OK, i met this girl about a month and a half ago. At first she didnt knew i liked her. Well i let her know that and she told me she has a boyfriend and lives in south africa. Her dad owns a carnival here in town and he hires a bunch of south africans to come work for him from like March till November, so half of the year they are living here and the other half back in south africa. Well She told me she likes me... but she still has a boyfriend in south africa that she likes aswellWe do stuff together ALL the time. The last week weve spent most of the day with each other. Weve laughed, went out places, had serious conversations, watched movies and snuggled up together in my bed, etc.... We act like we are a couple. We exchanged presents on christmas. The other night she apologized too me, and told me that she doesnt want to hurt me, becuase when her boyfriend comes back we will hardly see each other. Well i want advice on what to do. Im getting attached and i even cry just thinking about her and whats going to happen when her boyfriend comes. I know it sounds childish but it really hurts. i like spending time together and doing things that a couple does.. but if we stop now.. i will be extremely sad and lonely. But if i dont im afraid things might get too far that when her boyfriend comes back i wont be able to handle it. The thing is i think to myself.. "ok we'll just continue doing this and maybe hopefully her and her boyfriend will get into an argument and break up" but from what she says they got along so good, except shes told me hes not sweet at all and that she does all this stuff for him and he doesnt do anything for her special... Im the kind of guy that is a hopeless romantic i will go out of my way to make someones day a little better. The reason im needing help from you guys is becuase usually id figure out what to do myself.. but with her its different. I know ive only known her for a little while but we are so compatible she is actually the one im looking for to be my soulmate. Shes into everything that ive always wanted from a girl that i can spend the rest of my life with. She gets along with my parents GREAT, i get along with hers Great. Shes going to some culinary arts university in colorado, and ive even thought that if she was to break up with her boyfriend and we started dating officially i would actually consider moving up there to be with her, if she didnt see a problem with that. It just hurts so damn bad. Even when she leaves my house at like 4:30am int he morning after keeping each other warm all night, i wake up at 10am extremely missing her and wishing she was here with me. Shes the really clingy type girl.. the girl i like.. i like a girl i can spend ever mintue of every day with. WHAT CAN I DO OR WHAT SHOULD I SAY??I doubt her boyfriends being faithfull to her in south africa but thast not something you can say to her.
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Extremely Sad, Girl Issues!! PLEASE HELP ME
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That's a tough one.
I see two roads for you to travel:- Stick it out, and hope that she will leave him for you
- Cut contact from her and move on.
Now each has pros and cons.
If you choose 1, then you stand to get even fonder of her. If, when the time comes, she decides to stay with him, you will feel very very bad.
On the other hand, if she chooses you, all will be well (hopefully)However, if you pick 2, it will hurt for a while, but this will pass, and you'll be able to move on, but you could be potentially throwing something wonderful away.
If you ask me, the wisest choice is 2...but the realistic choice is probably 1.
You need to think long and hard, and perhaps talk to her about it...
Does she know how much you like her? And by that I mean have you told her?
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I agree here.I think you definately need to talk to her more about this too though.
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hopeless romantic VS jackassscore another one for the jackasses. damn we rule
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ask her who she likes more : you or the other guy.if you need some ideas on how to deal with that guy just give me a pm
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Ok we just talked for a an hr or so. She told me how she felt. She really likes me like i like her. But she also really LIKES her boyfrriend, and she doesnt want to throw that away. She even tells me the more i talk about stuff the more she wants to think twice about it. Right know i guess its a friend/friend relationship. She said she doesnt want to come over and snuggle anymore because it turns her on and shes afraid she'll cheat on her boyfriend which shes done in the past with old boyfriends and swore shed never do it again.
I told her im still here if she wants to think twice. But ill continue to be her friend.
Im trying to win her over with sweet comments and so far shes told me "Shut up, lol, it makes me want to think twice" so i guess thats good.But yeah im kinda sad and pissed on my part and hers that "we" had let it get this far.
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don`t overdo it or she`ll take a shit at you for doing what she said you shouldn`t. you gotta use the old thing to make him look bad in her eyes. do you know him? any details about him ? criminal record ? is he drinking ? violent ? stuff like that
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If you want her you can not push, it is not right to bash her boyfriend either. You've made your intentions known and sounds like she's been honest/upfront with you. Let her work through it and if she truly 'is the one' that you feel is a soul mate, wait a while, give it time, don't press in on her and cause confusion. If you were the one she were being loyal to be thankful that she is being strong to withhold from you.Do you follow? If you gives in to you then she can't be the one. So she likes you but if you force the issue and she makes a break and things don't go well, there will be doubts, guilt and issues that just don't need to be dealt with.Given time, and months are not to long to wait for true love, the boyfriend may screw up on his own. If not and they have a happy future together, try to find peace in your heart and love will come.
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are you a kerry supporter ?
( to the guy who created this thread ) neva mind what sammy said. keep pusing like the motto of the british SAS :" who dares wins.
In reply to:
it is not right to bash her boyfriend either
wtf ? do you help old people across the street ? do you give all your money to the poor ? no? shame on you =))
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I thought the advice was awesome.. what a way to lose a friend then bashing the person they care about..Life doesnt always roll how you think it should..all advice should be taken into consideration
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are you a kerry supporter ? Not. And political affiliation or none has no place in this discussion.
You certainly are entitled to your opinion....and you might consider the thought of being the dude in Africa, would you want to be in his shoes? Being a hard ass may get you the girl but probably not keep her around for long.
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Okay, say you take the girl....you say all the right things and you draw her like a magnet. How secure will you be? Sure you 'like' her and want her but are you going to trust her? I still say, best to let her do this without pressure, she knows where you stand, so stand there and be there. She sounds pretty cool and sweet so you definitely don't want to blow it. Hope it goes well.
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I hung out with her this evening and we talked, she let me know that she feels bad for what she had to do to me becuase she knows how much i like her. she even started crying of how sorry she was. She gave me three options basically1. Stop hanging out all together, to save my heart being broken later on.2. Still hang out as just friends and nothing moreor3. Hang out like weve been doing (Cuddling, Flirting, etcc) and me keep reminding myself that we are ONLY friends for now. She said she likes me too much to give me up even as a friend, and she really enjoys cuddling with me and flirting and tickeling. But if this is the option then she wants me to keep remembing we are ONLY friends with benefits and NOTHING more. Number 3 is kind of a wierd option (of course it would be the option i chose because i enjoy it as well) but i think the reason she enjoys it is becuase shes lonely right know not having her boyfriend. Its just kinda wierd how one minute she tells me were nothing more than friends then shes crawling all over me and laying in my arms and resting her head in my neck and then biting my ears. But then earlier this morning before we got together today she said she doesnt want us to do that anymore because she doesnt trust herself she said i "turn her on" with the things i do to her. Like last night i had her shirt up smoothly running my fingers over her lower back and on the sides and she said shes glad i stopped when i did becuase if i had done it anymore and then started making out with her she would of lost all control and i would of had her... she said shes a firm believer of NOT doing something just becuase it feels good, she only likes to do things with a person shes in love with. she said if last night if we would of done anything it would be becuase i turned her on and she wanted to do it becuase it felt good. Not trying to sound corny or anything but shes heard from people that im really good at ORAL, i even tease her by flicking my tonguering and she tells me to stop becuase she doesnt trust herself.Its just so wierd i kinda wish her boyfriend would just dissapear and shed be mine. I know she likes me more than just friends even tho she only said its just a friendship becuase NORMAL friends dont Bite each others ears or cuddle, or grab my legs to tickle me and dont let the other person do it back to them.She even said "If we make out remember its just as friends"im REALLY confused right know.I dont know what to doI think right know i could handle (if i really had to) just a play buddy, id rather be dating her... but i just like her so damn much that i would do ANYTHIGN just to be with herShe could easily have me pussy whipped....Im just so damn CONFUSEDGRRRRRRR!!!
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You're setting your self up for failure Bro! Either it's going to work the way you want it or your heart is going to get torn in three. You should have picked option 2.
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Yeah i know, but who knows maybe her and her boyfriend break up. Maybe when he comes here next summer he does something again to fuck up their relationship. she said last summer he left her at a store and drove offf in her car and never came back, all becuase she didnt want to go to a resturaunt that he picked.. She said he has NO romance in him at all. She even told me last week when we were talking about her boyfriend that he said hes changed, and if he hasnt this summer shes dumping him.The only thing is that shes going to Colorado to some culinary arts university next fall, and i want her to be mine by then. that way we can leave knowing we have each other. Im graudating college this april so who is to say there isnt any Computer related jobs in colorado.Sorry about my spelling, i have a new keyboard and its taking some time to get used to plus i try and type all my junk real fast.
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Why is she with that guy then? It makes no sense!
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By the way if you are looking for a computer job Northern California is the place to be!
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Becuase she said when hes not a dick they have fun all the time.she said shes the only guy that she feels she can act herself in front of. The term is trueNice guys finish last.
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any Networking Engineering or Network Admin jobs available.
I just need an entry level job really. Nothing too serious yet.. I only have my A+, Net+ and Linux+ i plan on going to another college to eventually get a masters.
Funny you saying NorCal, thats exactly where she said she wants to move to when she finishes college. shes becomming a pastry chef and she said She wants to live in NorCal like in San Francisco or Just up north somewhere, maybe even in las vegas. -
There are bigger and better fish in the sea, you'll be better off if you move her to the back burner for now!