Death from cancer.

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Hello, (this is quite a gruesome topic, so don't read if you are easily upset.)It's been about a year and a half since my last post - in brief the last one was a question about kidney cancer involving my father - who 5 weeks ago passed away from this hideous disease.( http://www.afraidtoask.com/forums/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/308804/page/1#Post308804 )---Anyway - long story short, I am here to ask if anyone else has had a friend/or family member pass away from KIDNEY FAILURE due to cancer/any other disease/cause.I have been looking around on the internet trying to find information I need but it's not proving so helpful.I'm trying to find out for my own peace of mind what happens to someone's body when it shuts down due to Renal Failure.The end was not particularly nice for my dear old dad, being far too young at only 61 - he was in quite alot of pain while passing urine, and even though he was in a comatose state, he would awake during urination, open his eyes in absolute AGONY and try to pull out his catheter - but would not speak, which was very upsetting for me and the rest of the family.I have most the understanding I need for acceptance on this subject apart from one thing which has confused me and my family since he died, (we were there at the moment of passing)Upon death, his eye's opened, and "something" (being a fluid) came from his mouth, and I don't mean a little bit of red blood, this was a brown liquid, and I am talking alot of it - if I were to approximate, I would say roughly one pint or more...and it came in waves, every 5 or so seconds apart - this was THE worst part of the whole ordeal as it made the whole thing almost into a horror movie - does anyone know what this was, and what caused it?I can only assume, a hemorrhage - was it from the lungs? the bowels? I don't know...We were there for 5 days solid until he finally died.If anyone can help me on this it would be much appreciated. If you know someone it happened to, etc.

I'm sorry to hear of your fathers passing and his suffering. The end seems particularly horrible and I'm sorry you and you r father had to go through this.

My mother died from cancer also many years ago. We're not sure where it all was except that it had overtaken her entire Liver. It was metastasized, so we don't know where it started. We were with my mother at home when she died. Fortunately it wasn't as bad as your experience.

With liver and kidney failure, I can only imagine that processing fluids from the body shuts down. Perhpas fluids accumulate and stagnate in the lungs and this is what was expelled. It's only a guess though.

I hope you and your family are doing OK.

Sorry for your loss and sorry I can't help but I have the same question as you. I've had loved ones die of renal failure and see them throw-up the brown-black stuff. I don't know what exactly it is.

I do not know anyone who died from this, but my grandma died from kidney and organ failure.She had breast cancer at one time many years back, she attacked it early on and after a double mastectomy, she beat it and went on for another 15 years or so with no signs of it.She was in her late 80s at the time of her death, her kidneys failed. She spent some time in the hospital, they gave her massive doses of diuretics, and measured all outflow of fluids.When they decided there was nothing that could be done we brought her home to die.We never told her that. She assumed they released her because she was getting better even though she felt like hell.She lived like that in a hospital bed in her front room for about 3 weeks. Every day her fluid output got worse and she got plumper and plumper from the fluids building up in her body. We had hospice helping us with her. Eventually the weight of the fluids put pressure on her heart and lungs and she couldn't breath. She was drowning and suffocating in her own fluids.She eventually died.The biggest feeling was of relief when she died. There was alot of sorrow, but mostly relief that she was not laying there in front of us suffering like that, hanging on, in pain, constant pain and struggling to breath.Myself and my mom as well as my dad have talked about it (his mother died in similar fashion in 81 from breast cancer)None of us intend to die like that. If my mom or dad is laying nearly comatose and wasting away like that with no hope of survival, I will kill them. Either of them will do the same for me.I watched it with my grandma in 81, my other grandma in 2000, my grandpa in 2003. Noone should have to go out like that, fuck that. I can take a sick dog to the vet and have it put to sleep with a shot to end its suffering, I deserve to die with atleast as much grace and compassion as I ever had for any of my dogs that got old and sick and I had put to sleep instead of forcing them to suffer with no hope of coming out OK.

You're right, it's a horrible way to die - it was a long drawn out process of a slow shutdown, which was not nice for me to watch - it seems no one seems to know the exact answer to this question I asked regarding the fluid upon death - I hope someone reads this who knows what it is...For my peace of mind, I would hate to think my dad knew what was happening in his final minutes of life...

• For his peace of mind, not mine...

I talked to someone I know who was a nurse for many years in san diego and was once my aunt. Her and I are still on good terms and talk once in a while, if I was in San Diego, Id look her up and pay her a visit, I doubt my uncle would be happy with me though.Anyways, it is her opinion, based on her experience that as the body fills with fluid it can not get rid of, that cells rupture and bleed and that nasty black brown shit is rotting blood from cellular ruptures body wide.Like I said, noone I know will ever die that way again, I refuse to let a loved one go through that, just to get out of this world, and if I am unable to off myself, I hope that anyone that cares about me will do it for me rather than let me go through that.Watching it is a traumatic experience enough, to have to go through it just to die? I think a large shot of a pain killer to take away the pain that a normal dose will not handle and kill me in a matter of minutes is a much better way to leave this shit hole world.

Sorry to hear this, life goes on, never give up