Delayed ejaculation

---

Hi there everyone, and thanks to anyone will help/answer me!

I'm 19 years old, uncircumised and have extra foreskin (aka, i have some kind of phymosis, but i can't tell the right condition, i have yet to be visited about it), but it has never been a problem for my sex life. Well, masturbation to be honest.

Only 3/4 months ago i had my first experience, with my gf. We are a couple from over 8 months, but we are in a long distance relationship, we can meet like once in a month, so i don't have many information.

But well, straight to the point: i'm afraid i suffer from idiosyncratic masturbation.
My question is: how can i undestand if it is true?

The question is raised by the fact that i had some hard time to have a ejaculation from my gf doings, being it oral sex or masturbation. Real hard time, in particular with oral sex.
At first it hurted a bit, but i thought that it was because of my over-sensitivity in the glans, due to my foreskin (i have NEVER pulled it back completely. Congratulations to my parents), but with time it got better, but i still have hard time in it.
I have no problem with that, not much actually (it's better than premature ej problems), but i'm afraid that with a complete intercourse it could get forse..

@Hyperversum First of all, welcome to A2A!

Delayed ejaculations are frequently the price we pay for masturbation as a teen that can turn into indiosyncratic masturbation. That is, a technique that you have found gets you off (sometimes quickly, which can become premature ejaculation, or PE). You are wise to have discovered this early.

I would suggest that you try to cut back on the masturbation and save as many ejaculations for your girlfriend as you can (I got the long distance relationship). At least change your technique so that you body gets used to something new.

The other issue is the fact that you have never retracted your foreskin completely. That is something that you probably want to accomplish. There are several threads on here about stretching your foreskin, so I'm not going to go through it again. You can easily find those threads.

One of the reasons to be able to fully retract your foreskin is to keep the smegma from building up. There is an odor to it and you might find your girlfriend reluctant to provide oral sex.

@readytogo Thanks for you answer, I will try to change technique (like.. changing hand?), but i still have to figure out if I actually have indiosyncratic masturbation. In particular i'm afraid that if accostumed to a "normal" sex-life and once able to retract my foreskin, my sensibility will be too high. It's not like that now I have pain just by touching my glans (I HAD such a pain, but i'm doing my job to make it acceptable), but i'm still afraid of it. A delayed climax is just a pain in the back for the two of us, but nothing problematic actually, while a premature ejaculation would be a problem, obviously.

About the foreskin retraction (which is the reason I first found this website ahhaahah), i'm doing streching from 2 months (and that's how i was able to desensibilize a bit my glans) and i'm seeing some results. Little results, before of the 7 or 8 of January it was a sporadic and not skillful practice, since i was afraid even by just seeing my glans, but now i'm doing it decently. Still not much, since i have to see a doctor about it. And i'm a bit afraid of getting myself a paraphymosis, since i think that my problem is the end of the foresking being particularly tight.

And for all this, i must thankful to my parents, which have never said me anything about pulling it back and all

@Hyperversum I hear your frustration with not being told earlier about the maintenance that must be done if you are not circumcised.

Don't be too hard on your mother. She may be totally unaware. And if you dad is circumcised, he may not be informed either.

I'm not at all sure about idiosyncratic masturbation. Normal masturbation is so different from normal sex anyway, it could be said that idiosyncratic masturbation is the normal state of affairs. Certainly it's very common for guys to have difficulty reaching orgasm from oral sex--I think this has a lot to do with the guy not having much control, so not getting exactly what is needed at exactly the right time. (Of course girls are in much the same situation in guy-on-top sex.)

I think mental state is important, too--sex is so much a mental thing. Anxiety can easily delay ejaculation.

@readytogo said:

@Hyperversum I hear your frustration with not being told earlier about the maintenance that must be done if you are not circumcised.

Don't be too hard on your mother. She may be totally unaware. And if you dad is circumcised, he may not be informed either.

He isn't, i do know. And well, the point is that i had an hearth&growning problem for all my last childhood and first teens, so i was visited a lot, still nobody thought about even asking me about it, if I know anything about my penis.

@Ineligible said:

I'm not at all sure about idiosyncratic masturbation. Normal masturbation is so different from normal sex anyway, it could be said that idiosyncratic masturbation is the normal state of affairs. Certainly it's very common for guys to have difficulty reaching orgasm from oral sex--I think this has a lot to do with the guy not having much control, so not getting exactly what is needed at exactly the right time. (Of course girls are in much the same situation in guy-on-top sex.)

I think mental state is important, too--sex is so much a mental thing. Anxiety can easily delay ejaculation.

I guess that anxiety did a lot in it, now that i learned more about it. Also the fact that my glans still hurt so... well, i just hope things to improve.

@Hyperversum Have some faith, they will. It will just take a little bit. It's been protected and sheathed from the elements such as air, the fabric of your underwear. My brother was uncircumcised and I asked him if his felt or feels super sensitive and he said not anymore. He said he started sleeping when he was a teen and still does today. He said that when he would get an erection while sleeping, he wouldn't feel the sensitivity as much coz he was sleeping. He said to expose the head as much as possible all the time. Like when he pee's he retracted it. he showers twice a day and says he retracts it to clean it. He also said he used to use a very mile baby shampoo and bath soap as it was a lot more milder and wouldn't irritate him as much. He said he recommends that you continue with your stretching exercises and try sitting in a hot bathing expose the head too. He said before you know it, you won't be worried about how sensitive it is...