How screwed am I?

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For some stupid reason, I told my psychiatrist I tryed to kill myself 2 weeks ago. I stabbed the blade into my wrist, but I never pulled down, so their wasn't any evidence. Whats going to happen next? I'm prepared to run away at this point. I'm not going to a hospital. I'm prepared to kill whoever trys to make me. I seriously wont think twice. Are they going to try to do this?

Since I went, I told my mom I no longer want to see her. Then my mom started one of those bullshit talks. You know the one to try to make to feel better about your life. So, I think the psychiatrist told her. So, I no longer trust my parents, nor the psy....

So, whats going to happen? I need to know so I can prepare.
-Thanks

well, first of all if you kill your self then you loose, not win. If you live, then you will always have 'one-up-manship' on those you feel are against you.
You may need a different psy or you may need to work harder to work with the one you have.
getting through the rough spots isn't easy, hell if it was everyone would do it!

Yeah it's hard to make people understand, I've discovered this over the past year. Parents and even people who are paid to help you, still don't understand, and I think it's hard for them to see it from our perspective. But we can only do so much, I know. Cutting, self harm, is all about our way of releasing frustration and/or a way of calling for help. I'm so sorry for you. Don't do anything real bad. I can only wish you the best.Btw have you considered anti-depressants?

I dont want drugs.... I told my mom again I no longer want to see the pysc. She asked if it was because I was better. I told her "No, I just think its a waste of money"... I cant exactly tell her its because Im going to kill myself, but yeah.

You're not a waste of money, FaBMX, and the world will be worse off without you. Please reconsider.

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the world will be worse off without you

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this is a basic truth, think about it please

I walked around my house this morning. I stopped and looked at each room. With a teer in my eye, I said "I no longer want to see any of this" and walked away. It doesn't get any better. Each time It does, it just gets worse. No matter how much I hope, it gets worse. Each time I look forward to it being the 'end' of it, but it comes back. My dad is pissed off at me again. He wont fix my car (trans is dead).. He was going to put it in a shop like 3 weeks ago, but decieded not to.. Today he wanted me to go to work with him and I didn't want to, so now he is pissed at me and saying he wont fix it.... I cant work with him. I always end up pissed at him or visa versa, or both. Im not going to tell my friend Im doing it. All they will say is "You better not" or shit like that. They dont know how I feel. They dont understand how it is to be in pain for years. I tryed to help myself, but Im not better. Now, I just want to die. I dont want to live. I dont care. My life is nothing... I've heard it enough... "Your just a fucking stoner, you wont be anything" ... So, why stay alive? According to everyone, Im just a fuck up. No one understood I could balance that and school and life. Weed is the only thing thats keeping me alive. Everytime I catch a little buzz, I alway think 'I should stay alive, life could get so much better, I can just ignore everyone'.. But when Im sober, I cant think as postive and everyone gets to me. I've stopped talking about being depressed with my friend. Im trying to act like Im really happy and telling everyone things are great. I dont want them to know what Im going to do. I dont want anyone to try to stop me. I just want this pain to end.... I want the pain to just go away...

Now, the only thing I have to ask of this board is how to do it. I want it to be quick. I dont want to wake up in a hospital. I dont want it to be messy, so dont suggest shooting myself. I have around $90 on me, so I can afford to buy a few supplies, if needed. -Thanks

I think Im going to go on a hike to the local hills. I will think about it there and if I deciede Im ready, I can throw myself off the rocks. If I dont come back, this is good bye.

I'm sorry... I'm okay...

I just dont get it. Please forgive me for being insensitive, but why keep coming here telling us about how you want to kill yourself? Is this some sort of subconscious cry out for attention/help? Everyone keeps telling you how great of a person you are, and how valuable you are, but you refuse to see it. I have seen you offer great advice here, and you seem like a really nice person. You obviously think your life isn't worth living, so why not just end it?You want a way to kill yourself, but not by shooting yourself, because thats too messy, yet you consider throwing yourself off a cliff? Thats not too neat either. I sincerely hope that you dont take this message the wrong way. I have never understood why people would want to kill themselves, and I'm just trying to understand. Trying to understand why people decide to do it, and then why they talk about doing it. If you are going to do it, then you are and there isnt anything we can do to stop you. I think you are crying out for some much needed attention.

A lot of people talk about doing it, then go ahead and do it. Figuring out why is not easy, but it certainly is a good thing that a lot of people talk about it first.

I've always believed it is your right to take your own life. Unfortunately, it's a decisision you can't un-make. If I'd succeded my 2 attempts, I would never have seen my eyes in the face of my little boy. I would never have met my wife. And I sure as hell wouldn't be here to tell you about any of it.Suicide is selfish. You may as well do it, if you think killing your self will hurt noone. But I think not.

it is a cry for attention and help MM&I may not have put it delecately, but it's true. Most suicide attempts tend to be half hearted because the person is less interested in death than in showing how profound their feelings are. I don't mean that as a critisim at all. It's a shame that so many of us feel that words don't do our emotions justice.

The problem is that a lot of attempts, especially among males, do succeed.It's true that a person should have the option of suicide under certain circumstances, but a depressed person thinking about suicide is like a drunk person thinking about driving. They are not in the right frame of mind to make a rational decision.

I am trying to understand, but for some reason I cant. I'm not trying to tick anybody off, and perhaps unsupervised put it in more pc polite terms, but whats the point? The way I see it is if you have made your mind up to kill yourself, you are going to do it, period. In my opinion, if you continously talk about doing it, you must want somebody to help. If everything that everybody says is wrong because they dont understand you, your problems, your pain, why keep telling the same group of people that you want to kill yourself if not for all the "dont do its" "you have so much to live fors"When I said it was a cry out for attention, I didn't mean it was some sort of premeditated well calculated idea that if I say I want to committ suicide, people will pay attention to me. I think it is a subconscious cry for help. You are not fully committed to killing yourself, and you want help. Which brings me back to my original point, If its not for the attention/help, why keep talking about it?

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unsupervised put it in more pc polite terms

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now there's a first

In reply to:If its not for the attention/help, why keep talking about it? Because this website is called afraid to ask.. its a place where you can get help and advice... Not some chat forum which some people think it is..

Wow, you missed my point........it was a rhetorical question

Scenario #1
I have problems, soo many problems that I want to kill myself. I come here and tell you I want to kill myself. You tell me not to, that I have so much to live for, things will get better, etc. I then tell you that you dont understand me or my problems and I am going to kill myself. You tell me suicide isn't the answer. I tell you that I am hopeless......endless cycle......

Scenario #2
I have problems, soo many problems that I want to kill myself. I make up my mind that life is useless, and I kill myself.

Conclusion
If you are going to kill yourself you are gonna do it. You are not going to be persuaded by what total strangers say. You wont come here asking for suggestions on methods....if you do, its a cry for help.

maybe he came here to discuss his situation.. thats what most people come here to do