I really dont even know what this is going to be about, i didnt even know what to put for the subject but oh well. This might be bitchy, and it might not be but i really dont care. I dont know what it is but something hit me. Kind of like one of those reality checks. The past 3 or 4 days I have been completely out of it. I go into these things where i am like zoning out and i cant think about anything else but only focusing on that one thought. It's kind of crazy, but last night i was laying in bed and i was just like whoa. The past few days i've just i guess been worried? Worried because i look at all these other people in the hallways, and all of my great friends and they all have something unique and special about them. Some of my girls are drop dead gorgeous, and some of them are so smart and so funny they put everyone in a good mood. And some of my friends have that drive to do that one special sport that will take them places. I mean i have my sport but i am kind of losing interest in it but i dunno. And then some of them already know what they want to do for a career. And then of course i look at little old me and i dont have any of those qualities. I have been so worried on what is going to happen in my life. After high school I just kind of want to leave here. Get away to a new state, meet new people and see what's out there for me. But it's kind of like, if i dont really have anything to offer then how can i start over? I dont even know what goes on in my head, and those of you reading this are probably like um yeah freak but i dont care lol. I guess it's like...i havent found my unique part of me yet? And it just worries me because i know i'm young, very young and i have my whole life ahead of me, but its just like..what if i dont ever find that special part of me that sticks out from everyone else. I mean to tell you the truth i'm just scared of life, scared of growing up and i'm scared of love. And it's like if i dont ever overcome these fears where in the world am i going to go. I guess what I am really trying to say through all of this is that i'm just scared because i dont have that thing to offer to the world. I give everything i have sometimes, but i just feel like it isnt enough. I'm just scared I won't be good enough for the world, and i'll never find those good qualities of mine. This turned out to be longer than i expected, but oh well..dont ask what this is about..sometimes you just have to speak your mind.
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I Have No Idea..
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There is a saying that goes, "Your friends know you better than you know yourself." Or something like that anyways. I guess this saying means that a friend may be able to see something in you that you can't see within yourself.Fear is pretty natural when thinking about what you have to offer when you get out into the world. I'm 17 and scared because I don't know how some things work which I feel I should know. As you get older the fear fades because you become more knowledgable and less naive.My advice is take one day at a time. As time goes by, figure out what you like doing the most, implement it, and create something you have to offer. Maybe you can even ask your friends what they think you would be good at doing. Stay confident, stay cool, and live life just chillin.
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Yeah, I have heard that friend saying before. It's just like I dunno? I mean i know my friends care and everything but..it's just like they have a lot more to offer than I do.And the whole scared thing it's just like ahh! I mean okay i'm only 15 and it's kind of like i think about what i want to do with my life and it's just like hmm? I was talking about it to a good friend last night and all I can really think of is something with kids. And just I dunno i love those kids to death, but i see a lot of people that are good with kids and just ahh. I'm getting to the point where i have to start thinking about college and i really dont want to start thinking about it because i have no idea what to do with myself and there is just a lot of fear inside me, and it's almost like each day i get more scared of what's going to happen.Thanks for your advice though, right now all I am doing is going day by day. And that thing about creating something i have to offer..blah..lol i'll try my hardest but the thing i'm most scared is that it will fail. Who knows what will happen though, God has a plan for me, I might as well follow it. But thanks for your advice
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It feels good helpin out. When I was 15, I didn't really think about college that much. I liked learning about computers, I took a class in computer networking, and found out that I liked it a bunch. So I've decided to become a network tech, which is what I do now. But it's ok to not know what you're doin even when your in college. My sister changed her major 5 times, and is now a food scientist, cuz she always liked cooking.
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I know of many people that have changed their major's in college, it's just i dont know what i see myself doing. The only thing that I think i would really like is something with kids like a 1st grade elementary teacher, or even something like a pediatrician..but then again watching little kids die would just break my heart..ahh who knows.