So here is my deal, ive been with my girlfriend for close to 4 months and love her more than anything. things were so great, but that stopped a week or two ago and its just been going downhill. The reason would be her ex. They dated for 2 or 3 years in highschool and have been broken up for about 2. For about 6 months before i met her, she was obsessed with him again and was trying everything to get him back but he had a girlfriend, so at the same time she would distract herself with other guys. Then she met me, and according to her, im the only one who has ever made her forget about him, and she no longer wants him. So a few weeks ago the ex broke up with his girlfriend and of coarse txted my girl for help. Since then they have been talking a lot. I keep telling her im uncomfortable with it but she says that she loves me and that they broke up for a reason and they are just great friends, and she hated the girlfriend so now that she is gone they can be friends again. We have been fighting about it the last week and its ruining us, i will be so upset about the situation, and she will be txting him at the same time, like wtf, she cant even give it a minute when its killing me. So the other day she went to lunch with him and the entire day was treating him so much better than me. It created a huge fight where i was so mad cuz she acted like she cared more about him. She tried to tell me that its just that she hasnt seen him in so long and we were fighting, but she loves me and not him. The fight ended up getting so bad that she asked for a break, like not seeing eachother for a day or so, but we talked the whole time. I happened to mention that im not ok with the situation with her ex, but im not asking her to choose or stop talking to him. She then says that the break isnt fixing anything cuz its still the same and she was hoping that it would make us relize how much we love eachother. the thing is, im not going to back down on how i feel, the situation is not ok, and she isnt trying to change it in anyway to fix things with us. She says it just cuz she was mad at me, but still. i dont know what to do, she calls all the time and says she loves me and such, but things are still bad, and i dont know if they will get better. i think she is trying to move past this instead of fix it, but i cant be sure, maybe she really does think its nothing, she did appologize but didnt say anything about how it will get different. Any advice?
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Need advice bad
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Quote:im not asking her to choose or stop talking to himIt seems to me that effectively that's what you are asking for, so you may as well be open about it. Of course, if you ask her to choose, she may choose him.
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It sounds like you're seriously concerned with your girlfriend compromising her fidelity. Were I in your situation, I would say that I'd love to meet the guy. Ideally I'd try to meet the ex while in my girlfriend's company. Here's why:-You can observe how they act around eachother.-You can feel out the ex's personality.-You can see what he's like for yourself, rather than only hearing from your girlfriend.-Maybe you can even establish some mutual respect, a good infidelity deterrent.-Maybe you'll even become friends and hit it off! Heck, if your girlfriend liked him so much back then, he's probably not so bad, right?If you pursue this, know that it will almost definitely be awkward at first, and perhaps throughout the encounter. However, better to establish your presence than to be only on her lips.One more thing: I interpret this situation as a sign that you do not trust her very much. Do you think trust will develop?
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Me and my girlfriend had a few breaks before, about the same type of issue, but that only lasted a few hours at a time, an all you have to do is realize she does love you and not worry just be yourself and relax and trust her witch it seems like you do because you won't stop her from texting him.