Hi Web,It sounds like a tough situation.Worrying about pregnancy is something almost every woman will have concerns about at some point but there really are so many options for birth control these days there is bound to be one for you.I know you've probably heard some horror stories about the pain of sex but usually as others have said, pain comes when you are unrelaxed and your body isn't prepared. Just remember if your vagina can dilate enough to get a baby out a penis shouldn't be much of a problem for it. BUT, don't get me wrong. The baby doesn't just slide out, it takes time to dilate and stretch. As does when you prepare for sex.When you get turned on, naturally the inside will lube itself up and the entrance will loosen and dilate. This is your bodies natural response, getting you ready for him. But when you're alone you can help yourself prepare. Like the other guy said, if you used a small dildo, lube and just take your time, physically there will be not a lot stopping you from gently opening up with the least amount of pain possible. Doing this a few times will massively reduce the amount of pain for the first time you have sex and will probably make it more enjoyable for you. Also some women do it in the bath with the dildo as this further relaxes them.I understand your concerns about using a dildo, but the best way I can advise you to look at it is, if you don't stretch it in your own time when there is no pressure and you can take things at your own pace. Then you'll be in a situation when you and your partner do want to have sex and if your entrance isn't used to being stretched then the chances are it will hurt. However this is only temporary and usually only lasts the first one or two times you have sex. After this the vagina hopefully is used to this and pain rapidly disapears.Also another option is doing a lot of foreplay before sex, a lot of lube and I'm not being funny but 3 fingers is a lot for someone who hasn't had sex before. I know some girls who 3 fingers hurt them and they lost their virginities many a year ago.STD's the best way to work with that is always make sure you're using condoms or femidoms and ask your partner to be honest about their sexual past.Heartbreak and feeling used are hard to avoid, but if you wait and take your time before you say you are ready then that should show you they're worth it if they wait around. The first time I did it we waited 6 months as it was both of our first times, definitely made it more special and we had so many other aspects to our relationship, it actually didn't distract us from the important parts.Finally back to your original thing, yes you can get addicted to sex, but if you have a strong and stable relationship before you start having sex you should be fine. Just take your time and when you do finally decide to do it talk to your partner. Explain your worries and say, if I or you feel we're getting too distracted from the other aspects of our relationship we need to talk to eachother to let the other know. Communication is the most important thing when it comes to sex.Take what you want, leave what you want. I'm not an expert, just giving my opinion. Hope it helps and just take everything at your own pace, if anyone tries to make you do something you don't want to they aren't worth it!Hawk