Ok so I am 19 my boyfriend is 22, we have been going out since dec 2008, so not quite a year. Anyways this is really difficult, I have MAJOR committment issues, and this is the longest time I have ever dated anyone, I can't even really call the guys before him a boyfriend because they never laster longer than 2 weeks. I've lasted a lot longer with him because I refuse to give up, even though I feel like a major weight is just pushing down on me, I almost feel claustropbic. I know he loves me, just by the way that he looks at me, and how he treats me, and any girl would be lucky to have him, he is a really great guy. A month after we had been dating he told me he loved me, I couldn't say it back. Well just recently I said it back, and it doesn't feel right. I always thought that when you met a person you really and truly loved that it would feel well I don't know, but It doesn't feel that way with him. I care about him a lot, but I just don't think I am IN love with him. He has been in afghanistan since march, he had mid tour leave in august, and came to stay with me for the 2 weeks he was here, we had fun...for the most part, and then he went back. When his tour is up he wants me to move in with him, I ABSOLUTLY CANNOT do that. And he also is kinda hinting around that he wants to get married, he never really comes out and says it, but makes little comments here and there.I just don't think I can handle this, he deserves someone who will love him back as much as he loves them. I have tried to break up with him before only because I know that I can't love him like that. I chickened out because I couldn't stand to hurt him especially while he is in afghanistan, I know it will tear him apart. I've even tried picking a fight to make him dump me, but it's like he can't even get mad at me.I need help, what do I do?
Just need some advice
If you have reached the conclusion that you two should not be together then you need to respect him by making it made known to him. The longer you lure him along, the more pain will be caused.Delivery of the matter doesn't matter, say it this way, say it like that, say it in a letter, over dinner, at his house, your house, whatever. It's the content. You don't want to be with him anymore, and you need to tell him. Don't beat around the bush by trying to make him not like you.It's not easy, it takes courage. But you owe it to him so he can find out what's really going on and let you BOTH move on to partners that suit you both better and to fall in love with them.