How do I get my mother and girlfriend to resolve their conflicts?I'm stuck right in the center, caught between the two most important women in my life and I don't know who to side with, or who to choose over, if thats even the right thing to do. But I'm getting hit with hellfire from both. What makes it worse is that it's less of a deliberate-doing something wrong, and more of a culture-clash. And both are getting offended by each others' interpretation of their reactions. Yea, I'm not dating my mother- BUT to what degree do you NOT respect your mothers' wishes or decisions? She did birth and raise me, and all she has done and said since then has been for my better good. I live with my gf. We share the household. As for My gf, all she says and does is for my better good too. But when the two ladies meet, difference of opinion rises.How can I resolve this without my gf thinking I'm being some momma's boy who has no 'control' over his life, and subsequently over the relationship he has with her? How can I settle this without my Mom thinking I'm losing respect for Her by choosing someone, who She cant interpret as respectful, over Her?
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Mother VS Girlfriend: Round 999
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I have a strong view on this.Parents raise you, but only so you can be independent and leave the nest. Not to leave the nest and fly away is not healthy, even though some parents, who resist that part of their responsibilities, try to stop it.You are 24, approaching 25. Your mother will have to put up with your choice of girlfriend. Most mothers do, when they see they have no choice.
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I agree with Ineligible. It's your choice what you do with your life, not your mom's or anyone else's. Stand up for your thoughts and decisions with/in regards to your girlfriend, and your mom will come around. Even if she doesn't, it is, after all, a small part of why she likes you.
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I agree with both of the guys below. Your mother is going to have to accept the fact that you love your gf and they both should try to put in an extra effort to make things work.
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I've been through this shit. My wife and my mom, while friendly toward each other, never "liked" each other. (Come to find out ole mom was right but that's another story.)Above all be your own man. Make your own choices irrespective of either of them. I don't mean be indignant and rude but do what YOU think best. You can and should listen to their opinions but it's your life and finally your call. I can tell you it will never be easy but both will have to learn to respect your choices and neither should ever ask you to choose.
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thanks guys for the feedback!the steam between the two is starting to simmer - this is the first flare-up between the ladies.. i've seen the stress between my brother and sister inlaws and my mother, and I didn't want to create a similar situation where it isnt needed.. but I've been forcing (carefully and respectably) the two to approach eachother instead of using me as the middle man.. we're making progress!
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That could be used as an excuse not to take a position, which I think would be wrong. You ought to be protecting your girlfriend.