ok so here it goes. i have been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now. we both love eachother a LOT. when we are together its great. the SEX is great. i recently moved so we dont get to see aechother as often. so everytime we talk on the phone i seem to pick a fight with him. and recently ive been starting fights with him for no reason or for something stupid he did and i just cant let it go. afterwards i always apologize to him for it because i realize it was stupid and there was no reason to be mad at him. well usually he forgives me and calls me crazy but yesterday i got mad at him and when i was leaving i didnt give him a kiss goodbye and he got really mad i wasnt expecting it i tried calling him but he would just say he didnt want to talk to me and hang up...he never hangs up on me!!! and today all day he didnt call me. im really sad and now im kinda scared i pushed him away. i dont want to lose him. i love him. i guess my question for you is WHY DO I FIGHT WITH HIM FOR NO REASON??? its like i cant help it. when im not mad at him we get along so great and i have to give it to him he is usually very understanding to my craziness but i guess this time he just couldnt take it anymore. and i guess it just hit me that if i dont change this relationship wont last. but i want it to last i really like him..i just dont know whats wrong with me. please help ..input ..advice??
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Problems!!!!
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HELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP
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I think you are picking fights with him cos you are insecure about your relationship now you have moved away, and lets face it moving away is stressfull anyway....I think you need to first apologise to the guy,(again), and then try your hardest to not get mad........cos if you don't you will push him away......I mean he can only take so much on the phone.....and i think him putting the phone down on your has maybe made you realise just how much you were pushing.....hope everything goes ok
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Trying to maintain a long distance relationship is tough. Alot of stress goes along with moving away. You are most likely homesick, frustrated, and insecure. Thats probably why you to pick fights with him. He will get over the fact that you didn't kiss him when he left. When he does finally talk to you, you need to make sure he knows how you feel for him, and you need to tell him that you aren't trying to push him away. The poor guy is probably confused as hell right now, lol.
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wow, I can really relate to that. I guess thats how you know when you really care about someone...not fighting with them alot neccessarily, but when the words "I don't want to lose him" run through your head. I feel a little bit better, stumbling upon your post, because I was just about to post, asking why I always have to get an attitude with my bf for absolutely no reason. After thinking a lot about it, the only thing I can come up with is this: there is most likely some underlying problems or worries that either of you may have. You know, they can be little annoyances that you decide to ignore for the sake of peace, or they can be bigger than that. Whatever it is that is REALLY bothering you inside, my advice is to dig deep, and really give yourself a second to think about it and process it. I think the reason that this happens in relationships is that we get scared of what will happen if our true feelings come to the surface. Its exactly the "I don't want to lose him" mentality that can drive us to pretend everything is fine, when it isn't. When you finally figure out what it is not resting well in your mind, you will have to talk to your boyfriend about it. If you are scared that coming out with it might lead to a breakup, think of it this way...if you continue to surppress it, there is no way the two of you will be able to work past it. If he has been able to put up with the "craziness" thus far (thank god for patient men) it sounds like he will be willing to put in the effort to get past this too, especially if he can see that the random fits of madness were out of the genuine need to keep him in your life. Hey, I found out today that scientists say "the activity in the brain when in love, is similar to the brain activity of someone who is mentally ill"...I'm going to go follow my own advice and try to repair the damages my retardation has caused. good luck!
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I had a girlfriend who did the same thing to me. I called her everynight and everytime I called her I got less enthusiastic to call her. Long story short, she broke up with me for a stupid reason. 6 hours later she was at my house crying for me to take her back and that she would change and she was only like that because her exes was unloyal and blah blah blah. After an hour of tears and explanation from her, I was still unconvinced and was happy about not taking her back. This girl was and still is the most jealous person I know of.So, my advice is learn from your mistake and move on.
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Whether the bf takes her back and forgives is her is up to him...but regardless of what he does, she should still talk it out with him. It would be actually kinda immature to just leave things the way they are, with no explanation or apology. It could save him a lot of confusion...and for her, a lot of regret
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I think you fight with him because you don't want to lose him but picking fights with him will do just that!!! Be careful!!!