So here is the story. I am 19 and a freshman in college. She is 16 and still in high school. Three years ago we met, and hit it off the bat like nothing I had ever seen before. We ended up going out both very attracted to one another. However she was at the time a freshman, and I a junior and her immaturity got the best of her and she liked the attention guys were giving her. It only lasted between us about 2 months which wasn’t a lot of time to be together, and nothing really happened between us, she has been on and off dating but never seriously into a guy and never more then kissed them. I trust her on this and so should you, its one of those conditional things that you would only truly understand if you knew us. So over our years of developing friendships I always found my self looking back to her, and at the age I am at and the experiences I have had in all the various types of relationships, I can honestly say I think her and I would go very far. Now I was the one who ended it a while ago for her being to immature about things. But lately I have seen she has developed into some so much more beautiful and alluring to me. So one night on a drive home from a friendly get together I told her my feelings for her and how serious I was about it. She told me after she couldn’t stop shaking and was so drawn back by it. She has told her best friend and me that she would defiantly date me again, but that we were in just two different lives right now. She currently has a boyfriend who is nothing but a “teehee I have a b/f pretentiousness” still, they don’t really do anything together and barely call each other and I am sure all they have done is maybe kissed. The thing is folks, I want her to be that one in my life… When I am around her it’s like the classical symptoms of physical and platonic connections are there. Yet she turned me away for the time being. Some friends say give up man, its not worth your time, some encourage me to keep at it. I can honestly say approaching 20 years old, I love this girl with all my heart, she is a dear friend, and I think we could fly if taken to the next level, but she won’t open up to me and I feel as though I have burnt all my friends out on the issue. What should I do? I am so lost with out her. Our friendship took an awkward turn once she gave me the info of the “two different” lives speech but we got past it, and now I find myself listening to songs that remind me of her until 3 am and just praying to God and wishing that he can somehow show her how much I absolutely Love her and how good a serious meaningful relationship can be…. There is a very huge connection between the both of us… she said it was there too. I am just so crosseyed coming out of this cause I thought for sure she would choose me. She thinks I am attractive and stuff. I don’t know guys… its just you can be so sure of something in your lives, yet when it all “Seems” to boil down you were wrong. I really don’t wanna give up on this or her… my feelings remain as strong as ever. I am more of an old fashioned kinda guy who values love and the happiness of my significant other then my own person gratification or agenda, if she is happy I am. As a side note I have spilled everything to her… Thanks for reading. "Even the best fall down sometimesEven the wrong words seem to rhymeOut of the doubt that fills my mindI somehow findYou and I collide"
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I really need your help guys...
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I think you need to take into account your ages. Most girls (im around her age) would be incredibly freaked out by some guy saying your the one i want to be with you very seriously. And if she is the one you want to be with for a long time, she might be going away to college, and if it sounds to me like you would marry her later down the road, she might get freaked out by that (dont get mad but you sound like you would be the first to say i love you in a ship) and that freaks girls out more then you can imagine. Dont Dive in on her, try to keep things light and fluffy, especially if she has as little experiance as you say.
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Its true, and I saw that... and I backed way off, see I have a uncanny ability to control the amount of feeling I let in or out... but the thing is it feel right and I never told her I wanted to marry her. The only thing I said is that ""I think if given the chance we could go really far."I haven't told her I loved her, which is odd, but I know she is younger and something like that is a rediculous concept for a 16 year old girl. The point is we know eachoter in and out, we have carried a very stable loving friendship for the 3 years. Any other questions, I'll respond, but please don't take this as one of those crazy(don;t know if you have seen the commercial) --made her face out of starburst or psycho shit like that. Its just I don't wanna fuck around to experience the emotional let downs... and even if this starts back at regular dating I am fine, I just don't know what to do... It sounds retarded to be like oh I will wait forever for you... and I don't wanna seem like that cause its not true. Its just very confusing right now... thats all, but thank you for your post. Age really holds no barrier if you have known them for this long, in my strict opinion. I do also think its not wrong for the guy to say I love you first if he 100% means it... I mean when did that ever deem a negative connotation besides the raunchy gals who make jokes about all the guys they've fucked and laughed cause they got them to fall for them. I don't mean to be defensive but I don't see that as being freakish, we are both mature enough to handle how the other one feels. And she is not "most girls" keep in mind I didn't just meet this girl. People seem to never take that into account. Im not diving, I am putting a lot of space up actually, trying to maintain a carefree attitude and I don't bring it up anymore to her. Anyway sorry if Im kinda agitated, I guess it comes with the territory. But I thank you.
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Sorry, i didnt want to sound mean :P I just had a bad experiance with a guy i knew since i was nine, and decided to go all wacky your my soul mate on me. If i were you, I would date other girls, and hope that everything comes back down to her in the end. You sound extremely sweet, and im sure she is liking you like you like her right now, you guys just have to mean in the middle and be at the same place at the same time hope that was a little more help.
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Well thank you! Yeah I am currently open to dating, its just no one has come up as of right now, and I am trying not to be the seeker haha I am taking a break from that for a while, but yet I say come what I may! You have helped alot thank you. Me
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Encourage her to talk about her fears, without being pushy. Move at her pace, or else move on.
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