Can anyone help me?

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This post isnt really about a current relationship but its about a past girlfriend and i wasn't sure where to post it.

Bascially i am still quite down after finishing with my first girlfriend (which is just over 3 years ago). She was the girl i lost my virginity to and she was so beutiful and brilliant and i was really happy.
The relationship wasnt the best because she had depression and it was quite hard work, but she was my first and i was happy. But she finished it all because she had depression and she wanted to be on her own. I was obviously upset but i made the mistake of keeping in touch and we would talk for ages on the internet pretty much every day. Then after 6-7months she started to go out again and she told me she slept with 1 or 2 guys which broke my heart (even though i was with another girl at the time) and a couple of months after that she met her boyfriend.
And ever since then i stopped talking to her but i still think about her everyday and it hurts to think shes with someone else and someone else is having sex with her. i get quite down about it and i cant stop thinking about her, and its making me very unhappy.

Is this natural to take this long to get over a girl? i have never loved anybody since and i feel i need to love someone in order to get over her? Even if i seen her from a distance it would depress me now and make me think about her even more.
Do i need help or is this normal?

Thanks for listning.

Originally Posted By: Jonathan12Is this natural to take this long to get over a girl? i have never loved anybody since and i feel i need to love someone in order to get over her? Even if i seen her from a distance it would depress me now and make me think about her even more.Do i need help or is this normal?Okay, I would say, it is pretty normal, considering she took your virginity. I still miss the first person I had intercourse with, and that was a very long time ago... Awwh.. I'm sad now-You don't need to love someone else to get over someone, that's not how these things work, you just heal over time... Which is normally why people cut themselves away from an ex. Which doesn't mean you need to, I'm still friends with all of my ex's and we chill like nothing ever happened... Well, not nothing, but... You know.You don't need help. I would say you're perfectly normal. If anything you could ask how she feels. At your own risk, mind you. But hey, people can suprise you.That's just my two-cents- And, I'm still working on answering questions like that. :3

Thanks for the reply mate, I havn't spoke to her in probably well over a year now it was affecting me to much. She did say once that "I wish it was different between me and you, i think we just met at the wrong time" and when i seen her out last (1.5 years ago maybe little less) she was asking why she finished me when im good looking, good job etc etc and she kept cuddling me and giving me kisses and talking to me all the time. But she was with her boyfriend then. I wouldnt want to ask her how she feels because it was a while ago now and shes probably forgotten. If i do ever see her out I will tell her but i wont go out and find her and say because i dont think it would go well.

TYhanks for the reply mate, i suppose now at least i know its normal

Reminds me of one of my ex's, he broke up with me, for family issues, and... Then he went all "straight" on me. I say "straight" Because he is totally NOT straight. Obviously.But, he randomly, normally around his birthday, will start talking to me again, well, more frequently, we chill at his house, and he comes onto me, very hard. It's really hard, because, I basically fell in love with this boy, and he ended it. THEN 2 years later starts trying to mess around with me. The feelings are still there, after 2.5 years, heh. But you know. I try to avoid doing things with him because out in the real world he is perceived as being "straight" and I wouldn't want to mess that up for him. No matter how much I want to be with him. Things are complicated, whether you're in the relationship or not.

It's normal to think that way. It's better that you don't talk to her rather than start to stack her or just annoy her. Eventually you two may be able to be close friends again but for now I think where you are is about right.

See what I mean? Most people cut themselves away. :p

Yep...........best way out is to cut it off completely. If you keep in touch then it will trigger your emotions and you wont be able to let go easily.

As I have already said with my example. My ex and I flirt, as of 2 years ago. And i still have feelings for him. It would probably be easier for me to find another relationship if I let go of them all...

Of course it will help you if you let go.

Oh, well... I know... I just don't wanna let go, I love them all, as firends... Emotions just get stirred sometimes. Oh noes, I don't wanna hi-jack his thread! XD

Awhile ago I read a girl/woman tends to get over/move on with a relationship quicker than a boyfriend, and the boyfriend could take two weeks for every month so the relationshipthat's 3 months could take 6 weeks for the boyfriend to get over.