Hey :), i recently broke up with my boyfriend just over a month ago and i've been feeling a lot more relaxed as i haven't been worrying about the downfall of our relationship, and i'm happy we're friends, infact i haven't been this happy in 2 years, and people have noticed commenting on how much more confident i am and how well i look etc.But I have never considered myself a flirt and i hate being rude to people but lately guys who i have been really good friends with, as well as guys i don't even know that well have started to 'move in' on me, apparently even when i was still with my boyfriend (i found all of this out when i was talking to my guy best mate last night), apparently all of them are too shy that i'll turn them down but how do i stop them from asking me out in the first place without hurting them?I'm really not ready to date anyone else yet, so my bestie said whenever they talk about making a move on me he'll say it's not a good idea, but i think he'll be harsh, i just want to know a way of doing it myself without being mean.thanks guys
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Never been happier.. but
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Hey Rocky,I think that if you trust this guy, let him tell the other guys to back off- explain that you don't want to hurt these other guys and if he loves you as a best mate would then hopefully he would understand If you really wanna do it yourself though, theres no real way except being cold to them to make them even more shy so they wont ask you, but you said you didnt wanna be rude to people or nothing so it depends on if you think being cold is rude or not. good luck!
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Hi rocky,It is good to hear that you are happy now you are not with your partner though i'm sorry to hear about your friends.I think the best thing you can do is tell the guys straight that your not interested. If they're your friends they shouldn't be trying to 'move in' on you anyway. They should know that you aren't ready for a relationship yet.You could try talking to them individually, just like a general chat but say something along the lines like you dont feel ready to be in a relationship yet with anyone and just hope they get the major hint to back off.I think thats the best way of turning them down without hurting them. Then if they do try and ask you out afterwards all you have to say is look tom, like i said before i'm just not ready. Cause then you've already said it once and you can just reinforce it if they do try to. Which wont hurt either of you as much as i don't want to go out with you, you smell funny.But also you may need to be aware of your bestie, (i assume you mean your best friend?) as i had the same thing with my girlfrined, the best friend kept trying to make a move on her aswell when we were together. In the end it was a part of why we broke up. But i think no matter who she is with he'll just keep doing in untill she's with him. So i guess what im trying to say is you need to be aware of the people closest to you cause sometimes you can overlook what they are doing. He may keep the others away like he said but by doing that makes it easy for himself to get closer to you.Hope this has helped RockyHawk
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Hey thanks for the advice guys Yeah it's cool, i can trust my bestie (lol yeah best friend) i spoke to him at a party tonight and he wants to stop them from asking me out in a painless way, and i know i can trust him as since the breakup i realised that although he loves me, it's not a love which neccesarily has to affect friendship, it's the real kind of love where he puts my happiness above his own and he really wants to see me with someone who can make me happy (which is why he at a time wanted to see my ex and I get back together.) So i do trust him with this thanks guys x
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Hi rocky,That is really good to hear that the situation is under control. I hope everything gets resolved with your other friends and your lucky to have such a close best friend. Best wishesHawk