last time i cut : March 4th ..2005 64 days SI free - that is if i don't cut today -( NEW goal : 70 days - 80 days ).. i met my SI goal for 60 days SI = self injury ( for those of you that don't know )-----------------i can't deal w/ this sh*t much longer. my nightmares and abuse flashbacks have been really bad lately. Would you miss me if i died and/or moved away and lost contact with you ? i was just wondering. i'm thinking about cutting my wrists tonight and just lying down in my bedroom and bleeding out ~ but i just can't do that to my homiez or my girlfriend Ellie.Dad drank TOO much today , by the time Mom and I came back from running errands in town today about 4 : 30 pm ..Dad could barley talk or even keep his head up .. ....first he passed out w/ his head on the counter in the kitchen, he awoke and tried to walk to his chair but only made it to the couch , now he is passed out face first on the couch . i hate seeing Dad like this .. i know Mom does too but she won't admit to it .i cried when i first saw Dad passed out today..why if i have soo much hate towards him, why do i cry when i see him passed out because he drank too much ?dad update ( 8:00 pm ) :the last time Mom and I checked on Dad he is still breathing .... still passed out ..... but he lookslike he is about to roll off the couch and hit the floor.dad update ( may 7, 2005 ) :DURING THE NIGHT DAD ROLLED OFF THE COUCH AT LEAST 3 TIMES ..... HE DOESN'T REMEMBER MUCH, BUT HIS BODY IS REALLY SORE .he has being vomiting and has loose stools but he doesn't recall anything of last night .this is the 3rd time this month he has passed out cause of being 2 drunk.~~~~~~~~~~~U CAN PM me IF YOU WANT