My roommate just found out she was pregnant, Should be about 31 days (last sex was had on New Years)..Heres the deal.. She already has a one year old whom she can just barley afford, and the father only sees him when its most convenient for him (I.e-ONCE a month)and she is also 23 years old (keep this in mind)She has always been pro-abortion/pro-choice, and wants one herself.The troubling part is that she cant get over the "abortion is murder" thing, and thinks she's a monster for doing this. But doesn't want to go with the adoption route, because she doesn't want it change her mind once she gives birth.Im also 23, and have a 1 year old, and trying to put myself in her shoes, I would have no quams about getting the abortion. Knowing fully well how incapable I would be of taking care of a new born, and would not want to raise another child who would grow up in poverty and not know a good life. she admits she cant financially, mentally, and physically handle a new baby. She also does not know the man who impregnated her, as it was a pressured one night stand.I do not know what to do or say to help comfort her, at least a little bit. I keep reassuring her of the things she's told me, but she still cant get over it.Im just looking for some words of advice I can give her in this obvious time of struggle and mental anguish.NON-JUDGMENTAL comments PLEASE.
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Please help
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Any comment that could be truthfully made would be judgemental. If you're asking for confirmation of the decision you seem to be heading to, I can't help. You asked that comments be non-judgemental, so I'll leave it at that.
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If she doesn't want to have an abortion or adopt than her only other option is to have the baby and raise it. Does she not have family that can help her? I have a cousin that was raised by our aunt (her mother and my mother's sister) and has a relationship with them both. Her mom was young and out there when she got pregnant. There are also adoption where the birth mother or parents are active in the child's life.
I'm 27 and terrified of having an unwanted child. I was on birth control and got off it 'cause I didn't like the effects. Now, I'm not on anytjing, but I'm not in a sexual relationship. considering my financially and mentally I'm not prepared for a baby, neither is my non-child rearing personality.
I would suggest that your friend speak with a older woman, with a lot of life experience...someone she can confide in and one that is going to tell her like it is. Considering her situation and mine we have to be more cautcious than the average woman when decision like abortion and adoption are not easy to make. We really cannot afford to be careless. This is not the best situation to be in.
