Just a couple facts to start, I'm a guy and I'm about to turn 21 next month. An issue that's been weighing down on me lately is the fact that I've never been in a relationship and I'm still a virgin. It doesn't necessarily bother me that I've never experienced these things, but when I put it into perspective and compare it to others my age I feel weird because I have a feeling of "innocence" that nobody else has. It's like I'm still a kid and I haven't experienced that aspect of being an adult.
Part of my problem is I'm fairly picky. I know what I'm looking for in a girl both looks and personality. I've met a few girls in the past that were perfect, but things just never worked out. I don't want to have to lower my standards just to experience this, I want it to be right. The girls that I've met at school and work just haven't been that great. I go to a community college, and the good girls (and guys, I'm sure) are one in a million. There aren't many girls at my work so that kind of rules that out. I feel as though when I get to the university level, there will be more of my type there, but that's not always a guarantee.
Also, I'm an extremely independent guy and I can go days without thinking about it, but when I do I feel like everything is crashing in around me. It scares me to think I'm going to be 21 and I haven't been in a relationship and I'm still a virgin.
Not to sound like a d-bag, but I consider myself to be a good looking guy, and I've known about girls who do like me, so the opportunities have been there, but either I'm not attracted to them, or their personality doesn't quite match mine. I don't want to lower my standards just to go on a date and have sex, because I know it won't mean as much and I'll only be counting the minutes until it's over.
I'm concerned that I'm going to be singing this same tune when I'm 30.
I'm so confused and lost on this whole thing, I want to get in the game but I don't know where to start without just dating someone I could care less about.
Please help,
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About to turn 21...
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There's absolutely nothing wrong with you that you're still a virgin. That you have standards and live by them is a good thing. When you meet Miss Right and decide that the time is right, she'll be thrilled that you saved it for her.You are correct that when you begin your university days you will be exposed to a large group of new girls. Keep looking. She's out there waiting for you.Congrats, by the way, on your impending birthday.
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Dude... Happy 21st!Relax... When it happens it will happen. Stop looking for it. Just enjoy yourself, your friends and just being young. DON'T SETTLE.. You'll regret it!
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I know this topic is months old, but instead of being one of the 200 people that viewed the thread and never replied, I'm going to chime in. I was a virgin until I was 21. It was funny because I actually met a great girl almost two months after my birthday. And up until and even after my 21st birthday, I felt exactly the same way you did. I am very picky with women too. And I thought that when I finally would be in a relationship, it would affect it/show/be a problem. Guess what. It wasn't any of those things. It's the biggest load of crap anyone can ever tell you. Being a virgin is nothing. And the first time you have sex is nothing too. Well, except exciting for all intensive purposes. But honestly. It's nothing to sweat. The only thing that I changed about myself to change the fact that I was still a virgin was to be more social. If I'm going to be picky, I better start meeting and talking to as many women as I can. It's a numbers game in the end. Eventually you will find one that is a good match.If you have standards, stick to them. You're a better man because of it. Also if you ever reply to this let us know how your 21st went, because mine was a blast.
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Dude, if it makes you feel any better I was in the exact same position as you when I was 21. I never went to prom because I couldn't get a date. I've been told I'm pretty attractive but the problem is I look close to a decade younger than I actually am. Lets face it most women want a guy that looks like a man who's all grown up, not someone who resembles a teenager. I'm also a "late bloomer", later than you without a doubt. I didn't make out with a girl till I was 24, didn't hold hands or cuddle with a girl till I was 25, and didn't lose my virginity till I was 26. I am soon to be 27 and while a good majority of my friends, peers are either married and/or have kids or at least are in a long term relationship and own their own home. Meanwhile I'm almost 27, have only dated 2 girls in my life (the longest relationship being only 2 months), barely lost my virginity, have no girlfriend, feel constantly lonely and still live at home due to financial reasons while suffering from major depression and severe anxiety & panic attacks. Yeah, it could be worse man, hang in there bro. You're lucky you're still relatively young and have lots of opportunities still to come your way.
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theres nothing wrong with being a late bloomer, its nice to hear that not everybody is rushing into it and popping their cherry at such a young age. I'm fed up of seeing an increasing amount of young pregnancies, teens becoming infected, and stupid young people on shows like jeremy kyle (jeremy kyle usa also) who have had sex far far too early and got themselves into trouble. people should take their time and find somebody who is right, for the right reasons and not just to have sex.this is an old original post so i hope the original poster has found what he is looking for and if not is at least happier within themselves
