When To Ask Her Out.

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So, I met a girl at my friends concert at a local pub. Me and her got along right away, and have been hanging out a lot in the past few days. We both like each other, and have told each other this, but I'm not sure when to ask her out. We were talking about what would happen if we went out, and she said she'd probably say yes, but she isn't sure.She's has a bad history of failed relationships, and has been raped twice. So, I'm not sure on how and when to do it.

If you hang out together a lot for long enough, you'll effectively be going together anyway.

Ask her now. I never said a word to Shannon before i asked her out. never would have if my older brother hadn't made me. I guess fear of a wedgey was higher than fear of this hot girl. lol I did not know this at the time - but she told my sister i was cute and wanted to know why i ran off when her mom drove up. (She started taking horse lessons from my mom) I asked her to a movie, she said yes and we talked about horses mostly before and after the movie. ... it's the only way she could get me to talk- and then i still barely did. Our relationship kinda just grew. We started talking, then holding hands, then kissing… a few dates (movies - horse shows) we never really said anything about a relation ship it just happened. I don’t have a clue what she saw in me but she was - and still is- hot. when Shannon and I started dating (both 14) I was being raped and being forced to fuck other people. She didn’t know tho. My abuser watched us like a hawk. After Shannon’s mom picked her up I had a very short time to get away. I really only had two options tho. One was to hang around the barn near my parents or run to my dirt bike and fly over to ash’s house. She actually walked over to Ash;s and told her mom my mom wanted me back home. At the time a beating latter that night was better than sex right after she had to go home. I Haven’t had many relationships so I dk what to say about her history with them. I do know that if there is something there it will work out. One of my relationships failed because I never wanted it in the first place. She pressured me into saying I’d be her boyfriend. I liked her as a friend… that’s should been where it stayed. But she asked and asked and asked and finally I just said ok. Then we started doing what couples do. Kissing, holing hands.. Even sex. We were doing good till we started having sex. I’m not going to say I didn’t care about her. Cus I did like her. She is a sweet girl. My next one was just a sex relationship. Now that Ex is fucking nuts! If I hadn’t had to move when I was 15 Shannon probably wouldn’t have broke up with me. We’ll just skip a few years to after Katrina… We moved back- got back with Shannon and still with Shannon. Shannon is now my fiancée and after we graduate college were going to get married. I’ll be really honest - Shannon has to put up with a hell of a lot of emotion shit whit me. She’s had to learn when to step back and give me my space, when I say we need to go - WE need to GO… She deals with my moody episodes. She knows that I go from all go to al no - and it can be in a matter of seconds. What I mean is I have issues with sex stuff. I either want it or I can’t stand it. It takes a long time for some one that’s been hurt to realized the other person don’t want to hurt them. Over 3 plus years I’ve seen , and Shannon has proved to me, that she cares. I don’t like the word Love. I use it very rarely. (unless it’s something like I love fruit roll ups) You Can’t tell me you love me or that you care - I have to be shown and it must be proved more than a few times. I think it does have to do with trust issues or something I dk - I’ve never went into that discussion with my nut doctor. Go on and ask her out and if she said not now. Give her some time and be her friend first and it could move into something more.

Go ahead and ask her just be mindful and respectful of her feeling and desires.

What a great post, CR!

CR, I just read your post, and it inspired me to just go straight out and ask tomorrow.I kind of brought up today, how I'm starting to like her more, and she said she was thinking about what I told her. But I suppose tomorrow, I'll try asking her out, and if she says not yet, then I'll just wait.

good luckhope she says yes

Well, we talked earlier on the phone. She said she doesn't want to go out just yet. She said it's not that she doesn't like me, but it's the fact she just got out of a relationship. Which I understand.

Now, she said that eventually she'll be ready, but until then she wants to try and be friends. Which is okay, except for this has happened before, and when I'd finally ask, they would claim I was too good of a friend. How could I avoid this happening?

Keep it intimate. When you're talking to her, push her hair back etc. Just take what you would do with/to her if you were going out, and if you were her friend and then just find a mean path. Some more intimate lustful actions, some more playful ones.

i dk how you can avoid it. but if it's not tried it will never happen. She is not the other girl so you don't knwo untill it happends if it does. i've never understood why girls do that really... shannon was my firend before my girlfriend. on a side note - i did TRY to date a long time firend. we grew up togeahter - she lived nextdoor. Ash and I lasted just a week and then she cheated on me. claimed we were more like siblings and she couldn;t do it. took me some time but i did forgive her and we are still friends. sometimes close firends stay around longer than girlfriends - that's a thoguht.

idk i dont have that much experience with girls, seing as im a young teen but i would assume that asking her out sooner would be a good way to avoid the friend thing. P.S. not sure if u care anymore its been a long time since u posted