I'm not sure if there is a better place to put this thread, but if it needs to me moved, feel free to do so, thanks.
Okay onto the question, or rather me rambling on. So I have had sex a couple of times, and although it was good, I lasted maybe 3-4mins on my first time and then less the other couple times. I kind of expected this anyway since it was first time and everything. When I think back on it as well, it was usually about a week apart between having sex, and I never had the urge to masturbate between that time, so that probably didn't help a great deal, so it all just kind of built up.
Normally when I masturbate I will last 10-20mins, and sometimes it can be anywhere from 20mins-1hr+. I also have those days where I just have a build up and 3-4mins later I'm done. Which brings me to the next part.
I want to work on self control so I'm starting the whole kegel exercises and the start and stop method, which I have done in the past while masturbating. I'm also going to make sure that I don't go days without masturbating as well so I'm not in a situation where she is ready and I have been building up for the past 5 days. Is there any other advice that anyone can give to help with self control, it would really be appreciated.
Now... I'm with a different girlfriend now and I'm not sure when/if we will have sex, but she is really eager about it. Normally guys would be happy about this yeah? Well I'm not going to say that it's not a good thing, but it's not a great thing either. She is still a virgin and I don't want to be the guy that ruins sex for her. That probably sounds stupid but thats just me. I see that as a lot of pressure, and then during a conversation one night during texting she said 'I hope sex is good or I'm going to freak'. Hah, now you could imagine how much worse this made me feel. I'm probably overthinking this, which I know I shouldn't because that just makes things worse because you end up thinking about it too much, and then when you have sex your mind is concentrated on trying not to come... I don't really want her first time to be a quick 2-5min thing. She knows that I am not a virgin as well, and I would hate for her to get the idea that I am some kind of expert on sex, and then disappoint her when we finally do have sex.
Another thing, with my ex, we would usually have a fair bit of foreplay which was good and fun, but I found that it was kind of bad for me performance wise, because I would slowly build up all this sexual tension(?) during foreplay and then when we had sex it was just, wow, and then before you know it I'm done.. Is it there anything that will help so I'm not going to be done before we start. Obviously cutting back on foreplay a bit will help, but just wondering if there is anything else.
I really hope that everyone that reads it can understand it, it is a bit long so sorry about that, and I apologise if I rambled on a bit, I tend to do that alot.
Anyway, thanks to anyone that replies and can give me any advice at all.
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