Dnt no what to do

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hey im new here, im not expecting any help just want to get some stuff off my chestlately i just feel like theres no point to any thing any more, i just feel like im trapped in this life and im gonna be feeling like this forever, no hope of anything better, i suppose this all started about 6 years ago when my parents got divorced, it came as a real shock to me, i stopped playing football, put on a lot of weight and started drinking at the age of 11. then when i was 13 i started smoking weed and then moved on to coke for a short period felt like it was the only way to get the feeling of being happy again, then my granddad died and things went from bad to worse, i would get angry if i couldn't get hold of alcohol, then i managed to calm down a bit and was still drinking just not as much.then last year i started 6th form and everyone there was so nice and friendly and i found some friends that really cared about me and things started looking good for once, then along came a girl things between us where on and off and when im not with her im down and just keep thinking about her being with other people which then makes me feel even worse, this stopped me from being able to any of my coursework as i had just lost interest in it and then i failed the course and had to redo the year and now all my friends have either left the college or i dnt see them as much as im in a different year, i just feel abandoned and just feel like im sinking into a black whole that just keeps getting bigger and bigger, i have had thought about ending it all, but i have never done any self harm, last new years i sat with a bottle of pills in front of me crying and thinking about ending it all but i didnt, i have never told anyone about how i feel or about my drinking or drugs as i no longer speak 2 my family and have no will either. well rant over thanks for n e one that bothers listening

Welcome to A2A. Wow! What a powerful opening post. I too am dealing with the huge weight of depression and self worth. I hurt so bad sometimes it's seems it's too painful to even cry but I have learned that the sun will come up the next day and that I need to do everything I can to make this place and time, right now, better each day. Never give up the fight. There will be a lot of happier days ahead of you. You have soooo much to look forward to. Your whole life is ahead of you and you will acomplish great things!I understand being young, misunderstood and unable to define and process the overwhelming feelings we have each day. It can be difficult at best. Know that there are so many of us out there feeling and experiencing the same as you. If nothing more come here to this place to if you need to rant and release what's swirling about inside your head.We're all here for you buddy. I personally found that there are a lot of people on this sight who ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU!Hang in there buddy. PM me if you need some help

I know things seems so bad that its never gonna get better hon, but it will in time.......don't give up hope that it will.You have a choice to either allow life to drag you down, or get up and do something about it to make it better (the harder option by far but the best)I spent a lot of years depressed, i was lucky however not to get into drunk and drugs, basically cos i had kids to look after and couldn't afford it/or to go down that route cos i had them to look after.Don't feel alone, there are lots of people who feel as you do now, things get better, but you can help them along with making some positive changes in your life: write a list, proritise and work on one thing a week then tick it off. You are strong enough to get through it you just need to believe in yourself.

i'm not much of a 'talker' person, i would like 2 get some help but i couldn't face speaking 2 any of my friends about this as i have started drifting away from them and my dad would kick me out if he found out i ever did drugs and my mum left when my parents got divorced so im not close to her and i cant afford a professional, so i was thinking about medication but im not sure how i would go about this, would i just need to see my GP and explain the situation to him

and I'm from england so I'm guessing the process for this would be different then in the usa. i no some of you may be thinking this is the easy way out but i just feel at the moment i need some help and i don't think talking to people about it will help as much as i need and after all these years of still being unhappy with my life i have realized alcohol doesn't work as a self medication for this

Im glad you're in the UK, so am i.......a visit to your GP should get you referred to someone you can talk to about how you feel, what you have been through etc, and it won't cost anything and your parents shouldn't need to know.........there are people on here willing to listen if you need someone to talk to, like, myself and Roc for example......

i dont no about that as i dont quite fancy having to keep getting reffered from one doctor to another, it is also hard for me to see my doctor as i dont drive, i just feel like there is no help and no light at the end of the tunnel

When I was having problems (I'm in the UK too) I went to my GP and they referred me to a councellor.Unfortunately it made absolutely no difference to me and they refuse to put me on anti-depressants, but it may work for you.Either that or your GP will look into medication for you - but they are obliged to help in some way. I didn't have to pay for any of my counselling. I went for about 6 months (twice a month).I definately say talk to your doctor.

Dude,I’m sorry that it didn’t help. I find talking to an unbiased party helps a lot. I wish we had free counseling in this country… You’re so fortunate.

I really hope you feel better, and I hope that things get better for you.It really sucks that the counselor didn't help. I hope you can find someone that will help.