Im so upset right now. Tomorrow Im going to my boyfriends house for the "talk". I don't know what to do.. Im torn. I dont know if I should hold on or stop trying. Its difficult. Im already crying and I havent even told you what happened. Im just going to post my blog here to make it less hard.I feel like me and Josh are not going to work. How can we? All we do is fight.. and we're miserable around eachother.. mainly me. I just am not happy with the way things are anymore. We dont have flow anymore.. we don't mesh well. We have a difference of opinion in everything and he always has to prove me wrong. We just dont fit together... and Im starting to realize it more and more. I asked him today if he loved me and he said "Yes... I dont know". And I have to admit.. I didnt even feel that hurt because I can honestly say I already knew.. I feel the same way.. I think I love him.. but am I IN LOVE with him? I dont think so.. not anymore..I think things are just to bad to go back and fix them. I feel like we're so different in everyway and have no goals in the future that are in common. I want to save money so that I can enjoy life... live fruitfully! Where he seems to have no problem saving.. but no motivation for income. He is still unemployed!!!!! ARGH. I know this sounds selfish and greedy but I want to be taken out every now and then and be surprised with gifts, or flowers, even just ice cream!! Just something random and unexpected would be nice. I tell him this all the time and he JUST DOESNT GET IT. I also feel like Im not sexually attracted to him anymore.. I dont really find him that attractive anymore and his negative attitude only makes that worse. I feel like he no longer goes out of his way to look nice and he has a serious hygiene problem!! His breathe is always stinky.. and no matter how many times I tell him to brush his teeth he never gets the hint!! He tells me its because he hasnt eatten yet.. but please.. I do NOT need to smell your morning breathe at 4pm because you couldnt get your ass out of bed until 1 or 2. I just dont feel attracted to him anymore .. our sex life is especially suffering from it. We went from having sex 5-6 times A DAY.. to once or twice every month or two. Its brutal.. My friends used to call me a NYMPHOMANIAC! I LOVE sex.. and no longer enjoy it.. lord help me remember the last time I had an orgasm!! Foreplay anyone! Yes ITS IMPORTANT.. but according to josh it isnt. He said so HIMSELF.I know he isnt the one Im going to marry.. I constantly question myself if I want to marry someone who I cant get along with and end up divorcing them in 5 years. I DO NOT. No fucking way. Josh just isnt it. But why is it so hard to get out? Ive invested almost 3 years with this guy and I feel like when Im around him Im not a good person. When Im around my friends or family Im happy go-lucky.. friendly.. funny.. sweet.. im myself.. but when Im with him I turn into this lashing bitch. Is it just me?? Will I be like this with every guy in my life?Im just torn because it's so hard to let go... because I love him.. I do.. but I dont think its fixable anymore.. weve tried so many times.. and he always gets me to come back. Help me decide what I should do.. And how to do it. I need all the advice I can get.
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Help me:'(
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Once you are sure there is no future in the relationship, the sooner it is ended the better. It's going to be very hard, but waiting makes it even harder. The idea that you have invested so much time with him is the same principle that keeps people pouring money into a failing business because they have put so much money in already - it just makes things worse: you have to accept that that time has been spent; you have probably learnt something from it but if not it just has to be fully written off; any more would be a deliberate and knowing waste.I suggest you make it short; you make it unequivocal with no wiggle room whatever; and you give no reasons. Qui s'excuse, s'accuse - he who excuses himself, accuses himself. Reasons invite an attempt to argue the reasons down; no reasons gives no handle for argument.
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Its gonna be really hard to do. I can't do it without giving a reason.. I just dont know what to say:(
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What about "we just don't fit together any more"."There is no future in our relationship."
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***Hugs***........You know where to find me if you wanna talk to me about it.
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Hey stephie we really need to talk. Im going out of town tomorrow but sunday afternoon if you want to get on AIM or something i can make an account and talk to you. Im in a similar stage in my relationship and i think you and i need to talk, i think it could help both of us. You know how to get a hold of me, best of luck, hugs!
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The only quick advice I can give, is have you actually flat out told him what is bothering you?You say you gave him hints about his breath and stuff, but did you sit down and lay everything out to him and tell him it bothers you? Maybe he's just a bit dim and interprets it as jokes.Otherwise, yeah - no point in dragging it out, move on