Hey can any girl tell me...

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Assumptions? Explain please?

She's not judging you because you use drugs. She stated a fact. You're a drug addict - a druggie. Plain and simple. Pot is a drug by the way. And you know what, I'm not gonna be nice because everyone else has been pretty nice as far as I'm concerned so I'm just gonna tell you flat out because I'm not too good at dancing in circles and painting pretty pictures.You can't get a girl because your attitude stinks. Oh yeah, and get over yourself. You could be the hottest guy in the world and not even the "fat chicks" would come within five feet of you. Trust me, I should know. I was one. If you want a girl so bad, lose your attitude and that big whopping chip on your shoulder that says you think the world owes you something. Drop the drugs because regardless of what Kurt Cobain says, drugs aren't cool and almost any girl is going to tell you that. You may not be good with the "hot chicks" but why not lower your standards a bit and actually try and get to know one of the more "plain" girls. She may just surprise you. Hope that wasn't too harsh. I'm just not as good at nicey nice as some others are.

Christ, you are all completely ignorant on the subject of weed. I've gone weeks without smoking and it's only a drug if you use it as one. Someone who works hard all day and at night occasionally puffs on a blunt to chill out and relax while watching Adult Swim isn't a fucking addict, why don't you educate yourself a bit. I don't sit in the alleys and stick needles in my arm. This is not related to the subject at hand and I'd appreciate if the straight-edgers who stay on topic.

Anyhow, I think those who have said I have little confidence are correct. Some new girl started at work today so I'm thinking of ways to make conversation, each time I think about what I say, I'm about to and then I just puss out. As a result I said absolutely nothing unless it was work-related such as "pass me that" or "excuse me". Just as she was leaving for the day I managed to say "by the way my name is ....", I think she'll be back tomorrow, I don't know her at all but it's a fresh start. I mean where can I go from here?

Do you like this girl or are you just "desperate and want to find someone?" (not meant as an insult)I'd say some topics of conversation could be like... "I noticed you just started here.. where did you work before?" and start talking about that... and of course the "by the way my name is xyz" is a good start... now you just need to follow up on that with some conversations..

Well I don't know her yet but she's a chance, I can't say if I like someone or not that I don't know too well. I'll try and find out more but $100 says she has a boyfriend.

Now that's what I call confidence... if you think like that you won't stand a chance with her

In my books an addict can be someone that relies on the drug to relax after a hard day's work. The key word here is rely.If one can't have fun, can't relax, or can't meet people without a drug, or generally becomes dependant on them, that's a problem. Whether it's alcohol, weed, cocaine - whatever. Dependence is the problem.

Agreed. Well said.

True dat!!!

To start this short post off, no Im not using drugs nor never have.But these took my best mate in highschool.You talk about "relying" on drugs, and depending on them isthe problem and so on... And You say that this isnt Your problem...Just the words my friend said. He was a low-timer, never did anything too strong.But being in denial is also a problem, and my friend was in denial. It started to affect Him more and more. He was a great student, but the stress before the finals really got to him.And even if he had told me one week before it happened, that he's just having fun and doesnt depend on them.. Well, that one week later he was in the hospital.Because of his friends though and support he had, he wanted to get rid of it. This addiction that had slowly been building in his mind and body.Self denial is the worst thing one can do. And Im saying this not because You said that "its ok as long as you dont depend or rely on them", but because my friend said the same things but gradually still fell into the pit of denial and addiction.Tell me whatever You want, but I almost lost my friend in such a situation. Drugs are not good and never ever will be. I hope You are strong enough person to handle this "thin line" without crossing it.

In reply to: I wouldn't find it intimidating to ask a fat girl out since most often they'd be overjoyed. I'm really sorry to bitch about this statement, but what the hell? I'm sorry, but I'm not some slender lady, I'm a curvaceous woman and I'm proud of who I am. I don't sit at home eating chips all day wondering if some quote un quote "hot guy" will ask me out because god knows I'm just dying to have a date (notice the sarcasm). I'm sorry to burst you're shallow bubble, but even we "fat chicks" wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole because of your sorry attitude. Personality makes or breaks you my friend and from some of the things you've said you've really got a crappy one.

aha, i overheard her today talking about her "boyfriend", you all owe me $100.i think i must have been adolf hitler or someone bad in a previous life and im just paying for it now. i wish i had a chance to meet god, id whack him over the side of the head with a tire iron and shove a railroad spike up his ass for all the years of torment. yeah real funny asshole, im just your damn toy

I think my problem is that I need to become something else. My current self is uninteresting and without any appeal whatsoever. All those people who say to "be yourself" are wrong. What can I do to adopt a new identity of some sort? Like should I join some cult or something or maybe be a PETA activist and act all into it just to impress the chicks even though I'll eat a porterhouse later in the evening?

There may be some cult that will appeal to you. If you join, you'll be too occupied to think about suicide, and you'll be surrounded by friendly, supportive people.

No You dont need to become someone else. Drop that thought, it is impossible. You are capable of changing Yourself, but never EVER can You become someone else. This is one of those thoughts that really is an "excuse", and is denying the real problems. You cannot become from the guy who says things like "date fat chicks for practice" into a guy who can appreciate personality.

But You need to change Yourself, it does seem obvious since You have a real bitch personality. I really do not know why it is so, since You dont really say much besides discussion about drugs and such. Not really about who You are.

Perhaps You dont care, but no matter You cannot become someone else.

I can however suggest You something. Change the environment. It wont happen before You start doing things differently. I "changed" alot thanks to the service in the army for example, and changing somewhat in the new environment in university. Just the change of scenery can do alot.

But really, since I know people are so different then my words wont really help.

Its not about "impressing the chicks". I mean, come on, dont You understand that its not some market out there where the highest bidding wins. You think its different for the girls? I mean, seriously, if the girl is looking for love then She doesnt care about those guys who can really offer her nothing but sex and "official boyfriend" tag. And in that situation, she ignores people just like You ignore "fat chicks", with the difference that You are wrong doing so and She is not, because Her reasons are right.

Is it just me or are You looking for some damn villagebike to ride every once in a while?

You really are puzzling, and keeping me blind since You dont talk about Yourself at all. Perhaps there is something we could help You understand or change, perhaps not, but without knowing this, its pointless trying to write these same lines Im writing.

If You wont say Yourself then perhaps Youd answer some questions? If You DO answer them, then please in as many lines as You could and honestly.

Where do You hang out and how often?

Do You hang out alone or with a group of people (if with the group, then how many and with whom (sex)). Friends?

What do You consider important in a friend?

What makes Your eyes shine? Aka, a topic You could talk endlessly about without fear of the loss of words.

Whats Your longest relationship with a girl?

What do You consider "important" in a girl You would like to have a longer relationship with?

Have You ever been in Love? No I dont mean crush nor the puppylove.

How do You approach a girl You are interested in?

What do You consider important in a person overall?

Have You ever told a girl that She is beautiful?

How do You talk to Your friends? I mean, Your stance, do You look in the eyes often?

Have You ever told a girl that She is sexy?

Do You feel Yourself nervous when talking to a girl?

What do You consider important in Yourself?

Then why do You think Your personality is uninteresting?

Remember that honesty is very important here. Dont bother to answer if You wont be honest. This should be the reason why You are here in the first place, for honest feedback, so please dont hold back and dont make things up.

Questions may seem funny but there is a reason why I picked them the way I did.

In reply to: the ones who charge obscene amounts of money can only do so because they're clean.And while you're at it, cure cancer and wash my car. white_lines, are you interested in changing? You don't sound too happy the way you are. Are look looking for afirmation and commiseration from others, or are you interested in changing anything? If you are, you can start with one little thing, and take it from there.

I know, I could have the same name as everyone else, same clothes, hair, etc. They'd probably arrange a marriage for me with a girl named Rebecca or Jane.

Do You hang out alone or with a group of people (if with the group, then how many and with whom (sex)). Friends?I'm alone most of the time. Once in a while I hang out with friends from work but I just want a friend who isn't a work friend. Maybe 5 or 6 total. Over the past 5 years I've had the same social situations being that I find a crowd, hang out with them till eventually it all goes sour, spend 6 or 7 months alone find another group, same thing. What do You consider important in a friend?Someone trustworthy who won't just use me. I've had "friends" who just use me for car rides and they'd even insist on driving my car, crash it, and accept no responsibility.What makes Your eyes shine? Aka, a topic You could talk endlessly about without fear of the loss of words.I dunno, something political or whatnot. I can ramble on about government conspiracies for hours.Whats Your longest relationship with a girl?Once in summer camp I was 14 and some other kids finally pushed me to ask this girl out, I did, she said yes then ended it the next day, never did anything with her at all. Later she said she just felt sorry for me. Later when I started 9th grade I went out with some girl for 6 days, she was from a different school so I never saw her, reason it lasted so long. Our first actually date we went to the mall, walked around, and she dumped me that evening. What do You consider "important" in a girl You would like to have a longer relationship with?Someone trustworthy, not someone who will use me, unless theyre extremely attractive Ill let them empty my bank account. But seriously, looks sorry it's just important, personality, something interesting, I dunno hard to explain.Have You ever been in Love? No I dont mean crush nor the puppylove.NoHow do You approach a girl You are interested in?Hmm, I dont. I think about it, words almost come from my mouth and nothing happens. Then I never see them again and thats the end of it.What do You consider important in a person overall?Knowlege, humor, someone who can offer assistance, do the same things id do for them, usually i go out of my way to help people which no one ever does for me. Have You ever told a girl that She is beautiful?No, just scared of the reactionHow do You talk to Your friends? I mean, Your stance, do You look in the eyes often?Ill try and study what i do and ill update, i really dont knowHave You ever told a girl that She is sexy?noDo You feel Yourself nervous when talking to a girl?yes my heart pounds, i cant find words, sound like a drunk even when im 100% sober, and i have a loss of breathWhat do You consider important in Yourself?Get back 2 u on thatThen why do You think Your personality is uninteresting?because i have no hobbies, no usable talents, honestly it sounds like im just feeling sorry to myself but ive thought long and hard and cant come up with shit. i feel like i do everything wrong. at work no matter what, i follow instructions but its still wrong, i dont get it

The first thing you need to do is study relaxation techniques. Or add beta blockers to your formulary. No, don't do that.

In reply to: You said that "its ok as long as you dont depend or rely on them" Who said? I said? I never said that, so please DO NOT quote me as having said that. In fact, why did you use quotation marks, because it's certainly not my saying.I never said drugs were Ok, so please do not put words in my mouth.So your friend was weak had no self control. Some people have an addictive personality, where others can use a drug, have their fun and never need it again. Not only that, but those in the know won't go out, find a new pill and dump the whole lot.