I’ve had a crush on a girl for several months now that’s been getting stronger and stronger. Two weeks ago I slipped a note into her folder when she wasn’t there, telling her how I felt, and asked if she could smile at me to let me know that she doesn’t want me to totally back off. She smiled at me. Then I gave her another a week later telling her I was too afraid to talk to her and asked if she could write back. I talked to her for the first time today. She told me she has a boyfriend, which I knew. I asked if we could be friends and she said yes. She also said she’s going to write that response I asked for. She’s very nice to me and obviously doesn’t want to hurt me. A friendship with her is perfectly fine with me but I’m worried that we’re never going to talk. We’re both extremely quiet and don’t really see each other much. We even tend to try to look the other way when we’re near each other. What’s a good way to try to get her attention if she’s looking the other way but is still watching me? I see her in the school band room and sometimes we pass closely in the hallway. If it matters, she’s 15 and I’m 17, male.
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First contact made, how to make more?
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Yeah its a rough situation.Also, please trust me on this one, You think friendship would be fine with her, but You are fooling Yourself with this thought.What You really hope is that this friendship just gives You time and then the opportunity to approach Her later on. Giving You the time. Its not that I have anything against friendship, but it was You who said You have a crush on her thats getting ever stronger. In this situation, friendship really isnt an option.Though its done everyday. You see this kind of sitation in movies, tv series and absolutely everywhere You go to.I dont want You to go that road, and You shouldnt want that either. You can become friends with Her but only when You dont feel anything romantic for her.You are in the do or die situation. I was in the likewise situation in high-school. It was different however, since she didnt have a boyfriend. Because of those glances I knew she was interested, and I definetly knew I was interested so it didnt take long for me to get to know her better. The same situation, different classes different friends, passing bye in hallways. At that moment I was happy even if I told Her "hi" once a day.Ridiculous, honestly, it is. When You want more, You need to go for it. Ask her out, not for a date or anything, but just a gettogether. Go for a lunch together, or ride with bikes for some nice place. Even movies are better than this situation You are describing.Just think of this from a regular perspective. For a friend its normal to do these things. For a lover its normal to do these things. Even for a man whos not a friend its normal to ask for these things and see if anything happens. I mean, seriously, You are currently held back only by Yourself.Now the more and more I see this situation, the more and more I understand why so many people are saying that its the girls who should make the first move. Guiys are just afraid at such a young age. Afraid of anything, getting hurt, being disappointed, being a disappointment, whatever.Lose all that. It doesnt do You any good. Since she is young and You are young, You cant still frame Your relationship within the barriers of some "teenage movie". In the very roots of things, this IS the same "affection" that You see in grownups. Im not going to say its about sex, since it isnt (but many think it is, bs).But it is about You being a man. And unless You are confident, You cant really make anything happen before that.So You have to be the one taking steps since She obviously wont. Because of Her "boyfriend", or because She is shy, doesnt matter. She aint going to take the step and if You wont then nothing will ever hapen.Trust me, I know. Ive been there.This fear of Yours not being able to talk to her, especially telling Her something like that was a mistake. Take it as hard as You can, and try to learn from it. This want very confident move. You need to find this confidence in You, go to Her and talk to Her. Watch Her straight in the eye.Its been said that an eight second glance both ways is a romantic one. So play on six or seven seconds. Try to hold Her glance, Her eyes.Since Ive written here alot already for You to think of, Im going to end with this simple line.A glance tells more than thousand words ever could. So dont be afraid to use it, and dont be afraid to read it Yourself.Theres nothing better than an honest word from a girl when She says em during an eyecontact.Ive been there as well : )
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Thank you very much. This has given me a lot of useful things to think about, and hopefully do something about.
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No thanks necessary, not now nor ever. Im trying to "help" because Ive been i those situations myself and had to learn the hard way.If I can help some other people overcome these issues better, then Ill try and say a few things.But no thanks is necessary. Thank me when You feel happy again about the whole situation. Either with Her or without Her. As long as You would feel good about it, and feel right.Best of wishes,Chris