POSSIBLY MY LAST NIGHT HERE

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My dad is beign a total dick to the dog.. he sat a mouse trap cause the dog chewed up his cell phone he dropped on the lawn... Im about go kick the trap and force it to snap.. If he gives me shit.. or the dog gets hurts before them.. im shooting him with my 12 gauge... Then im gonna turn it on myself.. Im not standing for this BS... I WILL KILL HIM... Even tho i havn't been depressed latly.. I thought i'd post this here.. THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST NIGHT... Bye Guys .. im gonna load of the 12

Hi FaBMX!! I can appreciate [believe me] just how totally frustrating dad's can be - but don't ALLOW your dad's silly behavior to CONTROL what YOU DO. Be above that. Be stronger than that. And the idea of using a gun on ANYONE - including yourself - is the ultimate in silliness. Nothing good could possibly come from that. Please - take some time out. I know I'm not the only one at ATA that really [and genuinely] cares about you. It would break my heart if you did anything so drastic as ending your life. [or shooting your dad] GREAT BIG HUGCraig!!

That stupid fuck got damn lucky the wind snapped the trap.. if it had hurt the dog.. i would have killed him.. I have never had a problem with the thought of putting a bullet in a man.. IF he be the first one i do it to.. do be it.. I wont stand for this shit.. and he says im a 'dumb shit' LOOK WHO IS FUCKING TALKING... GReat.. Now that im in another fucked up depression period.. THANKS DAD.. I wont be at your funeral.. PRICK... I was out of depression.. since i smoked weed.. Made me happy.. and i ahve been goood since.. That stupid fuck.. Im so pissed.. Fuck it.. I HATE STUPID FUCKS

He hurts the dog.. I WILL kill him

Take a deep breath, chill, and try to think about things. Let's say you did kill your dad and yourself because the dog got hurt. What's going to hurt the dog more is no one being there to take care it. I have a dog, i think my dad threw firecrackers at him once to be funny, now he's scared to death of fireworks, but I'm not going to kill anyone. It's better if I can take the dog in my room and let him chill in there for 4th of July or other firework occasions. Really, it's my dog, if I'm not around for him, no one probably is.

Sweetheart please dont do anything. I just sent you a PM but I am being completely honest and serious here. Prove to your dad that you can handle more, that you dont get down as easy and that you have more tolerance for things. I know it's hard but please..just dont do anything, talk to someone, anyone on here if you want. I'm here if you need me and I'm sure everyone else is willing to lend an ear and help you talk things out. Just please dont do anything, keep holding your head high, dont lose faith and just trust in YOURSELF that you can get through this, because I know that I believe you can get through it. I hope things get better very soon..

Your dad is an asshole he will never chance but you can. You can over come this situation. You can become a strong person because of the difficult situations you were put in. You love your dog, this shows great emotion and being able to love something so much where the thought of arm to it erks you really means something. It means you are a good person, the type of person this world needs. Don't do anything stupid, because the world cannot bear to loose such a kind and innocent heart. Don't corrupt your innocence with an act such as murder or suicide! You are important and we here at a2a care about you. Your father cares about you to, he's just mislead. Its okay for you to hate him, Its okay for you to never speak to him again once you leave your house, but it is NOT okay to physically harm him until its in self defense. Self defense that isn't provoked by you doing things purposely to get him to react either. You are almost out of your house and I can truely relate to how you feel and the situation with your father. I hate mine, at times I wish he were dead, but I am a good person and feel this world needs me and it NEEDS you too!

HE is the reason I'm depressed.. sucidal.. into alcohol and drugs.. HE IS THE MOTHER FUCKER THAT FUCKED MY LIFE UP!!! ... I had to start drinking to ease the pain of depression.. now that alcohol is low.. im doing drugs.... I can't get help... He would end up finding out.. and think lower of me.. He is already pissed at me.. cause he wanted to go on some hunting trip.. and i told him no..cause the freezer is full or some shit.. He goes its abotu getting out there... with friends... (GRRR) f.. (GRRRRRRRRR) amily.. I don't enjoy going out and shooting things when there is no need for it.. I have only hunted once since i got this 2003/2004 licenese.. and it pisses him off.. I gotta deal with him cause i need my truck.. and he is the only way it gets fixed.. and i always end up pissed off at him.. but i need the truck!! to LEAVE this fucking place.. GOD DAMNIT HE IS THE FUCKIGN REASON IM FUCKED UP SO BAD!!! CAUSE IM ALWAYS THE FUCKING IDIOT.. THE DUMB SHIT!! THAT WORTHLESS PRICK ... HE fucked his son up.. HE DID... DAMNIT.. IM typing so hard... they my keyboard is bowing under the presure.. I have always figured the depression sucidalness and shit was me.. FUCKED UP ME.. IT ISNT!!!! ITS HIM... I think he realized at dinenr he was a stupid fuck.. cause he didn't say to much.. and then he left.. to get gas or some shit... He was talkign about gettign rid of the dog now.. He does.. IM GONE.. Im either leaving or killing myself.. More and more i consider MAKING my parents sign the papers at 17 so i can go into the military.. and be gone... Im only 15 now.. so i got a while... IT JUST PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.. I like to hunt.. just without him.. I DO ( even tho i dont tell him this ) just like to get out with F R I E N D S... but thats about it.. He is jsut so serious... I think im calmed down now... He is gone.. so im happy.. that prick

Thanks guy.. For putting up with me.. Even tho you probably don't want to ... But, Thank you :smile:

MY dad doesn't understand that i want to be with friends and not him either. The whole time i am with him its just lecture after lecture and he wonders why I don't like spending time with him. Then he just thinks i hate every thing but the only thing i hate is him. I do feel that my dad has ruined some hobbies like fishing and stuff because when i do them i think of him and I don't want to do them n e more.I do have to say one thing though that you may not agree with. He might have influenced your life but it is not his fault for the way your life is. Yes he may have influences your depression but you have the power to over come it. You let yourself accept the horrible situation you are in. You have to realize that your life is up to you. Read the post by Helmsman labeled "In Control." This is a concept you must understand if you ever want to overcome your depression and get on with your life. You have 2 years before you done with this evil bastard. You can put up with him till then. Although its difficult you must try. Just try to take all the energy you put into hating him and talking about hating him into something more productive and beneficial for your life.

You can post these types of threads every night if you have to. We are glad to read them and help in anyway possible.

ah, FaBMX. Try not to think of yourself as being fucked up. My dad does a lot of the same things. He wants me to go hunting, I tell him no because I don't want to kill any deer or other animals. He used to yell at me for being lazy and sleeping all the time, and later we find out I had a disease that caused it. I think you're dad doesn't mean to do these things, it's just he doesn't know. Hang in there, you'll be ok. Try to tell yourself you'll be ok and if you can do that, then you will be ok.

it seems you have a sort of a fan club FaBMX. :smile:

I'd like to retract one thing.. I didn't start drugs cause of depression.. so it helps.. thats not the orginal thing that made me want to..... If i 'bear' with him long enough to get my truck up and going.. I can start going out more.. and get a job.. so that im hardly ever around.. I will be goign for my drivers license test in a few weeks.. So thats good.. Luckly i have somewhat salvages hunting and fishing and stuff like that.. cause my friend does it.. and we go out and have a blast.. Might loose a few lures beign dumbasses .. might never shoot at a single thing .. but we still have a great time.. But with him.. GRRRR... Ok.. I need a smoke.. Talk to you all later..

welp, having a good time is what counts. laughing can be quite therapeutic as well.

I feel alot better now.. I talk to my friend for a while.. Thanks again guys :smile:

Anytime FaBMX. :smile:

It just pissed me off so much.. I hate when people are intenionally(SP?) cruel to animals just to teach them lessons or whatever.. I almost got my ass kicked by this couple.. cause i told this guys wife.. ( she was hurting it ) If you would fucking do that it would listen. She did'nt like it.. and her husband chases me throgu a park lot ( they were in a mini van.. i was on my BMX bike.. ) It just pisses me off.. Even tho im a hunter.. I don't want them in anyway to suffer.. If i'm unsure of the shot.. I WONT TAKE IT.. i have refused tons of shots for that very reason...

Cruelity towards animals it just wrong. This one time I was walking home and I saw this guy screaming at the dog throughing it out of the house. It was behind some bushes so i couldn't see what exactly was going on but my heart sunk and I felt so horrible. I wanted to call the police or something. Why have an animal if you are not going to care for and love it?

WOW.. I feel fucked now.. My sister basicly broke down tonight in front of me and my mom..and said she wanted to kill herself.. Nosey me.. listened in while my mom and sister were talking ( she is 12 ) .. and she said her only reason for living is her at and mom... and that basicly.. I'm just like my father... and she hates dad.. and this and that... I'm 'part of the problem' .. This is great.. My dad doesn't like me.. now my sister dosn't like me.. My mom just tolerates me i think.. Most of my other family dosn't like me.. This is great... I'm the reason the family has problems.. sigh ... I dont get good grades.. I get in trouble.. I do stupid shit.. I fail tests.. I barly make it through school.. Yeah.. I see why they have a problem with me.. Oh well.. Hopefully some weed tomorrow will make it all better.. Sadly.. I need drugs to stay happy.. How do i know some sense into my mom.. and MAKE her get my sister help.. She isn't going through this shit.. She dosn't deserve it... She gets good grades and shit.. I need to MAKE my mom some how get her help.. I dont give a fuck if i get help.. I can die.. and wont dent to much but her.. She has a future life.. college.. then some high payign career... I dont.. How can i get my mom to get her help... None of this bullshit of just talking to her.. I don't want her to solve her depression problems like how i attempt to.. with alcohol and drugs... and shit.. I dont care about me.. I can die.. SHE CANT... Give me some ideas...