Worried about Mother - liver cancer

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She passed away today at roughly 3pm.She was admitted to hospital late last week because she was feeling more ill than usual, also she had been retaining a lot of fluid which had made her bloated.They drained the fluid off and she deteriorated from then on. Low blood pressure and eventually she passed away.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'll keep my thoughts and prayers for you and your family though this hard time.It's always hard to loss a loved one, esp a parent. Though atleast she is no longer in pain, atleast that you can be happy for.Take care and be safe.

OMG i don't know what to say except i am so very sorry for your loss big hug

I'm sorry to hear about it. I've been though it and I know how you feel. Life is not fair.

I'm very sorry, sadbuttrue.

I am so lost right now. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next. I don't know whats gonna happen to the mortgage on the house (cos I sure as hell can't afford it), or about anything else.I think I've arranged a funeral, but I can't remember properly.I'm not grieving - I don't know how.When the news was broken, I didn't know how to react. I was just sat there.Then they asked if I wanted to see her, and I exploded for about a minute, then it stopped again. I don't know what to do.

I'm not grieving - I don't know how.You system is probably still in shock. You'll greive eventually once everything sinks in. My brother was the same way at my grandfathers funeral (We were all very close to him). It wasn't until at the cemetary did it really sink in for him.You have a lot on your mind right now, just take time to breath and don't become too over welmed, though I know that's easier said than done.Take Care hun!

**don't beat yourself up cos you can't see yourself 'grieving how you are supposed to' there is no right and wrong way to feel in a situation like this, you will probably feel a rollercoaster of emotion, from anger cos shes not there to dispair about the future, every thing you feel is perfectly normal.

as for the future, have you got anyone to help you, to talk to, to give you a hug even. I can't imagine how you feel, but take little steps, or it will be overwhelming. One thing at a time, get the funeral over first before you panic about the mortgage, and when its time to think about that, find help and advice about it all, don't let anyone rush you.

I have felt lost before, and its the scariest thing in the world, but you do get through it, and people will help, you have to ask, dont' expect people to offer cos often they don't want to 'interfere' or poke there noses in, when really all you want is someone to take over a bit. People are afraid of saying and doing the wrong thing when there is a death. You will need help. Ask for it. I feel so patronising even writing this post, but i have been through a lot of funerals etc with people and your post made me cry cos they felt just like you do - im sorry if it does come across as patronising.

I wish there was something i could do to help, words that would make it all go away but there isn't. You WILL cope, and be able to smile and remember the good days, in time.

Thinking about you *hugs* **

What I'm finding really spooky is that they said it'd be 4 months, and it was, almost to the day. Yet there were always signs she was improving. At the beginning of the week she was "fine", and I saw her on Tuesday, and apart from being very bloated, she seemed quite cheery.I just informed one of her friends, who saw her about 20 mins before she went, and she said that while she looked quite ill, she was still trying to hold a conversation.I feel so bad that I wasn't there for her.I miss her so much.

**you will always miss her, it will just get easier to cope with.
The fact that she was holding conversations and seemed cheery would help me to know she wasn't suffering, towards the end, and as a mother myself the last thing i would want is my kids spending all their time by my bedside, i wouldn't want them to see me like that for one, and i would want them to continue their lives as they had been doing and try not to worry about me........i personally beleive that when people die they are still with us if and when we need them.........your mum will know how much you love her don't doubt that. **

I don't know whats gonna happen to the mortgage on the house (cos I sure as hell can't afford it), or about anything else.Is there anyone else, anyone at all, who can help you? Anyone in your family? Do you have any siblings? Family friends? I wouldn't worry about the technical details about what to do with the property, etc. at the moment.

I don't know what the inheritance situation is, but if you get the house, rent it! Don't lose it.

Don't worry about how you feel, sadbuttrue. There are lots of feelings you might have, and they can come and go and change, and they're all OK.

The inheritance situation will depend whether there is a will and what its terms are and who is the executor. The local council may well have an advice bureau that can help. But there's no hurry about that. Until the house is passed on to you it belongs to the estate and that means the bank has to accept that mortgage payments might be delayed. There's not much they can do about it until probate, though of course the mortgage will continue to accrue interest.

We have a copy of the will here, and 50% goes to me, and 50% goes to my brother ....and thats everything, not just the house.The problem is that the mortgage for the house is way past what me and my brother earn (as I have just returned to uni, so I don't earn much any more).Whether mum's life assurance will pull through is the big question mark over our heads at the moment. If it does, then all we'll have to work on is paying bills etc (which we may get a lodger to help out with).I'm going to the funeral directors this morning to work out the details.

hon you sound like you are coping a lot better than i think i would be hugs

I had no idea funerals cost so much!£1500 for the most basic thing I can get.£380 to burn a body£140 for 2 doctors to sign a form£95 for a vicar£980 for a hearse and coffin.It's extortionate.I don't think my grieving will begin till after the funeral. Thats why I want to get everything out of the way beforehand.

OK so I thought my week had been pretty shitty so far, right?Now some dickless shithead has reversed into the front of my car and done a runner.

Oh, I'm so sorry. That's the last thing you needed right now. I agree, funerals are extortionate. I ought to organise my own - something with a cardboard box and a bonfire in the backyard, perhaps.If it turns out that the mortgage will be too much of a burden, considerably more than you'd get from rent if you rented the place out, it might be better to sell. But don't worry about that just now.

Only just got round to clearing out mum's old room.Found letters she'd written to me and my brother before she died.That was some difficult reading. I think that I've actually started grieving now

I'm sure it's hard. I hope you are doing better soon.