so confusing! I know i could get another girl easily, and i probably wouldnt have to deal with this crap. But I am not a quitter..and I am scared if i leave...she will hurt herself, Im scared she is going to end up with some looser who cant take care of her, and will mistreat her. But I am so tired, i havent gotten good sleep in weeks.
Lost in love.
I do a lot of things your gf does when I am depressed, the thoughts that no one cares about me and that I should die, commit suicide runs through my head when I am in depressed state..........though at normal times, I very well know that some people do care and love me, I wouldnt try to die when I am in normal state. For comfort I often turn to pets and plants, not guys, I cuddle up with my puppy to ease my emotions down and sometimes it helps, gives some relief from depression.I did drugs and alcohol when I was under therapy........it resulted in an increase in suicidal rate and also in more depression. Drugs, alcohol and prescribed meds arent a good combo for some one with any depression or personality disorder. Withdrawing from drugs may help.......the therapy will work well only then. Some combos of drugs and meds can impair a person's judgment. Eating disorders are one of the side-effects of the meds as well as drugs.Its hard to live with a person like me or your gf.......and yes she is in a different state than you. If you love her and want to be a "Knight in the shinning armor" then please talk to her therapist about it they will certainly help you to keep your spirits up. He/she will also tell you how to handle particular situations and how to best to avoid your gf to get pulled into her depressive state.Her suicidal rate will decrease later on. I am telling this cos thats what happened to me. In late teens and early twenties--thats when a person would more probably try to kill themselves and may even succeed at sometimes.If you wanna help her then you should be very calm, relaxed around her and if its possible keep a log of things and events that send her into depression.......you will get an idea of what triggers her depression.Get her a pet (if likes animals/birds), or get her interested in arts......its the best way to express ones' feelings and it helps a lot to get rid of emotions and things you cant tell any one about......or gardening getting in touch with nature does help few people. Get her out of drugs first.
I really want to help her.But she has been ignoring me lately, and telling me how she is going to die still ...i keep telling her, that i care for her, and ill help her!!But what about that guy? i want to bash his face in with my fist or run him over with my Gsxr. I dont understand why she is running to that guy who cant do anything for her, who is useless, when i do EVERYTHING for her?
As far as I know some people when depressed dont see things straight. They do risky things that include sex, drugs, driving rashly etc. So it may not be entirely the guy's fault.
Talk to her therapist or her doc, they will help you out regarding her behavior.
She needs emotional closeness and understanding. It very hard for a person who has been through so much at an young age to see any hope in their future or even value life. Its not something you can change overnight, it takes time, lots of time, years and years and lots of patience.
Its 17+ yrs....I havent yet been able to get the thought of committing suicide out of my head or stop all the screaming and crying that I do when I am depressed. What happened to me in past is different from what happened to your gf, in comparison my experiences would be considered milder than hers.
Are you willing to put that much effort into helping her?
You need to do something about this. She is not stable.. nowhere near it. If I was in this relationship I would feel like I was walking on a very thin line.. anything could set this girl off. You need to talk to her parents.. or someone close to her. She needs help and the help she needs you may not be able to offer her. But you can find someone who can. I think she needs to go to a place where she CANNOT hurt herself. Where people are around her all the time who can help her.