ok now i know the admin people will know who i am but others wouldnt so here is go
im really consdiering dying i am so drainned nothing is good anymore i cant ever be happy no matter what i do.
I cant live like this anymore i just cant i want to fade away and end it all now. I tried to write it in poems like i did when i was a child but i just cant a life of verbal mental and physical abuse and all the rest of what has happend , the thoughts of my demons will not leave my head. ive seen counsellors ive taken prozac and stuff like that im fine when taking the pills but its only a tempary cover up and i dont think this time my demons are going to go away. Im a sad lonley bitch who is just one big joke to everyone if im loud people dont like me becouse im too up front if im normal and quite people go funny with me and say im moody when im just trying to be myself I CANT DO IT ANYMORE. i cant get the balance of being normal or myself or whatever other people exspect and want me to be I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. its killing me in side i cant sleep i can get motivated in doing anything i feel like my whole world is falling crashing all around me. I really cant COPE anymore and want to end it ive even gone far enough to think of how i can do it (not gonna go into detail nowabout iT) i DONT know why im writting all this i just needed too sorry .
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Lost and lonley and wanting to fade away
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Yeah I do know who you are. I'm sorry you feel this way. It's hard for someone like me to associate or understand people going through depression unless you've been through it yourself. I really hope you can work things out.
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I know how hard it is to find a reason to get up. You shouldn't worry what people say. You need to do things that feel right to you. If your personality isn't liked by people its ok. There are people that will except you for who you are they are just a little harder to find. I know how hard it is when you loose a way to relieve some of it. There are other ways that just take time to find.If you ever want someone to talk to you can send me a private messege.
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if your listening im going to do some quessing i might be wrong on some parts but im not perfect.1. your between 16 and 252. part of you likes the feeling of being depressed at times you use it as a drug to feel somthing3. you always feel alone and isolated but when your around a few people you go off by your selfagain just guesses i say this becouse im 24 and for 8 years i felt this way and i miss it. but i look at it this way now whats the worst that can hapen in my life be alone,homless,starving to death- now im not any of those things yes some times alone but when you think of all the s.#* that lets you think and move and be thats specal no mater what. the mathmatical combonatins that make you posible are stagering, every reletive you ever have had has been good looking enough to find a mate and create an offspring now maby i will be the end of that linege but who gives a F*^& . if theres one thing ive learned and the point im trying to make is feeling pain for the rest of life would be better than never being able to feel anything again. and fading away is way to cliché just live life and accept that at 70 your dreems could come true (love in the time of cholora-marqueze) why not seenot aloneJeff Sherman
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In reply to:i cant get the balance of being normal or myself or whatever other people exspect and want me to beWe're often taught to be what people expect, but I don't think that's right. Let go of trying to please others - it doesn't work, and just brings you down.