This is more of a personal rant that i need to get off my chest... Sorry for the lenth...Things had been going so well, For the first time in years i was smiling, Really smiling, not just forcing it to make others feel better.I was out, being social, i was back in school. Fuck i have friends now.I was beginning to understand how people could love life as much as they do.But now i just don't know, i am back to sitting in my room with killswitch engage, and korn, and other music blasting. and making myself sad.I am so sick of being alone, Of feeling alone in a group of good friends,I am sick of being downtown with friends having a great time and then having thoughts of throwing myself in front of a car.I just want to know what true happiness is...I want someone to love me as much as i love them. (I just ended a 4 month relationship because of that)I just want to be happy, I want to go 1 day without a suicidal thought...If you need to reply, please don't be cliche with the "it is ok" or "It will get better"...Oh, and thanks for letting me bitch.
I thought i left this world behind...
I get what you mean. All I'm saying is listening to those music make people think too much! lol. True happiness to me is enlightment its where you feel no pain. No joy. No feelings but satisfaction....thats true happiness to me. Well life is a repitition...everyone goes the same path, does the same thing..somewhere some time...What I gotta say is..well..there is no true happiness you'll get over this phase of emotions.