hey...im real sorry if the joke offended you...and i didnt mean to...when you masturbate, you have to be used to it...just keep going with it unless it hurts or something, and for your stomach hurting...my stomach and balls hurt for like a week one time...but i dont know why...but i mean you should feel dirty for touching yourself...i mean its your body and when you take a shower do you feel dirty(you know what i mean)? I know that you may feel a little bit insecure right now about masturbating, but dont be...it is real fun and pleasuring once you get used to it, its a learning "sport"...and again im real sorry for the "string"