Most embarrassing comment made about your masturbating

---

After years of driving down the coast talking nothing but football and surfing, the last two surf trips have involved beating off stories. Well the first trip was only me sharing a confession/story and then my mates paying me out about it. But this time, with two partners present (females always have much more empathy) things moved on.After a few hours surfing and a fewer more beers, the topic of 'the most embarrassing comment made about your wanking' provided a few laughs. It was first raised in the car I was driving down in - three hours is a long time!!This time my recount of my exploits redeemed me in the eyes of my mates When I was 18, I introduced a girl I had been seeing for a few months to my parents. Later that night my mum made the comment: “I thought you were seeing some-one as I’m not having to clean your sheets as much”. The postscript to this story being that since my parents were married at 18, there was no use my mum taking the high ground on the sex stakes; so instead she takes a backhanded dig at my hand fucking habits. My friends thought that a classic - a cool mum and me a stud shagging at 18!Despite other stories to the contrary, my bed has always been my favourite place to jerk it. I remember thinking at the time “What the ….; my mum checks my sheets!!! I had assumed she just threw them in the washing machine with detergent; but definitely without a pre-inspection for stains But what I didn’t tell my mates, nor dare tell my mum at the time, is that around 18 my best mate (and jack-off bud of three years) and I had started to experiment with sucking each other off. If my sheets were any cleaner, well this would have been more the reason.I think it is a funnier recount complete - you got to love a twist - but I’ve been single for three months now, so I didn’t want my mates automatically jumping to gay conclusions.What-ever!!No matter how you say it; masturbation feels great Sparkus

This comment wasn't made about me but it was directly linked to meAbout 5 years ago when i was sixteen, i was going out with my then-boyfriend. Now i had known him years but one day he was introducing me to a few mates from work.After introducing me to one of his work-mates, he said to him. 'I guess i dont need to ask who you do be thinking about when you're locked in your room pulling yourself'. The face on my bf went so red as the other guys were laughing too. I suppose i just took it on the chin, took it as a compliment in one sense. but the bf was so embarrassed even if his mate had only guessed what he was doing.

... and the young Sparkus takes a sudden interest in doing his own laundry

reply to:... and the young Sparkus takes a sudden interest in doing his own laundry ..................Ha-ha, there were a few occasions I ended up washing my sheets - as well as my parent’s sheets - after that back-handed comment!!I remember once, I was desperate to find some condoms and I searched all the draws in my parent’s bed-room. Nothing; the penalty we messed around in their bed. As such I ended up having to wash the sheets. However, sex fried my brain, and I forgot to put new sheets back on their bed A little bit of explaining there!! But I did get to find out the reason for no condoms; my dad had had a vasectomy Stay funky,Sparkus

After criticizing a friend for being so whipped, one the girls in the group said to me: "At least he has a girlfriend and isn't home jerking off to Kim Basinger"

I have 2 that I can't decide on.

First one was when I worked at a restraunt when I was 19, and ended up dating the cook (damn, still can't beleive I let that one go) anyway, when we finally started seeing each other, all the waitresses started complaining about how crappy his mashed potatoes were...he was getting out of practice since we hooked up..they even got some of the patrons involved. I was the red one, and he was proud that he found me..so sweet.

The second, was just the other day, my daughters grandma was outside with me and my neighbor, and she made the comment that we needed to get the garden in so I had something to do while she worked. My neighbor piped up.."buy LOTS of batteries, you'll be working and you can afford them.."
That was intended to keep me busy instead of getting out and dating again...he calls me a magnet..."you know, they can't pick up gold, but they sure are good at picking up all the other sh**t!"

sigh...maybe I just picked up that nail, and saved someone else a flat tire :grin:

In response to After criticizing a friend for being so whipped, one the girls in the group said to me: "At least he has a girlfriend and isn't home jerking off to Kim Basinger" ______________________Heh SeanAmbrose, that is funny; Kim Basinger is a favourite of mine too. As is Sharon Stone (I got to buy myself that 'Basic Instincts' DVD) and Nicole Kidman (how sexy was she in Moulin Rouge!!) She could have paid you out for far more terrible than Kim Basinger. How do you measure up,Sparkus