Help me please

---

My lil box is closing all around me i feel ill again i feel fucked up... i doubt i will do anything bad again but its the same as last week i feel shit im horrible i hate myself so fucking much im a daft fucking fat bitch for fuck sake someone help me the hates getting too much please
im on my own till late and im scared of what i could do if it gets to much i cant think straight im confused and fucked up help me please some1

Alright. Here's a little secret I have yet to tell anyone, but it seems like you need this.Lay down and close your eyes. Clear your head of everything. The only thing that matters is the voice. At that moment nothing exists except for you and someone that makes you happy. They're holding your hand right now. You are the only 2 that exists. You feel comfortable and safe. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold your breath for a second, and exhale with your mouth. Lie there for a second and open your eyes. Know that the world is simple, not complex. You are in control.

I CANT I TRIED IT JUST THEN I WAKE AND MY WORLD IS CRASHING AROUND ME FUCK IT COULD BE MY NEW MEDS IM ON DOING THIS

Close your eyes and do it again, but this time just keep your eyes closed. Chill there for a while.

In reply to: Clear your head of everything. it's hard to clear a mind that want let you forget..Fluffy, do what i do. got to your computer, i'm guessing you are since ur posting, pull up ur email and start typing all your feelings and thoughts onto it. send it to diver, or don't. Just put his address in and start typing....... he's got many from me and he's got even more i never sent. the thing is it keeps me from harming myself, yeah i'm crying my eyes out but still i'm not in my bath room hurting myself. anything is worth a try

that a really goood idea. don't know what else to say, juat that i care for you and am here if you wanna chat at all, just don't give up Lotsa love, Becky hugs

you know my mail box is always open, I may not know what to say, but if it makes you feel better having someone just reading it, then go for it.essamb.diver@virgin.net

When ever I get upset I e-mail my best friend (he doesn't live near me) and afterwards I always feel so much better. It's nice to know that someone is listening or that someone cares. He often responds, even with little notes like: "hang in there I love you" and stuff like that and it makes all the differnce. You can get through this if you belive in yourself.xoxoxoxox~MJ

Yeah. The thing I was talking about doing works really well except there has to be 2 people present in the room. Preferably, one laying down and the other laying or sitting next to them talking to them. I've never told anyone to do it when they were by themself, but I thought it would be worth a try.

I do that alot, it's alful. i just zone out and start talking about crap and she sits there, oe lies there, listing. she moves my hait out of my face or she just holds my hand as i just talk away.... i don't know what she see;'s in me. or y she wants a messed up bf. still there are things i can't talk to her about. i don't remeber who said it ^ but i know how it is to have your best friend live so far away. Ash grew up with me and i still call her my bf, but reality is we aren't as close as we were as kids...were still close though adn i talk to her when ever i get the chance too. (mainly threw email some threw messanger, lol my other best friend isn't even my age nore does he live in the us. besides these too friends and my gf the only other person i feel i can talk too is my brother, and i'm getting better at talking with my parents. It's just somethings are just to hard to say to ur parents ok, i'm done rambling now

Your girlfriend probably sees a very thougtful person that deserves better than what he's got. It's good that you have a girl that will sit there and listen. People who listen are the ones who make the best therapists. That's what they do.What you described as your relationship with your girlfriend is something similar to what I have with my best friend. She usually talks about her problems and tells me what's going on while I sit there and listen to what she has to say. Very seldom do I make remarks. I've learned that she's the kind of person that wants to vent and not get any constructive criticism. Rather I just tell her that people care about her and if she ever needs me I'm there to listen. I don't think of her as someone that's messed up, just someone that has things they need to deal with in their life. I'm sure your girlfriend thinks the same way.

mandude, i really don't know how to reply to that....but i do see what your saying. She probly does see things that way.

good to know you've been enlightened about your relationship. Communication is very important and it seems like you're very good at doing so.

i think i was very over tired last nite when i did it again like wb said i feel asleep lol

lol. It helps to put you to sleep to. I was hoping that would happen.A guy doing that for a girl can get him laid pretty quick too. At the end of it, just say now open your eyes and look at me. How do you feel? Wouldn't be surprised if the girl grabs you and goes for it. Why? I think it's because afterwards they come to a realization that they're comfortable and safe with you.

pull up ur email and start typing all your feelings and thoughts onto it. HUGS. hang in there , we are all here for you. if you need to you can PM me.