ok im kind of stuck right now on what to do about this guy.... heres the story.... Before the summer began, i met this guy from like an hour away at a party. we really hit it off that night and wound up hooking up. we talked to eachother EVERYDAY if not twice a day for the whole summer. i really thought we had something special. he was such a sweet guy and told me soo much nice stuff, i was amazed i finally found someone like this. i knew for sure he was going to ask me out once school started again, since we were going to be going to the same school. so, september came and we wound up hooking up alot, like everyday. but the only thing was, was that we never set any boundaries on our "relationship". so finally one day i sat down with him and asked him where this was all going, because i couldnt just keep on hooking up with him. he told me he didnt know it was just as much my decision, as it is his. he said he wanted to be friends no matter what happened. we left it off that day that we were both going to think about what to do, and get back to eachother. well, a week has past and i have not seen him or talked to him since this. i feel like he is avioding me online and i just cant believe that im losing him. i have a feeling hes going to go out with this girl he hooked up with "supposedly only once", but he told me that he doesnt like her like that, but i still think hes lieing to me. i dont know what i should do though. should i just let it go and never talk to him again? im just so heartbroken, i cant believe he would ever do this to me. he was supposed to be MY boyfriend..... please give me some advice on what i should do, i need all the help i can get thx
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What should i do??
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Um, If hooking up you mean sex, and now hes doing some other chick, then drop him, he isnt worth it.
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no not sex, just oral stuff....but i cant get over him. i want him all for myself, but at the same time i think im scared to be in a relationship, i just dont want him to be with someone else. i miss how things were over the summer, even if i never saw him that much, i still miss it.
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People change, especially during the teenage years, he doesn't sound worth it, in time you'll find someone else
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You should listen to loveline at least once. This scenerio comes up on the show ALL the time. Every time it comes up the same explaination is given... If you give a guy what he wants without even bringing him to a commitment point, he'll keep comin back taking what your giving. When the shit hits the fan though (you asking him the direction of things) he realizes he will no longer be given anything and ditches you. This is just a typical guy who uses manipulation in order to obtain what he wants without giving anything back. You would be naive to think it would have any further direction now. My advice is next time you meet a really nice guy or whatever, you don't do anything sexual THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET HIM. Any guy looking for a real relationship would be quick to realize a girl that's giving him what he wants the first time he meets her is just a slut. Whether or not you want to hear this it IS the girls job to control how far and fast things go, and I think that any sexual activity within the first month is probably too soon to expect anything to go very far.
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There are two kinds of sweet talking guys. Basically, there are the "fake" and there are the "real". The reason for the quotation marks is because each have the same personality at first glance. They're both usually sweet talkers with smooth actions. Despite similarities, there lies a major difference.The fake guys like to make someone feel good so they can get what they really want. What they really want depends on the person they're trying to charm, but most of the time it's sex.Now the real guys are sweet because they like to make others feel good. Some may tell you that being nice is it's own reward. Whatever their reason, it's almost always genuine. These types don't like to yank people around by their emotions or hurt anyone... most of the time.I once hinted to a girl I might be interested in having a relationship with her and her response was, "sweet talkers are the worst". I'll always remember that. When I asked why she basically told me what I explained and she said she'd rather have nothing to do with "sweet talkers" at all then to try and find out what kind of guy they were and have that feeling of heartbreak everytime it didn't work out with him.So, what kind of guy do you think he is?
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wow he is def the "fake" kind. i cant believe i was so blind...i waited for him aLL SUMMER!!! i had opportunities to go out with another guy but i said no, because i thought he was waiting for me. wow i was sooo stupid lol. its just so weird tho to think he was never who i thought he was, i want to break it off with him completely but i feel like im going to be missing something out of my life, i mean, i liked talking to him, i liked knowing about his life, now its gonna be weird if i dont know whats going on in his life, should i still be friends with him? uhh he makes my head hurt... but the first time i met him it was just 2nd base, i didnt blow him right away...but i can see where all u guys are coming from with ur advice, you really helped me out alot thx now i know hooking up= broken heart= badddd lol but i wish i could just warn this new girl he has about him, i dont want her to get hurt how i did.
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In reply to: should i still be friends with him? Well, I was friends with that one girl who said "sweet talkers are the worst" but we never had a relationship. I think it would be best to stay away from him since he can draw you in quite easily.You can probably warn that other girl, but chances are she won't listen. lol.Oh yeah, about liking him because he opened up to you and let you know what was happening in his life... that's part of the smooth talking. He's not the only one like that. I tend to open up to people so they can relate themselves to me. I open up to them, they open up to me, soon we're at an understanding and all good.Oh yeah, maybe you'll like someone from this thread. lol.http://www.afraidtoask.com/forums/showflat.php?Board=UBB14&Number=103497
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thx so much u guys for all ur help, i think ive learned alot from this expierence, ive grown alot, and realized you cant trust people, and cant believe everything they tell u... thx again! :grin:
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thats very sad when you cant trust aanyone but if thats the way you feel maybe some day youll become to trust a least one person who is closet to you.
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My best advice for not getting screwed over again - is try not to be so easy... At the VERY least a week... Although the longer you wait the easier it is to tell if the guy is with you for you, or to get a piece of ass.
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yes yes this is very tru....ive lived it, now ive learned it. no offense to any of the guys here, but i hate u boys lol. u make my head hurt
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Ah, the all guys are scum stage. I had to deal with that stage from someone yesterday as well. Don't worry, you'll change your mind. :wink:
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u guys i cant get over this guy, i cry over him all the time, i dont know what to do with my self anymore
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Here's an old thread I made a long time ago. Is it over the top? Maybe. But a lot of people have told me it really works.http://www.afraidtoask.com/forums/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB14&Number=98407&page=9&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1
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hey guys i havent updated in while, but guess what, i have mOre problems with this guy. ok so i havent talked to him in like a month since all this happened. we would see eachother around campus and just smile and say hi. occationally he would IM me online and be like "remember me?" i was still a little hung up on him, but it was getting easier in a way. well, i knew he was hooking up with that other girl,and i dont know the whole story, but i think she wanted a relationship and he said no. so she was all upset that she wasted 2 months on him for nothing, so they supposedly hated eachother, and her heart was broken (just like i thought it would be). so then one day he IMs me and wants to be friends again. i know i should of just said screw you and not talk to him, but i was so excited, i missed him so much. so we met up for lunch one day and then went back to his room to watch a movie. usually when we watched a movie we would always hook up, but not this time. he stayed on one side of the room and i stayed on the other. as much as i wanted to hook up i new i shouldnt. so the next day, we talk and he asks my what i thought about the other day. we both agreed that it was awkward, and missed how things used to be. he wanted to know if we just hook up again, he said he felt like we were making progress (to what? i dunno, if he says hes not into relationships, but over the summer he told me he was) to i said i didnt know, we'll see what happens. im so confused though on what to do. i know i really shouldnt start hooking up again, but i just miss him so much. no one makes me feel the way he does when im around him. but also, i think hes back together with that other girl, i think they made up somehow. im a very jealous girl, i hate knowing hes with other girls. i guess a part of me still thinks hes gonna be mine, but i know he never will. anyone have any ideas? any responses would help thx