I need help

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i'm dealing with a lot of issues that happened in my life all at once. I just got dumped because I am going to school 3000 miles away from home (I'm in college). I don't eat anything of substance for the past week with the exception of 2 small meals. I'm only drinking vitamin fortified water and a multi-vitamin. I started thinking about the differen methods of mutilation and after a year of not cutting I did. I don't want to commit suicide but I wish I was killed. I sleep either too much or very little and I cry while in class or working. Does anyone have any ideas of at least getting my body to feel hungry. I know I should be eating but my brain doesn't want to eat and my stomach only wins every couple of months and a slice of pie fills me up. I know how to keep from cutting but I'm scared that when I go back home in a week I won't be able to prevent myself. Part of the reason I don't cut as often while at school because I don't have access to my tool of choice. When I go home I will and I will be left home a lot.

You must be seriously malnourished by now. I don't know about affordability, but the right thing to do would be to check yourself into a hospital or clinic to get proper treatment, both for the malnutrition and for the depression that is causing it. When the depression is treated your eating patterns should get back to normal, so at the very least, please see a doctor.

I don't recomdent it, but pot will do the trick if you really need to eat. They use it on cancer patients for the same thing.

Yeah I'm not into drugs. My hate for smoke keeps me from doing some of them and my need for all my brain cells keeps me from doing the rest. Checking myself into a place wouldn't work either cause I have so much school work I need to do and then I go home for a couple weeks.

How do you not eat? Doesen't you body feel like shit?

The only thing telling me I should eat is my stomach a couple times a day and the knowledge that I'm supposed to. My appetite comes and goes with how depressed I am. I really just don't feel or want to eat.

Have you seen a doctor about meds?

wellbutrin and i've been on and off various antidepressants for the past 5 years and clinically depressed for the past decade. So the depressants aren't exactly going to make me magically better or bring back my appetite.

Maybe you should force yourself to eat something. i think that eating will help with your mood as well. ever notice how full people always seem to be in a highten state? try it, even if it's just a little, that's a start.

I really need help now. I started cutting again yesterday. I got all happy that I did it and felt good. But I know i'm not supposed to and a part of me doesn't want to do it. So I'm in this turmoil to figure out if I'll do it. Not to mention I'm so exhausted because I get 5 hours of sleep or less a day and my body just feels like its going to crash. I go from being ok with my lifes current situation and being heart broken to all out tears and misery. It's hard for me to reach out to someone that goes to my school. I have no where but here for help. Everyone that knows me says I'm a strong person...I really am not that strong. I'm just getting tired of dealing with everything and don't see the reason why I'm waking up in the morning.

You're right your body is going to crash at some point if you don't eat? How much water do you intake a day?

32 oz of water a day... I do eat occasionally...very little amount of food. But I do eat.

You really need to eat more no matter what it takes! I really feel sorry for you!

If you have to go to the hospital and miss some classes, you can surely get a doctor's note for making up incompletes, can't you? A cousin of mine dealt with anorexia and depression a couple of years ago. She ended up in the hospital because she was so sick. But she started getting treatment and seeing a therapist. I just saw her last month and she looks great! She's graduated, she has a good job and minus the boyfriend problems, she's doing much better! If you need to go to the hospital, then do it. Forget about school right now and worry about getting better, because if you are not feeling well, you won't be able to do well in school anyway.Also, maybe you can try some slim fast or shakes or something? Any carbs that you can manage to get into your system will be good, but the best thing is to see a doctor right away! At least call and talk to a nurse...do something! Not eating is serious. You really need to get some help with your struggles.

Please don’t ever feel guilty for you depression. I took some meds a while ago. My doc said that the meds didn’t work because the situation wasn’t chemical, but rather, situational. He meant that there was a real life issue that was dragging me down. I think I agree mostly. I’m in a hole right now but it has more to do with my situation than my chemistry.Cut, if you must. But don’t kill yourself!