Hello I was wondering if anyone could help me figure some things out. For a couple a weeks now I've been thinking I may be gay or bi and im not entirely sure. A few years ago I learned that I enjoyed anal stimulation and getting enemas after a doctors visit. So I started experimenting by adminstorying enemas myself while slowly building up to toy use. I never considered myself gay or bi until a few weeks ago after a friend of mine caught me looking up toys for anal play.He let it go but it really bugged me that he knew so I asked him what he thought about it and he said it was fine. That as long as I wasn't homosexual that its not a problem. I let it go as not a problem but a couple of days later I was at his house and I noticed a link to a website. My jaw dropped when I found that it was gay porn. Later that day I questioned him about it and he played it off as a missclick.This is where the problem really started. I had always wented to be pegged by a female and never really thought about guys at all. Sure I had seen gay porn befor and masturbated to it because I find anal sex attractive but I never wanted a guy to do it. After finding out my friend had looked at it I started to wonder what it would be like with a guy. To make a long story short we ended up agreeing to have sex slow at first like mutual masturbation and oral sex and if we liked it moved on to anal. Befor it happened though I backed out. I realized I didn't want to have sex with a guy. I added it up because I had never had any sex I was looking for an outlet in anything to relive the need. A couple of days later though I became so anxious with the thought that I was gay now because I wanted to mate with another male. Its been bugging me in my head since then even though I was the one who called it off. To top it off im now starting to see males as attractive when befor I found them disgusting physically no offense to any guys.I can't stop thinking about being fucked by another dude and its really bothering me. I have always found females sexy and attractive and wanted to be with one. I still do but this guy thing is started to bug me I look at guys and wonder what it would be like and my eye for females isn't as wide anymore. I asked a few friends and a girl I once dated if they thought I was gay. All of them said no I just don't give off that vibe. The girl said I just need a female to hump my rump as she says it. I'm not sure anymore. So I guess my question is am I bi gay or straight and just curious? Any answer is apperciated and sorry for the spelling. Oh I forgot to mention im 19 and only been in straight relationships. I also dunno if this matters but since what happened I've been horny almost 24-7.
Unsure about sexuality
Im 19 stated that at the bottom of the post. I know what you mean. I'm prolly hypeing myself up but suddenly have an attraction to dudes messed with me a bit. I have no problem with being a little gay but I dun really think im cut out for bi or gay life ya know.
I get what your saying. Been thinking everything over and came to a conclusion. I wanted to have anal sex but not really with a guy. I still wanted to try it out of curuisoty so a attempted to have my friend perform the act for me. I bite off a little more than I could chew and backed out because I realised I didn't want it.But because I thought about it I stressed myself out over the whole matter. Got bad enough I had myself believing that I was homosexual when that wasn't the truth. I'm prolly still gonna worry abit but it'll prolly go away after awhile. Like you said there no harm in fantasy.Anyway thanks for your help Rad your advice and wisdom really cleared my mind.