How do you say goodbye?

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I am almost at a point of either saying Goodbye or just letting things play out...I am past confused, angry and hurt. All I feel is numbness, I feel underappreciated, and quite taken advantage of. To go out of my way and help my guy out sooo much then he just up and disappears on me..AGAIN! Seems he can't handle closeness. A pattern is forming and my heart just can't take this much longer! Well, today I just felt something 'change' in me. I feel no urge to contact him, talk to him or even hear from him. I am here for his convienance, that is how he made me feel. I can't say no because of the types of problems he has sometimes and really needs me. AM I dumb or what? He constantely tells me all is fine and I do tell him that I do not play games and if he wants it to be over, just say so. He keeps on coming back. So he is just going through something AGAIN? Do I wait him out? Any suggestion??? Just so f'ing frustrating right now. I won't do anything before the holidays.Thanks!

"the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

whatever is going on, the bottom line is you feel underappreciated and taken advantage of. you feel you are there for his convenience. listen to yourself. move on, and don't worry about the holidays. why should you ruin yours just to "be nice" to him??

he's messing with your head and heart because you have let him. we've all done that, and gotten quite wounded. you can stop, it's very simple. grab tight hold of your current feelings, your current disinterest in him. move on!

stop putting his feelings and needs ahead of yours. don't lose yourself and the respect and love you deserve, and don't waste another minute of your precious life on someone who doesn't treat you well.

there are PLENTY of good guys out there dying for the chance to treat you right. you just have to open your eyes.

yes, time to move on

You both are so right. I just wish it didn't hurt so F'ing much!
I have invested so much time and effort into this guy. He is quite open and honest in the past, but in the last few months he hasn't been himself. He even told me that. I told him I'd never let him down as he has just been let down all this life. I was and still I guess am his rock? He shows glimmers of his oldself once in a while, but I'm not sure now and I'm confused too. Can somebody actually DO a 180 and really NOT be nice person after knowing them for so long, going through so much, sharing and being close? Maybe he felt too close to me, got scared and stuff, I don't know.

I know in my mind you guys are right, but my heart, body and soul feels the opposite. Today I feel sad. I miss him so much and just want him to be happy...But who knows if he ever was? I know I make him happy, atleast I thought I did. Just confused

Sometimes a break lets you see things clearly from a distance. Often we are too involved in something to get an objective picture.Why the sudden change in this guy? Is something else going on?

Yeah. If you want to fully understand the situation, you need to take a break. Get a different perspective on things. Then you should know what to do.

I backed off, he has been emailing me and that is pretty much it, no calls, no IM's. I am kinda nervous about asking him or pushing him right now as he just seems to be opening up to me abit more these last few weeks. I'm trying REAL hard to just not "SAY" anything that might make him feel pressured or pushed. IT IS SO HARD though as I am pretty honest and don't hold back, so I am biting my tongue! I miss him so much, all I want to do is connect with him again, to FEEL that feeling when we talk but now is not the right time. Hurts like hell, but I guess I have to be patient still. Just hard. I am not giving up on him and he's been showing signs that things are okay with us but I just am confused about how sincere he really is. I wish I didn't doubt him but it is hard with ONline romances. I'd give anything if he'd let me call him but that won't happen for a while...Has anyone else been through this? Maybe I am just not cut out for this whole online thing period. Sucks cuz I do love and care about him really deeply.Thanks for reading.

he reminds me of my self i have a problem were its like i'll disapear for like a week from my girl cause of alot of family problems i think before letting it go you should confront him about it and let him know he can tell you anything cause maybe he has some problems thats hes to embarrsed to tell you about i know that how it was with me and i'm glad my girl confron't me and i love her and care more then ever for her

Thanks for replying acdc.He is one of these men who has to figure it all out on his own. He'll disappear for a while and ONLY then he'll come back when he's feeling better. He does talk to me and tell me some stuff, it is the 'figuring out' is when he needs his space. Doesn't help that he is a moody person in general so sometimes he just gets set off and mad at eveything and THAT i cannot help it, but I do take it personally.I really love him and just so tired of waiting and getting hurt. Just don't know what to do, walk away? More space? Confront him more? I don't know!!!! It is hard, never been in this situation before either.

i think you should confron't and let him know you want to help him figure things out

Just wish I didn't feel so insecure about the whole friendship thing,but yes I have been slowly building up to that..Well, one email said, What is really going on here? Just tell me the truth as you see it, do not play a game with me.IF this is a game in any way, he will NEVER hear a word from me again...But I can't see him doing that to me, not after all this time and how we feel. Just feeling sad and I miss him like crazy!!

Wow he just totally surprised me, sending me a long email. I am feeling really good right now and Im happy! I think this 2005 is going tobe a better year and i really hope this works out. Thanks for all your help everyone. If things go south I'm sure I'll be back! nah, I will be back either way..I still am not going to put 100% in until I know for sure he isn't gonna up and go on me again. He is wonderful but extremely moody. Makes me wonder if he is bipolar??? Never know!!