It makes me so angry that I am healthy (almost--a bit overweight), and yet my foreskin keeps me from experiencing and feeling good about life. I want to talk to this girl and ask her out but I'm too shy. On top of that I don't know how to talk to a girl and what the hell they like to talk about. And then there is my physical self image...which sucks--I would say on a scale of 1 to 10 for looking good, I'm a 4 or 5. Others might say 7 or 8 but they don't feel the way I do. So this leads me to also having a problem with my penis, as if God couldn't try any harder to keep me from being happy. I may sound like a girl complaining about everyhting but that's how depressed I feel--sometimes at night I shed a tear or two thinking that I will never find a girl who will like me back, and then even if I did she would leave me because I wouldn't be able to pleasure her. My foreskin is tight and keeps me from retracting it...well let me explain.While flacid, I can retract it but I choose not too since the last time I did, the head turned purple towards the crown. It didn't hurt though and I easily pulled my skin forward. When erect, it's almost impossible and the head is too sensitive anyways. I will never get a circumcision for this since it physically does not bother me at all. Psychologically, it has kept me in a state of depression (not extreme, but just overall sad) for a year now --from the time I first realized that my foreskin was supposed to be retracted. My fear is that when I penetrate, my foreskin will get stuck behind the head and restrict circulation or my foreskin will tear. I had tears on my foreskin for about a month but they are gone now (thank god I can go back to my regular masturbation and not short strokes). Also, a funny thing...I did talk to the girl for about a week and we got into a conversation about relgion which somehow led her to ask me if I was circumcised. The bad part is that she stopped coming to my student aide room at the school and I think she instead comes in at a later time. (I'm 17 and go to high school where we can choose classes and since we're seniors we don't have to have full schedules) Anyways, I have never had a girlfriend and it's mostly because I know that I'm not good enough for any girls out there because of my foreskin. It really pains me to think about it.(i thought about suicide once but decided to become a billionaire cuz at least with tons of money, I'll be happy for a little while) I could have sworn she was into me for a little bit but now she ignores me. This sucks since I went on a diet, started working out, and did other stuff to get into better shape. I'm just really sad..... So yesterday I saw her in my first period art class and all she said was hi and she sat all the way on the other side of the room to talk to some other guy--at that point I was really thinking about killing myself but still held back. Why the hell must I be cursed with just about every f--king problem. I was going to ask her out that day too! So much for hyping myself up and feeling good only to later feel like shit. If my foreskin was fine I would have a higher self-esteem, more confidence, and I would have definitely asked her out right off the bat. Then there's other stuff like women preferring cut over uncut--once again, another thing that makes me unhappy with my life in general. All I want is a girl to care about me the way I care about her. That would be the only thing that would keep me alive in this lifetime. About the dieting thing...I am more like resorting to a mild form of annorexia and lots of water(not bulimia, there's no way I'd make myself puke on purpose). I just wish there was a poll made on how many men actually have phimosis...it would make me feel better. As for how much of a toll my foreskin is taking on my life...well....A LOT. I figure that there is no point to make alot of money or even finish school if I can't look forward to creating little miniatures of myself in the future. It is absolutely important to me that I have kids with my wife--that means no adoptions, all natural. I guess that will never happen....I just want to have a normal working foreskin so that I don't go "OUUUUCHHHHHHH" in the middle of having sex. And by the way, everyhting about my penis is normal, except for the foreskin problem. I just know that as soon as my girlfriend ( if i ever get one) finds out that I have a dick problem, she will bolt. p.s. My life sucks testicular cancer!
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Foreskin is making me depressed
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Chill out and get a selfesteem, jeese. What are the odds you will have sex with the first girl you go out with?
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In reply to:
I will never get a circumcision for this since it physically does not bother me at all. Psychologically, it has kept me in a state of depression
Your foreskin problem may not physically bother you hon, but it DEFINITELY bothers you, and in that, if I were you (and a man!) I would get it sorted out......
In reply to:
If my foreskin was fine I would have a higher self-esteem, more confidence, and I would have definitely asked her out right off the bat.
You say the above, but then say you won't get it sorted out! I realise the thought of having anything done to your penis would be a very very scary thing, but, you sound quite young and think of the life you have yet to live......you can't let this problem rule your life!
As for the other issues, of self esteem, being over-weight, lack of confidence etc, they are probably all connected to the foreskin issue, because you feel like you can't pleasure a girl..........oh and hon let me say, that if I liked you as a person, I wouldn't 'bolt' as you say once I found out about the foreskin thing, we would sort it out together.....and there will be a girl out there who thinks like i do *hugs*
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Hey bud, first lets calm down some. Your foreskin isn't that big of a problem here...some stretching and you'll be good to go. Take a look around on the site and you see dozens of other guys who have phimosis and remember that only a small fraction come here to talk about it. Guys usually don't share too much about their penis with others, not even on an anonymous site like ours. Your penis isn't going to ruin your life...mainly because it's only a few inches of flesh, and yours has a tiny bit of skin...the natural way. While us uncut guys are somewhat in the minority....those numbers are changing and now more and more parents are choosing not to circumcise. There's alot more going on here than your penis. Believing in yourself and gaining self confidence come from lots of different things, working out is a GREAT way to build self confidence. I'd say keep working on that and you'll begin to feel better....I know I did. You hang in there and keep in touch!
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thanks for the replies....I feel better now that I got all that stuff off my shoulders. I guess now there's no way but up. I know that I may not have sex with my first GF but she may want to see it or maybe give me a hand-job which in my case --she would probably pull back on the foreskin really hard, not knowing that mine doesn't retract and it could injure me pretty badly. I heard something about paraphimosis where the skin get's pulled back behind the head and it get's stuck there, something I fear would happen to me. And I really doubt a girl would want to talk about it...It would hurt me so much to let a girl down because of a simple problem like phimosis. I guess I'll try that stretching technique.
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YES, get to work on stretching. And here's another tip...if your foreskin gets stuck behind the head...simply apply some pressure to the head and that will slow the flow of blood, allowing the head to decrease in size a bit..then you can move the foreskin back up. Having some lotion around may help with it slipping easier (saliva works well too!) And if you g/f wants to "help you out" best thing to do is show her how you masturbate and what you like...that way she won't get too agressive! You'll be fine bud, keep in touch with us, we'll be glad to keep helping!
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Try to lighten up - what you have down there we all have, and there are many other uncircumsized guys like yourself - so you're definately not alone. What you have is perfectly natural and any decent girl will know this. Any girl worth worrying about won't care at all - so you shouldn't either.You may be worried about her stretching it, but (as previously suggested) I think you should do some of your own stretching. Honestly, before you know it you'll have stretched it enough so that it feels great to move the foreskin back/forth over the head! The foreskin stretches quite a lot.Seriously, please do not worry yourself about your foreskin. It's completely natural, as natural as the 10 fingers that we have. Have confidence in yourself, and it will show. People will have confidence then in you, and who you are.Good luck and keep us posted.
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Thanks people! I have lightened up quite a bit these past few days. I'm keeping myself motivated by working out. That way after a work out, I'll go to the shower, relax and "stretch." I'll be visiting every now and then.
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I'm circumcized so I'm not that familiar with this. I was just wondering, does this condition keep you from masturbating? Or can masturbating be combined with the stretching to make it a positive thing? I'm sure these questions must sound dumb to the uncut among us...just curious. Also wanting to give mc some hope. But I think Lance and the others are doing a good job of that.
And...if worse comes to worst (which I doubt it will) circumcision is not out of the question. A few days of minor pain and it's done with. But that's extreme. The stretching option sounds better. Keep us posted.
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It only keeps me from having sex. I can still maturbate.The thing about the foreskin is that durring insertion, it is supposed to retract smoothly, allowing the penis to enter the vagina in a smooth manner. Since my foreskin is slightly tight, it keeps itself from retracting and therefore causing a sort of pinch on you "area". This would keep you from going in and out durring sex. As of now, if I put a condom on, I'm pretty sure everyhting would work out great, but I'm also sure that my GF would wonder why I didn't retract my foreskin.
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Actually masturbating once things are stretched and the foreskin moves easily up and down on the shaft is no problem at all, quite enjoyable (as is yours) I'm sure! And stretching can be helped by masturbation, especially since being erect is part of it..sometimes the opening of the foreskin is just a bit tight and needs to be stretched more so that it will slip easily over the head while erect.
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YO DUDE!!!! I have excatly the same problem as you totally! You even nailed it down to the girl and asking her out etc, Well i like this girl a lot and i have know her for a few years now, im 17 and always think o fasking her out. But because we joke about it over the phone and she says in my dreams and stuff like that it makes me.. Well it makes me just leave it. So i try to get her out of my mind but whenever i see her, i feel like she is meant for me. But hey! im on the prowl for someone i can truly love. Now im 17 also and have been doing the strecthing excersise because im am pertrified of ripping my foreskin. Does the stretching have to be done when flaccid or errect?A good way to chat up the girl you want i find is to play on your weakneses. I joke about my "manboobs" to the girls and they love it :P, it lowes my self esteem but in the end i see the funny side to my own joke lol. Just keep stretching and hopefully youll be finished by the time i am! then well be ready to please all the ladies :smile: good luck
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It's better when erect.
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Holy Crap!!!!! Thx4thehelp, I think you are my long lost twin!!!!LOL ---Trying to get a girl, having foreskin problem, and being 17---sounds just like me!!!wait, it IS!!I keep getting so close to asking her out but I never do....I think I'm just afraid of letting her down in the future. She is so unbelieveably atractive it's driving me crazy. I still can't believe she doesnt have a boyfriend. And yes, I have man-boobs too, and they are really lowering my self-esteem. I've been working out like crazy and I've been going on a "eat once a day diet" for some fast results. Yeah, so I hope you get your girl....and I hope I get mine too. (I've never had a girlfriend before).There is still one more problem...I never know what to talk about with her. Today we talked about pet mice and pot-belly pigs and she kept hasseling me (for fun) cuz I don't like salads. Then about 30 minutes of that, the talking stopped and she just left the room. I wish I were like Chandler from "Friends" so I could be good at breaking the ice durring awkward moments or throwing out that one sarcastic joke to get a converstaion started...By the way, I have the WORST CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS ON THE PLANET. I have been working on them, and so far I'm am getting better at talking to girls--and by girls I mean the drop-dead gorgeous ones...like the one I'm trying to hook up with. If I screw this up and I don't even ask her out, I will never forgive myself...she is so sweet, and intelligent, and I could go on and on...But I still don't see what she see's in me...I really dont...I personally don't think I'm that attractive to women, I only know tons of trivia but mostly a c-student in school, and then there's just little stuff I hate about myself. So I'm seeing her tomorrow in my 1st period class, but I guess I'll just do what I always do...collapse under the pressure and not talk to her. There's added pressure when there are other kids around, I feel better when it's just us. (She's in my first period b-day--we are both student aides so we hang out all the time) Sorry for going back and forth off topic...I just want to relieve some stress.
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Talking about things is the best "medicine" keep talking through this one bud, we'll keep listening and help as we can. Just keep talking to this girl, its great practice and as long as she's talking back and staying with you that way, its all good right now, no need to pressure things.
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I can speak from experience when I say - just go for it. Just ask her out. There's no time like the present, and you don't want to miss out on the chance to do so. She doesn't have a guy now - but what would you do if you could look into the future and see that she picks up a guy in one week? You'd get out there and ask her tomorrow, right?I waited like you for a better time to ask, but a better time never comes - if you really feel for her and you really want to ask - then that's the best time!Your conversational problem may come about from your low confidence, but I'm by no means a doctor. All I can say is lighten up and be confident - because you've no reason not to be confident. Don't look for "..what she sees in you.." - we're usually very self critical, and the things that you may see as just normal, she may see as very special in a guy. Like honesty. You seem like an honest guy, now to you that's just normal, but to her - she probably values it in a guy. Don't ask yourself what she sees in you. If you both get on well together, she obviously has fun with you, let her decide what she sees in you! BTW I like your taste in cars!
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I think I'll take that advice. I had a dream last night where I was at a mall, and I was looking for her, and I saw her. She kept walking away from me and I tried to keep up. Then, just before she left the building, I caught up with her only to see her hugging this other guy as they both walked out. I have been thinking about this dream for the past hour or so.....I'm back to my depressed self. I will try really hard to raise my spirits today and tonight. I think I'll ask her out tomorrow in my B-day class. I just wish I wasn't so freakin' petrified about doing this cuz I know that if she says no, then I'll be spending the rest of the year with her in the student aide room, and things will feel weird. If I could be sure that things wouldn't be weird afterwards between the two of us then I would surely do it. I guess I whine too much about this but the rejection would definitely hurt me....it would be yet another thing in my life that sucks. Damn dream! It just screwed up everything for me. Oh and did I mention that I don't have a car. Next thing I know, I'll be found to have some form of incurable cancer. I'm thinking that there is something wrong with my brain. I might need to take some kind of anti-depressent. I say this since I keep going through an emotional roller coaster---one day I'm happy, another day I'm depressed, and the next day I'm just plain boring. I'll tell you guys tomorrow if I ask her out. (sigh....)
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I caved in AGAIN. Next time....
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Yo, dont worry about caving in! i havnt even asked my girl out yet! :P. Dude add me to msn man! serious, we can talk it over man to man. Pm me and ill hit you with my email. And a way to a girls heart i find... is through being slightly stupid :P
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I wouldn't mind you e-mailing me but I don't want others to see it in my household. Let's keep it here.I saw her today and we talked. I found out that she plays chess (I friggin flipped out, I couldn't believe it--I mean seriously, name one girl that plays chess!) and so I challenged her. I'm bringing my chessboard to school tomorrow and I'll slip in " If I win, I will treat you to dinner" and " If you win, you can do whatever you want". This way, it will be cool. I am so good at chess that I have the right to brag about it, so I'm sure there is a guarantee that I will win....but will she take the offer?This other girl was really into me last month but I kind of pushed her away since I was going for the girl I am currently wanting to date. I thought it was kind of funny cause that other girl recently hooked up with someone else and is having a physical relationship ( she's in my german class and her boyfriend sits behind her and he is constantly rubbing her back and feeling her ass--which by the way she doesn't mind at all)Next time I'll just take life as it comes. LOLWell, I brought that other girl up because I think this girl I like might be hooking up with someone else. ( where's my handgun so I can end my sufferring! --sarcasm, I have no gun)I'm noticing that my foreskin can move back about .5 cm more then before. At this rate I'll be normal within 4 months. Oh yeah, I forgot. I don't have a car nor do I have a driver's license. I guess my "take you out to dinner plan" just backfired. I guess I'll change it to "I'll pay for your dinner". Ahhhh....forget it. I give up. She's going to New York for college so she'll be gone within a few months. That's about how long it would take me before she would let me have feel her up -- just guessing though. What really makes me angry though is that she is constantly on my mind, and it's been like that for 2 weeks straight. Its hindering my homework and learning abilities at school. I just sit in my AP Stat class drawing her face. (I'm an OK artist)I guess I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how I have caved in yet again. I wish the best of luck for ya! And if you have a car..FOR GOD SAKES WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!