ok, was having a really shitty night last night. if i wasn't out looking after 2 lil girls and hadn't had the help and advice from paul and another mate, i think i would have ended it all (didn't tell ya that did i paul?)
neways, i emaioled this other mate before i went to let off some steam, something i had to do to get through the evening with the girls. got back early hours of the morning (3.00am! mad time!) and checked my mail. this is what she sent me:
Feeling particularly thoughtful right now, and thinking in a whole new perspective that I have been that has been filled with thoughts of suicide and hopelessness.
If you're thinking of ending your life just think of what you may never experience.
You'll never feel the really special simple things in life like nature. Never see another beautiful sunset, never feel light summer rain upon your face, never watch the waves in their endless cycle to reach the shore. These little moments of escape from the harshness of life are things you should cherish and really live for in a way.
Another thing about suicide...we're all people that are connected to other people and we all care for each other and have people that care for us. If we make a decision to willingly leave life and leave behind others then we're willingly choosing to cause hurt and loss to those people that care for us. When I was thinking of killing myself I thought, well I'll be dead I won't have to feel the guilt or anything, but the people left behind will have to feel a lot worst things.
If you have any empathy you'll take another path, a path of learning how to cope and getting help from other people. Even if your situation seems hopeless you can at least try because you can't just pretend you never existed and neither can anyone else really.
There's so much to experience in life...do you really want the last experience before death to be one of agony and sorrow as you bleed to death, or complete despair as a rope is tightening around your neck?
Hope that's made you think a bit differently, as it has helped me for now, as i don't feel as bad as i did, so just think about it, before you do anything.
