Kissing

---

My boyfriend is a really... um.. "interesting" kisser. He is a great guy and a great friend... And he can kiss with his lips, but once he opens his mouth it's like he doesn't know what to do. He'll open his mouth REALLY wide (try, yawming. yeah that big) and stick his tongue out much like you would when you're getting your throat checked. I've tried to gently ease him off by putting one hand on his neck or his chest and gently pushing back but he only pushes forward stronger. He even bites my lip, not a nibble, but a full out bite. I've specifically said he was biting to hard and needed to be gentler and he'll go "okay" and does the same only to be stopped by me over and over. I'm not his first kiss, he's had girlfriends who (I've been told, I know some of their new boyfriends) are decent/good kissers, so I think he'd be "trained" a little better. Another thing is he uses WAY to much spit and tries to cover my whole mouth with his, and again i gently push him off. I really like him, and he's okay until he opens his mouth, so I dont want him to think I dont like him or he can't do anything right. I just don't want to make out with him much anymore because it's not a pleasureable experiance on my end. I've even sent him "Are you a good kiser?", "What kind of kiss are you?" "What's your kissing trick?" type of quizzes, just to see if he'll get a little bit of a hint (I take them first and afterwards send him my results so he doesn't feel bad). I'v even looked up kissing tips on google and sent them to him saying things like "We should try #23!" just so he'll read through them. I don't know what else to do, other than straight out saying he's not a good kisser which I dont want to do because he's a bit of a softie and I love him and I dont want him to feel bad... but I'm really done with such bad kissing!!!-------I think this is the right board for this... If not could somebody let me know?

that's a tough one. I know you don't want to hurt his feelings but he's obviously not getting the hints. It takes tame and practise to be good at anything. You might just have to spell it out for the sake of both your happyness.

I know about the practice thing... He wasn't that great when I first started dating him, but I thought that was just because we hadn't figured eachother out yet. Now that's it's been a while, I figured he'd "learn". I really really dont want to have to tell him directly... Any ideas on how I can do that to minimize the hurt? Because he definitely will be pretty bummed about it..

i think you've tried a lot, including suggesting different techniques. maybe you can take charge of the situation. stop him every time he starts down the wrong path and them be the aggressor. He might actually find that to be a turn on

I have actually. And he did find it a turn-on. Teehee.But he still decides that he needs to take control, so I push him back (harder, cuz I'm "in control") and he tries to push back. He doesn't really get the dominating thing. sighDo you think I should talk to him in person (in private of course), on AIM, over the phone..? Because confronting him directly about it seems to be my only option... I really don't want to do that though... I guess it's my only choice..

probably the only way to move forward is to get it out in the open.
You don't need to say thaings like "you're doing it wrong". You can say things like "I would prefer" so he doesn't feel like it's an attack on his abillity

Wow, that sounds a lot better. Thank you SO much!!! *hug* :grin:

you're very welcome.good luck

dont use AIM or the phone to tell him hes not a good kisser. just doesnt seem right.

In reply to: dont use AIM or the phone to tell him hes not a good kisser. just doesnt seem right. Not only that--you can't demonstrate and practice the "proper" way.

I remember I had to get "schooled" in this at one point. Of course I was a beginner at the time...I guess you could try "I want you to kiss me like this or I like when you kiss me like this" the next time you're making out. That way you're not saying "you're bad" but "this is what I like".