I’m getting rather tired of not being able to carry on a sensible conversation with a guy I’m attracted to. Let me set the scene for you. I’m at work (either stocking drinks, ciggerettes, the deli, or ringing out customers) and one of the two guys I’ve developed a crush on comes walking through the door. I think to myself This is my chance to finally say something other than hi to him but what do I end up doing? I smile really big, say “Hello” and then freeze up. I try to talk to a guy but I always end up sounding either bored and uniterested or just plain whiney. What is wrong with me? There two very handsome and funny guys I’m attracted to and I always end up being a) a frozen statue when they’re around (or I look at my finger nails or feet like they’re the most fasinating things ever made) b) a complete bitch or c) I go and hide in the stock room or the lavatory so I wont embarress myself even farther. What is wrong with me? Am I just doomed to be alone? This is really starting to piss me off!
-
What is wrong with me?
-
confidence confidence confidence!!Wanna know the lame thing i used to do to bring my confidence up at work? I would just talk to random people.. and it made it easier for when the hotties came it!!
-
I have the same problem, i was signing this girls yearbook and i got so nervous and lost everything i was going to say. Im so bad at conversing/communicating my feelings or even general talking with girls :frowning:
-
I think this is pretty normal. I'm the coolest guy around girls I'm not attracted to but a complete idiot around girls I like.
-
Well I got a little farther today. Instead of just saying "hi" I managed a "how are you today?". How pathetic am I?
-
Not at all pathetic.
-
yeah definetly not pathetic.. Just try not to be so shy
-
yeh im exactly the same! i hate it, i can talk normally to guys im not intrested in romantically but guys who i like, i just act really stupidly
-
You could try a compliment? Or ask him what he plans on doing today, or if its the evening what he's been up to.
-
Yeah, Moose is right. Everybody loves a compliment.
(Damn, I wish I'd thought of that!) -
Don't be so hard on yourself, Katie Lou. It's not at all easy asking a stranger out. Try to talk a little more each time one of the guys that you're attracted to comes in. If he is wearing some cap bearing allegiance to a sporting team or t-shirt of a band you could chat about that. If he is wearing headphones ask him about what music he likes. If it's around a holiday you could ask what he's been doing / if he's going away. It's quite difficult in your situation because as you work in customer service you could be flirting heavily with a guy and he may dismiss it as you just being friendly and thus providing quality customer service. As a customer that wants to ask a girl out, I'm in the reverse situation. There's a girl that sometimes works at the Subway I frequent that is really friendly towards me - is she potentially interested in me or just being friendly to a customer? Each time she serves me (about 4 times now, over 3 months) I try to talk to her more, establish eye contact and smile. Joke around - be friendly. Sometimes when one is shy and speaks little it's mistakenly regarded as being aloof or stuck up when often nothing could be further than the truth. I agree with a previous post - try flirting with other guys, ones you aren't attracted to, to "warm you up". I flirted with a checkout girl a while ago - she was scanning a frozen tv dinner for me, looked at the box (it was beef or some dish involving meat) and said to me "I didn't know these actually contained meat" and I jokingly replied "I think one did, once, but they recalled it" - although I wasn't attracted to her (or her probably to me for that matter) it made the mundane act of buying groceries a little more bearable. There's an excellent Nic Cage film called "Adaptation" where he flirts with a waitress and upon the third or so visit, asks her out - you should see her face fall! To finish - no body likes rejection - personally I'm terrified of it - but if you ask someone out and they react badly that's a poor reflection of them - not you. Once I asked a waitress out and she turned me down as she said she had a boyfriend - but I remember how friendly she was - all smiles and appeared genuinely flattered - I floated out of there feeling better for having asked her out and been turned down than remain in limbo not having done anything. Not enough girls ask guys out. Good luck!