Help me before it's too late.

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I have gone to the cops. It is really hard. Do you think you can pm me?

i have been both. . My abuser sent a pack after me (at school). She was pissed i told. Told about it but left out an important part - she did it and allowed them to do it to me. She was outraged and my school bullies turned into another gang rape. .. On school grounds. Nothing was done to them but I blame myself for that. I told they jumped me and let anyone and every one assume I meant beat me up. Still… all they got was a few days supetion. Didn’t; matter tho my parents pulled me out of school cus I was a emotional mess. A year later she was arrested when I told about the abuse. It was a member here that helped me see that it was in my best interest to tell all of it. I’ve been threw court… I’ve been threw doctors and doctors and therapists. The tests, questions, even hiding evidence (at the time I didn’t understand it would be against her not me)… The hell will last for years……. But finally at 22 I can smile every day and enjoy myself. I want you to go to my art web site ( I’m redoing it so it’s un finished. But I want you to read the last page (click the pain link). Fuck I’m fuckigng crying… I hate this shit. http://calebsart.webs.com/

what counts is his handwriting (if he sent you a note or somthing) he said / she said don't work. images , tapes, opintment books, witness... My ssi ter got the book threw at her becouse I knew whare she hid her porn, our porn (when i say our i mean me starring in it) her books and her drugs. That wasn;t all of it either... the pictures they took of me and my junk... they documented every scare, bruse and cut. Had a big brus on my back wher eshe rammed me into a cabent doornob in my back. ..... yea i have to stop now.

Thanks for sharing that with me. I'm sorry I made you cry. I might be transfering.

you ddi not make me cry - pain did.

I am going to get my hands on the tapes.

I wish I knew what to say but I want you to know my silence is not for lack of caring about what has and is happening to you. My silence is more to do with the emotional turmoils I'm going through myself. I care but like roc pointed out there's little we/I can actually do. I would suggest, if you haven't already, get your social worker to see if she/he can get you in to see a therapist. Given the traumatic happenings in your life currently they aught to do something for you. Maybe you can contact the Sexual Assault Hotline.

I'm going to see mine on friday. I have been seeing one for awhile all I do is cry I haven't talked to them yet.

I know it's much harder said then done but put the tears aside and start talking. You might try and approach it as a mission. Don't go in with the idea of an emotional release, go in with the idea that I'm going to get this one thing said. Say that one thing and then allow yourself to break down. Be hardened in your resolve to do this for yourself. Sometimes we have to stay our emotions to better serve our psyches. Commit yourself in your mind to getting the most you can out the time you have with your shrink and that may mean pushing the emotions down just enough to at least allow some meaningful communication.

I'm going to start over somewhere new after the court case.